I wish they all could be "California Girls!" This question defines the differences in cultures and what I would say, "differences in location as well!" My friend from California says, "All I want is a connection with another person! Something rewarding, either "man or woman!" Today's Question is ........
Is it possible to seek a new relationship without a clear direction? I mean, is it just the 21st century or what? All she seeks is a connection! Give me your thoughts. Do you think she will be happy with either a man or a woman or will she lack something that one or the other can provide?
Let's dissect this one bloggers and at the end, (or sometime this weekend) I will have her chime in with her true feelings! Let ME hear ya. She is the "J. Cali" Syndrome. (LMAO)
H. Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Speaker,
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.comhttp://twitter.com/anatomyofacheat
I looked at this question all day before I got the nerve to chime in. I think being with anyone whether man or woman is a choice and when you make those choices, you think of what the other can bring to the table. If you are the same sex, the choices are limited but because you are that sex, you understand those choice better than anyone else. IF you choose a man, your body is better apt to fit together because that is what it was made for. However, If your friend says she merely wants a connection, this speaks volumes as to how she feels about her own ability to make a relationship whole. I think her comment about wanting to "connect" with another speaks to happiness on a level much higher than what physicality can provide. I say be happy lady, and explore whatever possibility shows itself worthy of your company. Promise to keep us posted.
ReplyDeleteAnonymously seeking Happiness too!
Whether connecting flights to destinations; connecting key points; connect clues to a mystery or connecting dots to create a pictograph, making a connection is what we strive for each second of our existence. We look for emotional and physical compatibility to connect with our inner being to achieve that balance and personal growth. For J Cali, what is that connection for you? and what sex would offer 'it' if you will?
ReplyDeleteTo Both of my Previous bloggers, Byron and Anonymous.
ReplyDeleteI brought this question forward because of the uniqueness of the issue. She just seeks happiness through a connection with another. While I don't typically see alternative unions and don't speak on them as an expert, my intent was to open our discussion To see if any further clarity was in the universe prior to asking the focal point of our question to chime in. She has an alluring spirit and I'm curious to know if any aspect of who she is will be compromised once she does finds the right mate. Will she be able to find all she seeks in one, or will there be something or some aspect still left to be desired. Byron broke down the connection of many and played wordsmith with the verbiage, but what lies beneath is what I seek.
Tell me bloggers, what lies beneath?
H. Williams, MBA
Hello All! I am the Cali girl that is being discussed in this blog! I get questioned frequently regarding my equal attraction to both men and women. I only dated men until the age of 29, when I accidentally fell in love with one of my female friends. We had been friends for a few years and one day it just hit me and made me realize that what I was looking for may also be offered to me by a female. It took about 9 months after that to really digest this new found concept/feeling. I went on to marry a woman and am now divorced. Not because of her being a female, but because of us not being compatible. I dated a man for awhile and then a couple of women this year. I am now single again and open to whatever new opportunity comes my way....male or female. I have had awesome connections with both sexes...physically, mentally, and emotionally. I have truly fallen in love with both sexes. I honestly cannot say which sex will satisfy me fully and for the rest of my life. I think it will just depend on the individual. As far as sex is concerned, both satisfy me completely...but in very different ways. Thanks for blogging. I love hearing what others have to say. Feel free to pick my brain. :) --Jessica
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Mind said...
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, relationships usually never go at the same speed. It seems that one person is always ahead and wanting more out of a relationship than the other person.
It seems that so many people over think what might happen and miss the boat. Life is to be enjoyed. If you have a CHEMISTRY with someone than take the risk and give it a try!
I was just out of town and was browsing in shops. I saw a sign on a wall "Love like you have never been hurt before" That is my new motto! Take chances, because you only live once and it could end tomorrow!
Beautiful Mind !!!
Jessica...
ReplyDeleteI must say I admire your courage and your zeal to do what you want in the midst of coming out of relationships that didn't work. I'm encouraged to see people fall off a horse and have to spunk to get back up there and try again, but try a horse of a different ride! In life, we ask too many damn questions on the road to our happiness. Today's lesson is be happy with how YOU want to live your life and don't worry about what others think! You have given those who are afraid to speak, afraid to blog, afraid to express what they want of the unorthodox fashion, a voice. We live in a time where people date people and at times, they have to explain their choices. Jessica, Keep living out loud, the world is listening to your beat!
