I have a girlfriend whom I live with. She has one child, he is 8 yrs old. We have been together now for 2 1/2 yrs and she is recently divorced. She has been married twice before. I have never been married. Truth is, I am a sex addict. Every woman I see I visualize sex with them and how it would be..yay or nay. I want to settle down with my girl but something inside me is too lustful. It's like being single, I can't get anyone to mess with, but as soon as I get a girl, I get all this attention. It's like I can't say no. It's hard to find a woman who is a sex addict/freak like me. I seriously want it all the time and I seem to have a more fulfilling sex life when I mess with other women. I know cheating..is wrong but man it's so hard when your woman can't give you certain aspects of sex all that good but she balances it out by being a good woman to you. I know she is trying to get over her 10 yr marriage from her past, but in between time I'm finding my own muse;SEX. I guess my question is:
Sir, I don't claim to be an expert who legitimately deals with addition as you have professed, but I will allow my bloggers to answer your question. From hence forward, I will address you as Mr. "Confused." Please remain availble for any questions my bloggers may have for you and I will give my take a bit later.
Hurchel Williams, MBA
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First, have you talked to your girl about it? In 2 1/2 years has she ever fulfilled your ravenous sexual appetite? If so, why isn't she doing it now? And what constitutes a sex addict? You said when you see women you visualize being with them, shit, who doesn't do that?
ReplyDeleteFrist be completely honest with your self. Are you really in love with her? Now understand Im not asking if you love her but are you in love with her becuse it is a huge diffrence. As Men we could love someone but crave other things but thats only because mentally and emotionaly we not happy with the relationship that we're in. Things puts blocks on our hearts and minds and we cheat to defend our self from being hurt because we're afraid of the pain. Most of us Have a hard time being free with our heart Men and women so we find bullshit to hold on to when we get afraid. Just to know and to have the idea that other.women want us as Men raise our ego and pride level so we can protect our self from being because as Man we cant take the pain. Its crazy because when we do cheat its never a relief it just adds more to the real problem and put more weight on our sholders. So to run from that we try to justify by putting on Some thing else like a sex addiction. Truth is if you was in love with her your mind and heart wouldnt allow you cheat because when your truly in love you dont have time to worry about cheating, because your to Busy being focused on her. Know to be in love with someone means your complete with that person mentally and physically. You crave that perdón not just the sex but the emotional feeling of just being around that person the feeling of pride to have that person in your life. So it cant be just sex urs mental and emotional, so frist cheat yourself then check your relationship. To love someone is a Word of small action to be in love with someone is a honorable life style.
ReplyDeleteExcuse my type's my phone be changing my words on me. but really frist check ur self then check ur relationship, because its more then just sex its mental and emotional
ReplyDeleteBro, you are not alone in this thought process. People are going to try and judge you in this, but stay true to who YOU are. But really, you also have to be fair to the woman that you have in your life. You just can't be out here drillin' everything that's open. They don't all deserve it. Being in a relationship takes sacrifice. And you have to think about it, if she was out doing the same thing you would be hurt. So you don't want to hurt her the same way. Look within your relationship. And if it is REALLY not working for you, then you should let it go. Because as a SINGLE man you can do what AND who you like. But in a relationship you have to consider your partner.
ReplyDeleteWell from a woman's point of view, I have been where you are. Except my spouse has the high sex drive and I do not. I have been married before and this is his first marraige. He is a few years younger than I am as well. His sex drive is where he wants it every day all day and as a wife, mother, fully employed woman sometimes I am just not on that level. We have our spats and of course he gets upset when I don't oblige him all the time but relationships are not just about sex. We have tried other things to do when I am not in the mood and he is. To me its all about compromising. What makes you both happy without cheating.
ReplyDeleteTo the anonymous woman who doesn't want to give it up. Give him some! When ever he wants it. Remember, he doesn't want "it." He wants YOU.
ReplyDeleteWe men need sex and having it with you helps us bond to you. We can get rejected all day long out in the world as long as we have that soft spot in our life where we can let our guard down and be intimate. For a guy, sex is not always all about being horny. We want to be close to our woman-so close that we "become one" with her.
We don't want to cheat. We want a continual intimacy with a special lady.
I get so tired of reading about how "we" made a compromise so she could reject advances. When you reject intimacy from your man, you do damage to your relationship. After a while, a man understand he won't win, he's not in charge, and he has become a beggar in his own home. That's when he goes to look else where.
Spoken from 27 years of marriage, 5 with no sex, 2 as a cheater.