Mr. Anatomy,
I have a question that may not be very popular with your bloggers. I am a stripper and have been for 3 years. I started dancing when I first entered college and I've been able to sustain my life through the income I make. I am a product of an interracial marriage. My father was a Navy Pilot and my mom a surgeon from Jordan. They divorced when I was 15 and I have been living the California life since. My features are dark because of my dad, and Middle Eastern because of my mom. My looks have always opened doors but I never truly know if people are truly loving me or just my body. I met an older gentleman at the upscale club I work at near (Not Gonna Say it) and he has been taking care of me somewhat for the last 8 months. I have fallen in love with this man, but I have never told him because I was trying to keep in business-like. My Question is .......
"Do Sugar Daddies ever marry the young girl they take care of ?" He is very prominent and wealthy. I just wonder if he means everything he says about a possible future with me!"
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
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There is a thin line btween loving him & loving what he does 4 u, its hard 2 differentiate the 2....But be clear.
ReplyDeleteTake everything he says with a grain of salt dear. Actions speak louder than words. And even with actions they will do jus enough to keep you hooked and faithful. This is my advice to you, Get what you can and Can what you get!! At least have a nice nest egg saved up to start over if he trades you in when he gets bored. Or use the nest egg to show him that you weren't jus taking and squandering his money that you appreciate him. But always have a plan b, c, and d!! Your future is in your hands not his!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Sherita and Simone for replying so quickly. That is how I have been doing, taking what he gives me and putting it away for a rainy day. He told me if we are going to keep it business like, I should save everything he gives me until he gets bored. But, he says if I want a future, he would invest more time, money, and effort into a real relationship. I currently live in one of his condos and he pays for everything, I'm just curious to know, if I make a commitment to a relationship, will he be more inclined to do more for me, or will it come to a screeching halt. I am looking for anyone who has been in this predicament before.
ReplyDeleteMs. Exotic Dancer
Been there but every man is different, mine turned into a controlling maniac that never wanted me to leave the house or work. You have to pay attention to the subtle signs he displays about you being independent. I didn't work, was a house "girlfriend " for a year. You have to decide if you wanna live with whatever stipulations he imposes (cause there will be some) and if you can handle it. Jus keep a plan in place for ANYTHING imaginable to secure yourself in the event you get in a bad situation. Also are you sure this is the type relationship you want? Totally dependant on someone is a sticky situation. What if he decides he done spent too much money and he want some return in the shape of your life or sanity? Think long and hard bout this babygirl cause sugardaddies aint what they used to be. You watched Dateline lately??? Don't get missing love. Tread lightly! Be careful and never let your guard down!!!
ReplyDeleteI like that sherita.
ReplyDeleteWe all have. It takes sum longer than others. I have nvr bn a kept woman but to each its own but that word does come with stipulations. I have learned even in bein married that its nothin like havin ur own or bein able to help him. I know she doesn't want to hear the christian thing so want go there. But a Peace of MIND is more than money can evr by. I just wish these reality shows would let ppl know wat really goes on behind CLOSE DOORS. Didn't mean to get on my soap box. But you do nd a Plan *A B C D E whn it involves Money *and a Sugar Daddy. Ijs. Do u really know how many ppl he is keepin. If he has money than more than likely u r not the only kept WOMAN. Just keepin it ReaL. No harm intended.
ReplyDeleteSam you never know where she is in this she may need that WORD so preach sista! who knows this may be the first word she's heard!!
ReplyDeleteSherita so true. Seek God young Lady. So often we look 4 things but true happiness and fortune can only come from God. The things we have will fill that void for a minute but only GOD can fill that true VOID. Your treasures come from GOD not Man. When God Blesses you it want be strings attached or ultimatums. I dnt know where you stand with God and I'm not tryin to judge you But there is no Blessing or peace like a Godly one. Search your soul and ask ur Soul is it TIRED. Bc its sumthing better 4 you YOUNG WOMAN that GOD MADE in the BEAuty of HOLINess. Again no harm intended.
ReplyDeleteSherita, my Sister in Christ, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah! You pushed, and thank you to Samjuskeepitreal, for doing just that, keeping it real in the LORD GOD! Sherita, I was reading your responses and saying to myself, is anyone going to give this young lady some WORD. I don't mind you dating ANYONE, but remember this; how something starts, is how it ends! Do you think he was supposed to rescue you from the strip club? Sam said it best when she asked, "Do u really know how many ppl he is keepin. If he has money than more than likely u r not the only kept WOMAN." Sister, those are true words and answers she needs to seek. I am a believer that love may come from strange places, but honey, really dig deep and ask yourself is this really the life you seek? Then go to your knees and ask the same question if you are a woman of any faith at all, and watch your blessings flow by way of clear answers! Mr. Anatomy, this BLOG is helpful in so many ways. I have asked those I counsel to just come hear and read some of the REAL TOPICS you all tackle. Your regular bloggers are dynamic in vision and clarity for understanding. I am so humbled by the direction you are taking and answers you give. My final question is, where is Kimberly Michelle? She's been absent as of late. See Mr. Anatomy, I read!
