Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I noticed you don't do your blog as much as you use too but unlike most, I got a serious delimma over here! (smile) I'm kinda dating two guys at the same time. One is a "thug-type" who is sexing me beyond belief. He and I have been friends since high school but nobody truly know that we are more than just friends. He is my handyman around the house, and I rent the other side of his duplex that he owns. Our secret is, he comes over here late at night, to fix more than the pipes. Now, with that said, I have a boyfriend that I truly love and he finances my life to an extent. We have been dating for 2 years, and are on the verge of marriage. On the outside, I am trusted, loving, and a career woman, but my gentleman doesn't do it for me sexually because, he can't fix me like my thug, and he can't "Drill" like him. He surely is not tattooted up with the Timberlands and tank tops either; My question .....
"Is what I'm going through really that unusual? Will I be able to walk away from my "thug" when my
boyfriend pop's the question? "Why or Why Not?"
Ma'am, it has been awhile but we are always here for our bloggers and fanz. I apologize for the absence, but Mr. Anatomy has alot of fires burning but your topic caught my attention so, YES, I will take your question. From hence forward, I will address you as Ms. "Thug Luv" and allow my bloggers to give you their take before I show back up to give you mine. Please remain present for any questions they may have of you.
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
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Hummmm....personally i would leave them both alone and surely wouldnt marry either. Reason is because a critical issue lies with both of them and regardless of who she chooses she will feel an abscene. If u marry the good guy then someday u will still become unfaithful to him and thats bad for both. If u stick with bad boy u will sneak around trying to find someone with financial security. Neither will make u happy at the end of the day Be true to u....u know what u fully desire in a mate....when u decide to get married make sure hes as close to that desire as possible or else it will not work happily
ReplyDeleteMight as well gon do what you know u gon do and that is marry the money man and keep screwing the thug !!! Period point blank!! Reality is where I live!!! It ain't right but it's what you gon do.
ReplyDeleteBut u cant look for finacial stability n sum1 else. An no i dont think she should marry tha guy if she cant b faithful n tha present with marriage on her mind. Her handy man might ultimately b tha one she should b with. I say find tha excitement an roll that way. Money isnt everything. Sum people with less r more thankful an b tha ones that make life fun ta live til tha dyin day. It jus depends on how she wants her future ta turn out. Make a check list. But i will say that u should never leave tha person u love for tha one u like. Karma will get u every time.
ReplyDeleteI say marry the one that loves you. Life is funny baby, there may come a time in your life when you cant the "pipe" and you want someone who will or can take care of you in other ways other than sex. If you chose to stay and marry the boyfriend, you should be able to express your needs sexually to him, get some toys and things, YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO to enhance your sex life. You never know what experiment, position, or move that will blow your mind until you try it. Good Luck gurl!
ReplyDeleteI really want to thank you all for helping me sort through my feelings. My "Thug" has never wanted to date me, we just started doing the "nasty" one day, and never stopped. When I first got with my boyfriend, my Thug came over in his boxers, boots, and a tank top one night because the power was out and fixed the fuse box. When he finished, he asked me are we still on, or are you gonna be faithful. Honestly, everything in me wanted to be faithful, but my body said something else. Every since then, we have been sneaking under the cover of darkness and secrecy. I will be the first to tell you, I am WRONG, but wrong feels so damn good. My thug is NOT educated, don't even speak right, and was in jail for most of his early years of adulthood, but he tries so hard, and does odd jobs to make it. He has a mobile car wash and is a good guy. My boyfriend makes fun of him because he stutters but I laugh inside and say to myself, "he don't have to talk to please this! You could learn a few things!" Sherita, what you said is how I feel, but it ain't right. Erika, I refuse to be without either one, and Fallon, have you ever been married? Well, I have, and financial stability is the bases of a good relationship. Precious...... boyfriend does love me... so that might just be tha ticket girl! Mr. Anatomy.... Ms. Thug Luv is right..... Wooooo wee!
ReplyDeleteYou should stop lying to yourself about this situation. It is really NOT hard. You are not ready for a one on one relationship. Be honest with this good man and afford him the opportunity to decide if he wants to be in an open relationship (where everyone is just doing the deed with whomever sets their crotch on fire). Even if you dont believe it, you both deserve better than what you are putting out.
