Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I have struggled within myself for a few years about something I do in my alone time. I have been happily married for 8 years, and been with my husband for a total of 10. Our life is normal and I think, very rewarding. We have 2 children and are an all American type family, I guess. But, I spend a lot of time pleasuring myself. My husband loves me, and there has never been any infidelity on either side. I just don't get the pleasure I once did from my husband, so I find myself looking for breaks in my schedule to take care of myself. The other day after being with my huband, I rushed to the bathroom to finish and when I opened my eyes, he was standing there. He shook his head, and simply walked away. Damn, I thought he was fast asleep, like always. My question is ..............
"Is wanting to be alone with yourself a common thing? I never deny him, but my enjoyment comes from me, and me only when it comes to sex."
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
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I think you should sit down and talk to your husband. For you to have sex with him and letting him know he's not pleasing you is wrong and a waste of time on both parts. You should let him take part in pleasing you instead of doing it alone. Let him see you play with yourself, go buy some toys and play together. If you do this you will see that you don't want to be alone and you and your husband will have fun while pleasing you. This will also change your sex life for the better and bring you and him closer. Stop hiding from him will only push him away. I hope this helps you...
ReplyDeleteYes mam you are perfectly normal. Men do it women do it. just be open with your husband and talk to him let him know what the problem is and he will come around, yes his ego is hurt because he caught you and it makes him feel like he is not pleasing you, (which he isn't) but that a blow to his EGO ,i do it all the time i just don't get caught. Help him to understand that he satisfies you ,but sometimes you need a little more. when you tell him the truth he will want to join in and go the extra mile, while you are pleasuring yourself.
ReplyDeleteSoooo r u saying there's nothing he can do to please you? But I'd rather you take matters in your own hands the. Go out and find somebody else. I'm sure it probably hurt seeing you doing that right after y'all just finished. Have y'all talked about it?
ReplyDeleteThis is not as uncommon as you think. Simply sit down and talk to him. There may be ways that you could incorporate pleasuring yourself during your time together. It could be arousing to your partner to watch you pleasuring yourself and make for a more intimate sexual experience for you both.
ReplyDeleteDEFINE NORMAL!!! Exactly, there is no sure thing. This is how i see it. Your sexual pleasure isnt that of another. No one and i mean no one knows ur exact desires, spots and wants like u. Even if u show, teach and preach it over and over. I can fully understand this because sometimes i feel the same way and hell will often do m throughout the day at work. Many times i may fake during sex because he wont finish until he believes ive reached my peak. For me ther is no peak. I want MORE MORE MORE MORE but just not more of him. Ith me the love is vvery deep but many times im bored with the same touch and routine. I love the way my soft hands feel on my slippery body and i can get it exactly right each time without the beat down, sweating, full hour or play. Hell i am my four play at times. Nothing is wrong with satisfing u. Hell if u wont then who will.
ReplyDeleteSatisfing u is one of the 1st forms of pleasure we learn in the womb. Its instinctive to please rself when the need is there. Would it turn u on if yall masterbate together? Try it. Have u tried allowing ur female friend to do it for u? Try it...u will be so surprised how her touch is so close to urs.
ReplyDeleteMr. Anatomy, I didn't know you meant you would post it right away, I am so sorry I am just seeing this. I will attempt to catch up and get this discussion going. Okay, for those of you who say, I should just tell him how I feel. I am so emarrassed for what he saw. I mean, yes, he knows I have toys but has expressed he wants no part of that. (he's old school) I took that to mean he doesn't like me using toys, so I have stayed away from that conversation, so I feel like I am sneaking most of the time, but I enjoy it because I know what I like. Raymond, yes, he can please me, but, and don't take this the wrong way, but sometimes I feel he is in it for himself and not for the both of us. He is a great guy, and that's why I don't want to say, "You aren't doing it for me!" How do you fix your mouth to say that to your husband? Mandy, I would like him to be aroused by it, but when I am there with myself, I fantasize about many different things, do you think he would sit there and be ok with that? Erika, NORMAL being, a person who doesn't need toys to be completed. Someone who finds joy in the person she is married to. I love my ME time, but sometimes guilt gets the best of me. Especially when I rush home and get a few minutes without the kids or the husband around. It envigorating and stress relieved all in one! Good name Mr. Anatomy, it's deserving......
ReplyDeleteMS. I LOVE ME
Ms. "I love Me,"
ReplyDeleteI have read what everyone had to offer and I have to second what they have outlined. You should NEVER be afraid of self expression. What makes intimacy pleasurable is the feeling of having all your desires met. Whether you meet those desires alone, or they are met with the help and approval of your husband, your goal is that great feeling that proceeds a deep, coma-like sleep. Talk to your spouse, be open and share your true feeling and don't be afraid to tell the truth!
Mr. Anatomy = Hurchel Williams, MBA
AskMranatomy@anatomyofacheater.com