Thanks for Being our focus! I have decided to let your question run an additional day to give others a chance to see your light!
H. Williams, MBA
Hello Bloggers…. I was asked to check out this site…so here I am. I am not sure which way I want to take this topic…to answer the first question…I would have to say NO.. I believe that you have a clear direction when entering to a relationship. You have to know what you want and what you want to get out of the relationship. Whether male or female…..you have to know the direction you want to go. I moved from California in a relationship with a female and along relationship with a male. I believe that a person can be happy in a same sex relationship and not lack anything. A woman can provide anything that a man can provide.
ReplyDeleteThe first night of class, during introductions there was gentleman that stated he was Calif…..I thought was this a connection???? Well……it was! But it was a complicated situation…He was married with children. When we talked finally, I had to be open and honest because I wanted this man to be a part of my world and what I did in my world. Not only did he become a part of my world but I became a part of his…..a connection!! Moving to what I call a closed mind state was the challenging part for me. There are things that I desire and enjoy and was not sure if I could find it here. But, I did!! I enjoy sex..to me it’s like painting a picture. You have to take your time to get it perfect. Mona Lisa was not created over night…..I have been able to make a connection with some great men and women that have been able to be a part of my world…
To find a woman that can be mature in a lesbian relationship is the hardest thing for me to find where I am at now. I am just getting out of a same sex relationship that was a relationship to hell and back. But, I must say I learned much from that long, drugged out situation…OMG!!!
Overall, having a connection with someone is very important to me and must be with the people that I let into my world!!!!
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI am curious if she is despirately seeking a connection because she can't stand to be alone and needs someone or just would like to have a connection for companionship. To me there is a big difference. The first one in my opinion, is a person that don't truly like themselves so they seek the comforts of others to take the light off themselves so they don't have to look inwardly therefore not having to deal with their own issues. The later is one that has come to terms with themselves, meaning they have gotten to the point that they like who they have become and they are content in any situation rather that be with a companion or solo. They like themselves and enjoy being alone but they also would like to have someone with common interests to do things with. I truly believe that in order to have a healthy relationship with anyone, whether it be friend or lover, you have to first and foremost like yourself. Once you like who you have become then you are able to like others which in turn draw others to you. There is an inner glow that cannot help but shine outwardly. Then when you make that connection you so yern for you won't lose yourself in it because you know who you are and don't have to change to please the other. Relationships are never easy and they usually take years to develop, not over night. I hope you find what you are looking for Jessica. Blessings to you!!!
Alright! Allow me to preface this statement by saying that I am generically an angry dude. I was hoping that this question was going to go away without me having to get involved. But the universe would not have it that way, so here goes. I believe that people overthink their particular situations in general. To even make the statement that you are looking for a "connection", just tends to complicate the entire good time for me. I don't know about all of these spiritual connections and earth shattering experiences. I just know that when I am with someone that I can have a good time with. That understands me, and I understand them. And we take each other at face value and don't try to change them. You just enjoy the time that you spend with that person. That just is what it is. To apply a title of "Connection" just commercializes the entire concept. It is not that hard. You can have a connection with everyone at your job. You can have a connection with everyone in your choir. And I do understand that we are speaking of an interpersonal connection in a relationship. But the rule of the game is to not force it or assume that it exists.
ReplyDeleteAnd I further want to address the concept of the alternative lifestyle. I am not an expert in it by any means. I am completely straight. But I do live in "Atlanta". I have seen both sides of the alternative decisions. And to each his own. People can do whatever it takes to make themselves happy. For a woman, if another woman makes you happy then do what you do to be happy. There is however a double standard, when it comes to men. If that is a choice that you make, even in experimentation....I don't know. That kind of changes things. But don't allow people to judge the decisions that you make. Just enjoy your own life. IT is the only one that you have.