ReplyDeleteGirl, yes it is common. But in the words of TTG,,"Sex ain't better than love" It's not a hard decision, take and reevaluate your situation and future. We are our on critics. You know what is best
ReplyDeleteif you marry a man/woman and they dont f**k you the way you need to be f**cked then youll either be unhappy with your marriage and will most likely at sum point n time step out of it...why people marry for money is sumthin that I just dont understand, marry for LOVE...maybe neither one of these men are right for you, maybe just maybe there's another plan that God has for you...the Bible tells us to "follow our hearts", it doesnt say NOTHIN bout following the man/woman with the biggest bank account...financial security means different things to different people, im content with the basic necessities, sum want the lifestyle they see on tv...sum good d**k will have you thinkin youre in heaven but if thats all hes got then cut that dude loose, know your worth and make the choice that makes YOU happy....#pray about it
ReplyDeleteI'm curious about how Ms. Thug Luv would feel if her boyfriend was wearing her shoes. Humm?
ReplyDeleteikr...probably not too good...seems to me like ALOT of people these days have one set of rules for themselves and another set for the other fella....
ReplyDeleteDear Ms. Thug-Luv,
ReplyDeleteTypically, I don't chime in this early, but I saw a need to kinda set things straight before they go too far left. In my heavy cheating years, this is one thing that is so simple, but few ever consider..... If you can't share what you are doing with others, or look yourself in the mirror the next day, your actions are probably NOT worth it! Right now, your "Thug" is giving you short term pleasure that won't last a life time. Think of it as a savings account that doesn't save anything. However, your boyfriend, who you say is about to POP the question is offering long term Love, Stability, and Peace within! Remember, sex is just a physical act of togetherness that typically last, on average, 22.5 minutes each session, but having someone to call your own, and be honest with, well, that is PRICELESS. Consider your actions next time you take a stroll with the Thug. I am sure it feels great, but is it worth your soul and the loss of another?
Mr. Anatomy = H. Williams, MBA
Ok Mr.A I have to disagree...I am happily married and have been for years my husband is my everything,I had a friend premarriage that has the skills in bed that no one and I mean no one can live up to....I tried to stay away from him when I first got married but you know how that goes..i kept this relationship a secret and continued to sneak here and there for my fix but it never interfered with my marriage...still happy married ,i take good care of my husband have not had a fix in years...but it's coming soon....so yes it can happen
ReplyDelete..ijs....don't judge me!
Live by Mr. A's adults do what adults want to do!
ReplyDeleteAlright, Mr.Williams, Nice advise
ReplyDeleteYou are not going to hell for cheating. But you will deal with so much heartache that you will feel like you are in hell. You must believe in the Heavenly Father / Christ. To make it to heaven. That being said there are repercussions to our sins. That's all sins. So for all of you that haven't sin then throw the stone. That means lying, bite biting, jealousy, lusting, you know the rest. God know what you are going to do before you do it. Just remember when you were little, momma would whip that ass when she told you don't do something before you did. She knew you were going to do it before you did it. So God works the same with love and mercy. You will be asking Him to have mercy on you when your pain of sin hit you hard. So if you play make sure you are a big girl for the pain!! Good luck with that.
ReplyDeletePs know from self experience. This is my second marriage. Know what you are doing. It's like pandora box after you get married.
ReplyDeleteYou are probably right Lena.....! I am probably missing some blessings by continuing my antics but why does life have to be so serious. In this life, do we ever find everything under one roof, or with the same person? If you saw me, you would NEVER believe this is the life I chose for myself, but at the end of the day, I just want to be fulfilled. I needed to hear what you all are saying and I KNOW I am wrong. Mr. Anatomy, you made the comment, "In my heavy cheating years!" So are you saying eventually you stopped, or people can stop? Can you expound on what your change was and what made you give up the physical pleasure for the normal way of life?
