To Comment on today's Question, Simply click on the word "Comments" below
next to the number of comments and then, type in the white box!
Mr. Anatomy, This question has the power to shut this BLOG down with the type of shame my husband has brought to himself and our marriage. I live in (NOT Gonna Say it) and I went to New Orleans for Essence Fest last month. As you may or may not know, this is a weekend event of nothing but fun with my girls from college. Unfortunately, after getting there on Thursday and enjoying the festivities on Friday, I got really sick and had to fly home early. I called my husband several times Saturday before I flew home, but I got no answer because he typically counsels at the church on Saturday. Well, I got to the airport, caught a shuttle home to a really dark house. When I walked in, I heard some music coming from the bedroom. I figured my husband must have gotten my message and was trying to surprise me after all I had been through. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case at all! I walked in on my husband in bed with a big, thick, musclebound MAN. They were engaged in an act I care not to share in detail but let's just say there was a six, and there was a nine involved in the sequence. Bloggers, my husband is an Associate Pastor and the brother that was there with him was his co-worker and department head. I've been to counseling since this happened but I'm afraid I can't get passed what I saw no matter how he tells me that was a one time occurrence. My Question is .....
"Do I expose what I have carried since the weekend after the forth of July, or do I let the pastor, who speaks out against gays and lesbians keep his secret desires hidden?"
Ma'am, I must say, this is a strong topic to come back from my short vacation with. Let me tell you this, this topic will be very explosive so be prepared for the type of anger and responses that you might hear based on the enormity of the subject. From hence forward, I will address you as Ms. "Shocked" and will ask that you please stay available for any questions my bloggers may have.
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.com (send US your Questions anonymously)
www.cafepress.com/anatomyofacheater (purchase OUR merchandise)
www.anatomyofacheater.com (visit OUR website)
http://twitter.com/anatomyofacheat (follow US on Twitter)
https://www.facebook.com/anatomyofacheater71 (like US on Facebook)
Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.com (send US your Questions anonymously)
www.cafepress.com/anatomyofacheater (purchase OUR merchandise)
www.anatomyofacheater.com (visit OUR website)
http://twitter.com/anatomyofacheat (follow US on Twitter)
https://www.facebook.com/anatomyofacheater71 (like US on Facebook)
Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.
He needs to be blasted from your life and the church and I'm sorry that probably was not the first time that was probably undoubtedly the first time you caught him
ReplyDeleteLord I feel sorry for you!!!! I can't even imagine the pain you went through with that. Now I have am questions. Are y'all still together? Do u have any other proof other than u walking in on them? This could back fire if u decide to tell it if you don't have proof. If you do than I would certainly tell it. They say what u do in the dark must come to the light. Well you could be the light and show the ppl that he's trying to lead that he is a fraud.
ReplyDeleteIf you havent already you need to RUN to the doctor and get tested. I would not keep his secret. He had no regards to you and your wellbeing when he did not disclose to you that he was bi sexual. You should have been afforded the opportuni
ReplyDeletety to make a choice to be in a relationship with a bisexual man. He obviously is comfortable in this lifestyle. Performing a 69 is not a first time feat in any type of sexual tryst, that comes with practice and comfort. He is a liar and an hypocrite. Get away from him you will be the only one hurt in the long run.
Tell it!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat Sherita Miller said!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis has been a very trying time for me. I have been tested for HIV and Aids and as of now, I am still healthy. Imagine what I felt seeing my man with another man, it was shocking so my friend suggested I reach out to Mr. Anatomy. It would have been easier if it were a woman. I stood there and watched what was happening before I said one word and that has been repeating in my head over and over. Sherita, you are very expressive and my friend who's a First Lady told me to look for you and a lady named Kimberly Michelle to get the real answers without any fluff. Sister, you don't disappoint. Dea, I agree, I should have the choice of whether or not this was a lifestyle I wanted to participate in and that choice has been taken away. He is begging for forgiveness but it's simply not that easy. I think the biggest part of him just doesn't want this to get out. Raymond, thanks for a man's opinion and to answer your question, I took a picture of them together and when the camera flashed, that is when they noticed me standing there. He took my phone and slammed it against the wall but thank GOD for those otter boxes, the I-Phone still worked. I will wait for more answers. Thank you so much bloggers.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like movie I watched once called "Cover", Omg! u seem way more calm than I would be, I honestly would expose him, he didnt think or care about protecting ur feelings while he was gettin his freak on, so why protect this image he has at church, he's a hypocrite and I would be furious to find out the man I have been looking to for guidance in the church is a liar!
ReplyDeleteYou will never get over that Betrayal or forget it in your memory rolodex.You are possibly wondering about any and every male friend your husband has introduce you to? It's a wrap, Realationship is completely over! Kick him out Now! Please
ReplyDeletedon't do the He needs to Choose ? You will lose? Or cause more disappointment to yourself. Do You Live in PEACHES , GA ? aka Atlanta ,Ga. I think You need a Fresh start away from your Husband and the entire Church. There is no way a Preacher whom has Clergymen that High up in ranking. Does not know that his guys are Under-cover Brownie Queens? Rev. Lyons use to Preach out against Gay people too? See how that turned out. Part of being a Christian is being forgiving? Your a New Christian ,kick em to the curve.Please note do not run up on the Muscle bound man talking shit? He maybe in Love with your Husband. And willing to knock you out ?
