The Anatomy Of A Cheater

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Do We Ever Truly know Who we are Dating? Question of the Day ...

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Mr. Anatomy,
I have a question about relationships. I have been in an open relationship with a friend for about 5 years, but the last year or so, we have been completely committed to one another. I am an independent female, so it took me that long to trust enough to go further. Well, he has two children from a previous relationship in a different state that I was aware of. In late 2010, I was told about a 3rd child produced while we were "kickin it" in our open relationship, here where we live. While I was pissed because of the delayed information, we got passed that, and entered our committed relationship. Things have been great until lightning just struck again. He just dropped another child on me! The child is the exact same age as child # 3 and he knew about this child 6 months after it was born, but I found out the "other day!" My question is .........

"What is a woman to do with all of this deception? Typically, our relationship is sound, but "whyTF" does negative information from the past keep creeping into our lives?"

Ma'am, I must say, you have quite the "man" opposite of you. While trust, commitment, and honesty should go without saying, you two need to have a "come clean" conversation; and soon! From hence forward, you will be addressed as Ms. Understood and I will give you my opinion once my bloggers have had a chance to chime in. Please remain available for any questions the forum may have of you.

Hurchel Williams, MBA

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.com (send US your Questions anonymously)
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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

"Should I let the World Know? - Our Question of the Day.....

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Mr. Anatomy,
This question has the power to shut this BLOG down with the type of shame my husband has brought to himself and our marriage. I live in (NOT Gonna Say it) and I went to New Orleans for Essence Fest last month. As you may or may not know, this is a weekend event of nothing but fun with my girls from college. Unfortunately, after getting there on Thursday and enjoying the festivities on Friday, I got really sick and had to fly home early. I called my husband several times Saturday before I flew home, but I got no answer because he typically counsels at the church on Saturday. Well, I got to the airport, caught a shuttle home to a really dark house. When I walked in, I heard some music coming from the bedroom. I figured my husband must have gotten my message and was trying to surprise me after all I had been through. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case at all! I walked in on my husband in bed with a big, thick, musclebound MAN. They were engaged in an act I care not to share in detail but let's just say there was a six, and there was a nine involved in the sequence. Bloggers, my husband is an Associate Pastor and the brother that was there with him was his co-worker and department head. I've been to counseling since this happened but I'm afraid I can't get passed what I saw no matter how he tells me that was a one time occurrence. My Question is .....

 "Do I expose what I have carried since the weekend after the forth of July, or do I let the pastor, who speaks out against gays and lesbians keep his secret desires hidden?" 

Ma'am, I must say, this is a strong topic to come back from my short vacation with. Let me tell you this, this topic will be very explosive so be prepared for the type of anger and responses that you might hear based on the enormity of the subject. From hence forward, I will address you as Ms. "Shocked" and will ask that you please stay available for any questions my bloggers may have.

Hurchel Williams, MBA

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

:: ANATOMY OF A CHEATER PROMO ::

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

"My Mom has a YOUNGER Man" Our Question of the Day

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Mr. Anatomy,
Please help me with my situation. I am not attempting to sound like an overbearing, over protective daughter, but my mom is dating a guy my age. I am 36 years old and one of 3 children she has. My mom is turning 60 in a month but her younger beau is 34. It started out as a professional relationship with a local radio personality on the gospel radio station. She is our church representative and coordinates all the interaction between the church and the station. I don't know how that relationship escalated but last week, she brought that "baby" to church and that was the last straw! People were asking if it was her nephew or something, and she politely said "No, he's my boyfriend!" I almost fell off the pew. My Question is.......

"What do I do to get my mom to date guys her own age. She is running around like a 25 year old, loose and free. I want her happy, but not with a baby!"  

Ma'am, I thank you for bringing your question to our forum. While it's a matter of the heart, I am trying to figure who's heart is involved here. From hence forward, I will refer to you as Ms. Concerned Daughter and attempt to sort through the facts while my bloggers offer insight into your dilemma. Please remain available for any questions my bloggers may have.

Hurchel Williams, MBA

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.

Monday, July 23, 2012

"What is NOT being Said?" .....Our Question of the Day ??

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Mr. Anatomy,

I've been dating my boyfriend for about 3 months now and while it hasn't gotten totally serious, in my heart, I feel it's heading that way. He is saying all the right things and has been a complete gentleman along the way. Since I just moved to the Jacksonville, FL area from Texas, I truly can't verify anything about him or his past. We met at work, and I can't help but wonder why everyone has told me to be careful with this relationship without elaborating. We work for the same company, but in different departments. He talks about his last girlfriend as if she ruined his life and he totally hates her. My question is.....

"When a man talks negatively about their last girlfriend or "fiance'" what does that say about him?"

Ms. "Inquisitive" as I will refer to you from this point forward, you have a real question that deserves an answer. Often times men can give you a peek into who they are just by speaking about their past. Before I render judgement, I will give my bloggers the opportunity to chime in first. Please remain available for any questions my bloggers may have.