ReplyDeleteMs. Thug Luv
Well i will openly say i was a cheater and at this point i have discontinued cheating because thats not the wife i wanted to offer someone. Regardless of the wrongs my husband did to push me to this point...deep inside i wanted to do it. How the hell do u call it getting revenge when the other person dont know what ur doing. I enjoyed every touch, stroke, taste and all but damn sure didnt like the way i felt inside. But will i cheat again....YES I WOULD. As soon as i know he has cheated again. Lol yep wrong as hell ...... One thing i noticed is my husband is the best ive ever experienced sexually on a physical standpoint but i enjoyed the attention and the ego boost from the other men. Watching how i made them go crazy about me sexually was indeed what brought me to climax....not their sex
ReplyDeleteWhy is everyone assuming that the thug is an option. I've been both of these guys the Financier and the Maintenance Man and still have both hats in my closet. That means that the thug is getting everything he wants, rent from the boyfriend and sex from her. WHAT FOOL WOULD MESS THAT UP? If the thug wanted more I'm sure he would move her in with him and rent the other side to someone else. Remember he's the landlord!
ReplyDeleteAnd that SILLY ASS, CHILDISH boyfriend making fun of the man's speech impediment while he smashing your girl. NO SHE'S GETTING ALL THAT SHE'S GOING TO GET.
I agree with u Eddie Thomas he is quite intimidated because he can pick up that shes attracted to him. They may think they have a secret and for now they do but one day something is going to step out of the closet. And with saying that...THUGS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. Whos to say he wont react to the marriage and put it all out on the table
ReplyDeleteMarriage ain't for everybody monogamy ain't for everybody. Besides WHO GON CHECK YOU BOO??? I'm so tired of folks tryin to put folks in heaven or hell ( which is still debatable) do wat makes you happy. If you wanted to be a one man one husband kinda woman then that is way you would be, live ya life girl !
ReplyDeleteyes live your life but dont do it at another's expence... cheating isnt right, anyone who cheats in my opinion is basicly living a lie, I been on both ends my self and there will come a time if you are a god fearing man or woman that youll have to ask for forgiveness from god, we all know he will forgive us but the hard part is forgiving yourself... Shit the "gentleman" may just need sum sex tips and instruction on how she likes to be f*cked and if hes teachable then ol girl can kick the thug to the curb and she can get the financial security she so despritely desires AND the sex she needs all in one man...
ReplyDeleteDear Ms. Thug Luv,
ReplyDeleteIn reference to your question to me..... I have an answer for you, but first, let me address something else you said. Your look has nothing to do with what people see. It's how you see yourself that's important. Now, for me, YES, cheating is a thing of my past. Let's first clarify what cheating is: To deceive by trickery; swindle. Well, I choose not to make the decisions I made in the past, for my life now. Everyone changes, but as a wise friend once said to me, it takes a "heartfelt" change, something that has the potential to be life altering. Something LIFE Altering changed my life and I opened my eyes to those around me that I hurt because of my actions. I lost someone close and not just in the physical, ...! Book 2 will reveal all of my change and 3 my redemption.
Mr. Anatomy = Hurchel Williams, MBA
Ok how about this. Im about to tell on myself now. I havent cheated all year because i promised him and self that not another person will touch me as long as i know hes not cheating. Last week i set eyes on someone i was instantly physically attracted to and with just that attraction i wouldnt have lusted for him BUT when we started talking we were compatible mentally from what i could tell and this made him even more attractive. I went on my way knowing that if he had called me, texted me or made any form of contact that day i would have jumped up and been intimate with him JUST GOIN WITH THE FLOW. But saying damn my promise to my husband. Point is....the lust that i carried and still do for that guy is just as wicked as the act itself. No way in hell can u control who u desire but u can control ur actions everytime.
ReplyDeleteSo if all parties involved are aware of your actions does that mean you are no longer cheating ? Yes Mr.A you still have that lasting effect on me....
ReplyDeleteBeen there done that, before I met my wife. The issue has nothing to do with whose better in bed or has a fatter wallet. The issue is selfishness. There is no such thing as the perfect person. They don't exist, only in our minds they do, in the reality of it all, our mind develops a separate reality of the money, cars, clothes, and yes that wet stuff. In turn living in fantasy land distorts the reality of that your building your future (marriage/love life/ whatever you call it) on sand. At the end of day that d***** gon go limp, that money will disappear, and you will be without both. Find you some concrete to build you a future.
ReplyDeleteex playa