Also keep in mind the HIV virus can lay dormant for 6 months to a yr before being detected, get tested again!
ReplyDeleteMr. Anatomy, I know this situation all too well. This lady is MY Friend and I asked her to write in to you because this type of behavior is what gives our churches a bad name. Yes, I do know her husband and have been to his church several times. I am praying about the next course of action. My husband, who has a congregation of more than 5,000 members, is my rock and I never keep anything from him accept in this case, but I am so close to telling him and allowing him to talk to his brother in Christ. If he knew this went on, he would probably ask this man of GOD to step down and get some help. Mr. Anatomy, I seriously tried to pull myself back from this situation, but I have been very supportive of my sister. I have gone to counseling with her, held her hand and although I don't agree with her counselor's complete plan of therapy, I support her continuing to talk about it. I have gone to your website on life coaching and have shared your information with her. Based on her feelings, and her comfort level, she will contact you discretely if this is something she is ready to do with you face to face or over the phone. Mr. Anatomy, I am always telling people, if you want to see how the other side live, follow this blog. You helped me when I was in need and my repayment to you is send you more interesting topics that people hide from. This one is probably the worst you will ever see! You have my blessings, and I pray for you all the time.
ReplyDeleteFirst Lady - NJ
Hell Yes Expose His @$$..in yo' bed too!! NO respect! AIDS, AIDS and more AIDS. Black women are dying EVERYDAY because nobody exposes it. You are not the first woman to find her man in bed with another man. Save yourself and others!
ReplyDeleteDear Ms. Shocked,
ReplyDeleteLike you, I am shocked too. In this day and age of disease and hidden trauma, I am appalled that a person in a position of trust would act in this reckless manner. My slogan, "Adults do What Adults Want to do" speaks to this exact situation: Turn your back, and when no one is looking, I will pull off something that is all about physicality and desire! We all are human, but when you accept a position of Pastor, or any billet of the cloth, you have to leave things that are detrimental to your church family in the past and buried in the abyss. Based on several things you have outlined, I don't think this is an isolated incident, but then again, what would you expect him to say? I know and believe prayer answers and resolves all types of things, however, I honestly feel your husband should step down and simply say it's for personal reasons. First Lady, tell your husband so your friend's husband will have someone to confide in and walk to a solution, if indeed that is what he seeks. The choice would be simple, step down, or I expose your secret to everyone.
Mr. Anatomy = Hurchel Williams, MBA
Dude if this happens to me just shoot me, i would hate to have a big thick piece of meat on me
ReplyDeleteDepends...ethically you have grounds. He's lying to people and not preaching his beliefs. It s people like that that give Christianity it's bad name
ReplyDeleteI must say that I had to read this post 2 times to make sure I had the story straight. First of all, I am truly sorry that you had to experience this and I pray that you will gain the strength to cope with what he has done to you. I can honestly say that I think THIS is a woman's biggest fear. I know what it is like to be hurt. The first thing that we think of as women is "How do we get even?" We will sit and think of ways to get one up over the person that hurt us. I am guilty of that very philosophy myself. I know that it is easier said, but your husband will have someone even greater to answer to on judgment day. I often find that some pastors will criticize and point fingers, but they too are humans and make the same mistakes as the people in their flock. Although you're hurt, ask yourself what will you have to gain from exposing him? Do you honestly think exposing him will make you feel better at the end of the day? Will you be able to deal with the pain and humiliation that comes along with the exposure? I honestly believe the thought of him knowing that you are aware of his secret is enough punishment within itself. I think you've made a wise decision to focus on you first and seek counseling. The old me would say, burn him at the stakes. But now that I've experienced so much more in life, I want to say be the bigger and better person and just move on... His loss!
ReplyDeleteEXPOSE HIM!!!!!!! Dirty nasty son of a gun!!!! He better step down up there preaching the Lord's Word n folks listening to him. WHAT FLOWS FROM THE PASTOR WILL FLOW UNTO THE PEOPLE. TRUST ME!! HE NEEDS TO STEP DOWN. SHAME ON HIM suppose to be a man of the cloth. Yes we all are human & sin but gezzzz I had to wait to comment on this & pray 1st b/c my comment would have been similar to Sheritas!!! I pray for you lady & continue to seek counseling. I know I would b/c my mind would be totally messed up & I would have to pray I wouldnt snap & kill his a**!!!!!
ReplyDeleteup there my comment posted me as Anonymous b/c I wasn't linked in with my account. It's Patricia & I said EXPOSE HIM!!! Dirty nasty son of a gun!!!!
ReplyDelete