ReplyDeleteFirst Lady
Hurchel as I typed to her the first time I truly wanted to go str8 church. But often times ppl dis what they alrdy know and feel whn they first began to reach out. I know peace can only come from GOD above. My young sister is lost in the money and things. "Players Club lisa rae " but I wonder how many times has she cried herself to sleep. Askin God is it sumthing better bc it is. God is just a prayer away for the true Answer. You reached out to Hurchel now reach out to GOD. We are just vessels he use. I'm not goin to tell u to hang in ther and c wher it goes bc that's what is goin to happen. "Its goin to be ova sooner or later but with what emotional scars"
ReplyDeleteFirst Lady Nj I love readin Hurchel Blogs. Most of the times I just read them. But this one just didn't settle right n my soul. And I hope I hvnt offended this young lady. But God wants us to do better whn we know better. We all are learnin and thankful for Grace&Mercy.
ReplyDeleteSamjuskeepitreal Woods, Sherita Miller, Simone Weathersby and First Lady, you guys make my blog successful. I love the dedication everyone bring to solve the problems most hate to face. To Love Life, is to see ways to make it Better! I walked out on faith from a real job to do this and Life Coaching full time, and so far, I haven't had a reason to regret my decision!
ReplyDeleteLooka Here young Girl, I use to be a suga daddi and let me tell you, we means well with our intensions but when you got that money rollin in, everybody tryna be yo girl! So wat I'm sayin is watcha back and watch who ya talkin to about your sitchuation. Haters will be tryna go behind ya back and steal yo dough. If he gone be a true suga daddi, tell him you want to stop dancin and playin on tha pole and do school full time. Tell him you want a real life and you want him to bankroll it! But, one thing you gotta do is get some shit with cho name on it. You said his condo, F that! Yo name gotta be on dat, cars, yo name, bills, his name! Ya feel me. This wat I'm sayin, when he leave ya, make sure yo done came up with some stuff. Not just rings, jewelry, and clothes, have sum stuff you can't buy yo dam self. Cause its gone run out, but play yo cards right and have sum shit of yo own.
ReplyDeleteTha Don n Miami
And you never will (regret your decision) Mr. Anatomy !
ReplyDeleteAmen Sherita. Hurchel u open doors of communication from all walks of Life. It is definitely not in vain. :)
ReplyDeleteDon N miami. Would u tell ur own daughter that if she came to u with the same ? Bein that u use to b a sugar daddi. And how long ago was this SD thing 4 you. Was it durin the 70s & 80s I'm jus askin.
ReplyDeleteSamjuskeepitreal, I'l tell my daugter tha exact same thang bcause we came here from Cuba and I had to scratch and claw for everthing, nobody gave me nuthin. I want her to kno what this world is about and the streets will do. I rather her get in a relatiship that gone give sumthin than a dead beat dood that wont. Wen I was suga daddiy, it was in the late 80's and beginnin 90's. Imma old cat now, did a little fed time and came back changed!
ReplyDeleteTha Don n Miami
Don brought it own home!
ReplyDeleteDon its nothin wrong with hippin ur daughter to what's goin on . But to encourage game poppin is totally different. Sam n Memphis :)
ReplyDeleteDear Ms. Exotic Dancer,
ReplyDeleteOur Bloggers have given you some excellent information, however, I can't say I agree with it all, but our goal here is to shower you with options so you can see several different perspectives. Ultimately, you have to decide what's important to you, and how you plan to meet your needs both financially and emotionally. In my teachings, I feel a woman is much more marketable when she has prepared herself NOT to need anyone else. Sure, as women, your goal, at times, is to a have a knight in shining armor, but men of substance admire and adore women who are self supportive, or the perception of that is there. As for your question, and your sugar daddy, what we see is often times what we get, however, if you are going to continue seeing this guy, make sure everything is put on the table. Make sure you guys have an understanding about the future. Love is a funny thing..... one day you can feel it really strong, and the next day, something happens to show you, "Maybe this isn't the relationship I thought it was!" You have to have more in common than just a great body, money, and THINGS, because easy come, easy GO! You have to reach a person on a much deeper level than the life one can provide! I hope this helps, and keep us posted on your decision.
Mr. Anatomy = Hurchel Williams, MBA
To all, I truly thank you for your information and the words that assist in my decision. My Sugar Daddy gives me comfort in many ways, but in my mind, I figured one day this special treatment would leave, I just wanted some opinions to support my real thoughts. I'm young and don't have time for a traditional boyfriend because of my studies, but I like what you said Tha Don, when you said, "Tell him you want to stop dancing." I have told him that before but he says he likes coming in and having a drink to me dancing and then loading me up with cash so the other girls know I'm his! Mr. Anatomy, I got all the "THING" I need, so now I am looking for stuff I can't provide myself. I have done my homework to check him out. He is a CEO of a Tech company in the Silicon Valley, but with that type of background, could I ever be enough for him? I am like the woman on Mr. Deeds minus the child. He took me to one of his corporate condos and said stay here as long as you like!
ReplyDelete