Mr. Anatomy,
I recently got a divorce from my husband after an up and down relationship of 10 years. I loved that man with all I had. I loved him through poverty, I loved him through infidelity, and most of all, I loved him through the loss of his parents which ultimately changed his life for the better. At the end of this relationship, I got all big and bad and demanded a divorce and he reluctantly granted me my wishes. Now, it's been a year and although I have started dating again, and have a full time man, I can't get my ex-husband out of my head. When he comes over to get the kids to take them back to his house with his new lady, I completely breakdown inside. When I make love to my boyfriend, I can't help but see my ex and that helps me complete the task at hand. (LMAO) My Question is.......
Ma'am, there is a song that describes your dilemma, "When you Tryin to Love Two" and that is how I will explain your issue but, I have some more words for you. I have to let my bloggers have you first and I will come back with my advice. Please stay available for any question my bloggers may have. By the way, you are now Ms. "2Love" and we will address you as such!
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
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you cant truely move forward until you let go of your past. i say talk to him and let him know how you feel. it may not have the outcome you want but you will know that you let him know how you really felt. how do you know he doesnt feel the same way
ReplyDeleteMs. 2Love, you did not have enough time to heal after the divorce. It's only been a year since you ended a 10 year relationship and it's normal to still have feelings for your ex. I think you need some time to be alone and not try to jump into anything serious so quick. Belive it or not, you need time to find who you really are and put your thoughts into place. Take it from someone who has been in a similar situation. Maybe not as long as 10 years but something similar.
ReplyDeleteSounds like to me, there are a lot of things happening here:1. During the course of the marriage you were so busy loving him that you didnt love yourself. 2. You were his enabler during the marriage and emotionally and psychologically you became accustomed to being the woman that let someone walk all over her 3. when you left the marriage with an inflated sense of self esteem you didnt reenforce it with counseling/therapy 4. you are in an relationship with a man that value you and dont walk over you but you cant see it because you have trained to identify love as something different 5. dont self destruct and sabbotage your current relationship looking at your past employ the services of a counseling before you wreck your future looking at the wreck that you left behind
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear this! It sounds as if you are suffering from a decision that you made out of self because you felt as if your all was not good enough. Well now you are struggling with consequences. I would advise you to pray! Ask just what you want and need to know! Then, you will be able to live with your decision. You never know what might happen! Oh when I say pray, I mean that shameful acknowledging humbling pow wow prayer: Good luck hun, I hope u find comfort! You and him may need to talk. Idk when, but some kind of discussion is needed. You may find he feels the same way. Don't jump to no conclusions though
ReplyDelete