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Mr. Anatomy,
I am a single mom of 2. My children are the most important part of my daily life so dating men has to take a back seat to the care of my babies. I've been divorced from their father for 5 years. I have a man I've been dating for 3 years and we live together. My problem, I seriously think he is cheating on me. As a single mom, a lot of my day is consumed by caring for the children and trying to get some "ME" time from a hard days work but when I do finally wind down, I have time to think and some things I see from my mate just don't add up. I haven't approached him yet, but I am NOT stupid either. Intimacy happens once or twice a month if I push the issue, but otherwise we are just existing. My Question is ........
Do a "Single Mom" just have to shut up and live her life in silence as your man does what he wants if she wants to maintain a relationship?
I had several "single mom" questions in my "QUEUE" and since a majority of them involved dating, I selected the one that represented a piece of what you all were requesting. I like the "Single Mom" questions and will give my opinion after the masses of the BLOG have spoken.......have at it bloggers!
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.com (send US your Questions anonymously)
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Do you feel trapped or that you can't find nobody if you put your mind to it? I date single mothers all the time because y'all are easy to please. #I'm just-saying! Just like your man, we know what's up and what we doing. Since you don't know me, I can say, I have 3 single momma I kick it with. One I live with and the other two know the situation and let me be part-time so they don't have to have strange men around they kids. This been working for 4 years and ain't know change coming. My momma was a single momma and when I was young, she had a part time daddy for us too so it ain't like this is new. You know he cheating, but you don't want to lose what he do for you. The one we stay with is the one that we love the most.
ReplyDeletePerry "Mack" n Detroit
I'm a single mom and I can tell you, you don't have to settle for any man who don't want to treat you right and with respect. I have had several boyfriends, but I always make sure they have their own house because I don't like bringing new people in from of my children. Men will try to use being a single mom against you, but YOU have to make your own rules. Perry Mack, you give men a bad name! Jokers like you are the reason women are insecure and even stressed out with their situation. I hate when men brag about doing wrong. What does that make you, a stud or something. Because your moma didn't protect you from her dances in bed, you became what you saw. Find something new and stop giving advice that glorify your wrong doing.....this not the place. /Tricia
ReplyDeleteHey, looka here, I'm a man and the single moma's is where it's at, but not in a bad way cause I got mad love for them. Single ladies with children show you they mean business when they say, "you can't come to my house unless my kids not here," or "I haven't known you long enough to be kickin it with you just yet!" When you meet a shawty in the club, you always know the new ones and the ones that be out all the time. The new faces are single moms cause they just stole away to meet somebody new. Hey Perry, if you gone hate, man, don't hate on the single momas man, cause if your mistreat her, somebody gone mistreat your lilgirl. I know we gone always do what we do, but when you pickin the shawties to hate on, man, give the single ladies with tha kids a break. You said yo moma was a single moma, you didn't see how hard it wuz on her? Tha Don
ReplyDeleteDear Single Momma,
ReplyDeleteThanks for bringing your question to our forum. Let me just be absolutely honest with you with my assessment of Single Mom's and dating! Single moms are the pinnacle of the dating game of serious men looking for a lady of class. A single mom, in most cases, is very responsible and driven. Why you ask, because they are EVERYTHING to their children. They have to wake up, get dressed and get them dressed, they have to feed them and get them off to school, or arrange someone else to do it. THEN, they have to get to work on time, or arrange with the JOB to be a bit late everyday because of a special situation. NOW THEN, if for any reason, one of the Kiddieos get sick, who comes running, either Single Mom, or Grandma (mother of Single Mom) but in any event, Momma has to stress at work and have a plan in place for the bad days. THEN, if she want to get her some, she has to make sure her kids are bathed, fed, and in bed in a Coma-Like sleep before she can even think about getting some pleasure for self. Soooooo, that is why single Moms are the best people to date. They are NO nonsense and serious about what they give, that's normally true passion and sensual love. (ask me tomorrow to explain that one) They don't have time for games, because guess what, it's starts over again tomorrow! OK, where is the Daddy, doing the easy part (if he is half his weight in Gold) paying child support and hands off. Let Momma do what she do!
Mr. Anatomy = H. Williams, MBA
Single moms have to see the value in themselves before they can ever let someone else see it in them. AND, they have to prepare their kids to do the same!
ReplyDeleteThat's so very true as well!!
DeleteYea as a newly single mom ik its not always easy to get time for you and your lover or to even just get out but you gotta make that time for you. Yea we aren't ones for games bc we have kids to raise w descent morals of life and don't have time for bs... We put a lot into our relationships bc it's a full time job as a mother and we still have wants and desires to fill w a special someone.. And now adays there are men out there as well in the same boat as us
ReplyDeleteDear "Single Mom"
ReplyDeleteYou absolutely DO NOT have to shut up and live in silence as your man does what he wants!!! God gave you a voice for a reason plus gave instructions on how a man is supposed to treat his woman!! As Mr. A said, you need to know your value.
Psalm 139:13-14 says:
13 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
It is important to know that our value comes from God and nowhere else. He created us perfect in His sight. As the above scripture says: His works are marvelous!!! And if you don't respect yourself then no one else will!! I know this from personal experience and a relationship with Jesus is truly the answer!!!
Why would you want to stay in a relationship where you have no voice? That devalues you as a person from the get go. Find your self respect and speak up. If he is willing to attend counseling then try that course of action and if not, send him packing. There are plenty of men out there that would jump at the chance to treat you right. Also, you don't want your children growing up thinking that this is normal behavior in a relationship. You need to break the cycle of that behavior at your generation so your children don't repeat it. How we behave in adulthood stems from what we learned in childhood.
In the book of Ephesians chapter 5 speaks about how the relationship should be between a husband and wife beginning in verse 22. May I suggest you read it and compare it to your relationship you have right now. Hopefully that will give you the incentive to make a wise decision about your relationship. Blessings to you!!!