Hurchel Williams, MBA

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

UPDATE To "If Leaving YOU is Wrong what's Right," Jun 28, 2012

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Many people have asked about the outcome from 28 Jun 2012. So I reached out via email to the lady in the blog, and I was given the following information:
Mr. Anatomy,
I picked my (ex) husband up from (Not Gonna Say it) prison and started to drive home. He had requested we get a room close to the prison, but I declined citing our son would be with me. When he was released, the conversation quickly went to how much he missed touching me, and how he wanted to immediately get to having another child. Like you requested, Mr. Anatomy, I waited until we were half way home to initiate the conversation about us not being together anymore. Although I told him we weren't married anymore, he first acted as if he didn't hear me because he said it was impossible to get a divorce without him signing it. Because I didn't want to rub it in his face, I took the high road, and continued to confess my love, but how I just wasn't "in love" with him anymore! After finally acknowledging what I said, he asked me if there was someone else. I told him yes, but that wasn't the reason I got the divorce. I told him it was because I was lonely and afraid about the future. He screamed and yelled the whole way to the halfway house. My original plan was to take him to the house and show him how I maintained it in his absence, but after all the screaming, I turned him in a whole 6 hours early. He slammed the door and broke the window to my car. He wants to know who the other man is I am now seeing. My Question this now is........

"Under the circumstances, was there any other way to say to him, what needed to be said? I feel so bad, but do I have to tell him who the other guy is? He knows the church and the minister and I don't want there to be any trouble!"

Sorry to see your car window in shambles, but think about it, it could have been worst. Based on what you have shared, I think things went rather smooth. I have some questions about your future, but lets first allow our bloggers to chime in on your ongoing saga. Please remain available for any questions my bloggers may have.

Hurchel Williams, MBA

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.

Friday, July 13, 2012

"Who ARE You" .....Our Weekend Mind Puzzler for the Day

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Mr. Anatomy,
I have a really quick question that holds true for so many. While looking in the eyes of my significant other, I saw her dedication to make me feel better in so many ways. I saw her passion to hold me and protect me in ways others haven't. I saw the true desire for someone to love another more than they love thyself. Whether intimacy, friendly joking, or simply comforting me through touch; Come on People, let's talk about if you have ever had that someone. My question to her was ..........

"Who Are You?" Am I dreaming, or is this just a season and maybe this type of admiration will change? Tell me Mr. Anatomy, is this real?

Sir, I will pose this question to the masses on my blog. In life, we do find someone we are compatible with, but well, let's just hold off on that response until my bloggers have spoken. I like what you have started Mr. Sensitive! Let's have fun with this one!

Artwork by: http://www.theartworkofdeapaige.com/

Hurchel Williams, MBA

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

"Why Does He get angry and Hit Me?" .... Question of the Day

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Mr. Anatomy,
I am not sure if you keep information on your attendees, but on March 19 of 2011, I attended your seminar for professors and college chairs at (not gonna say it) University. Your seminar was on infidelity, sex and relationships. During that seminar, you spoke about abusive relationships and how they can be closely related to the inadequacies of a man to please his mate. You said their is an association between a woman's high sex drive and the anger of the man who can't please her. At that time, my relationship was still fresh and new, but here lately, something has happened to make me reach out to you, and ask that you expound on what you were saying. I'm Asian and I spent a few minutes after the seminar speaking to you about my husband's lack of association with sex and pleasure. My new husband seems to want to get upset with me when I don't react the way he feels I should during intercourse. My Question is ......

"Is there something I can do to keep my new husband calm and give him the control he needs in bed?"

I do remember you and your name. I keep notes and even the questions I'm asked and who ask them. I use the questions later for follow up research. I am so happy you have found your way to our blog site, just sorry you found us on these circumstances. I will refer to you from hence forward as Ms. "Professor." I will expound on my thoughts but only after my bloggers have a chance to chime in. Please remain available for the next few days to answer any questions our bloggers may have of you.

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

"Momma's Baby....Papa; hmmm, Maybe?" Our Question of the Day!

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Mr. Anatomy,
I have a dilemma that will probably threaten the security of my marriage. Life has a way of coming back to haunt you when you least expect it to. I'm in the U.S. Army and about 11 years ago, I was stationed in Germany with my husband of 2 years at that time. My husband was deployed for about 6 months training with a joint services unit. Well, in his absence, I strayed just a bit and had an affair with a fellow soldier. There truly wasn't much to the relationship, we were just casual friends that had a few too many drinks one evening and sex started and didn't stop until days before my husband returned. Since then, I have been faithful and asked God to forgive my past transgressions. Our life has been nothing short of perfect. Problem is, I have a ten year old son, and I now live in Ft. (not gonna say it) GA. The friend that I screwed around with has resurfaced and is requesting a paternity test to prove my son is not his child! I conceived my son around the time my husband returned, or maybe days before! :( My Question is .................

Artwork by: http://www.theartworkofdeapaige.com/

"How on earth do I tell my husband about this request when he knew nothing of the relationship? Do I try to hide it, and pray my son is not the other man's son, or do I come clean, right NOW?"

Ma'am, I must say, you have quite the quandary. For this question, I must take a step back and review the facts much closer. In the meantime, I will address you as Ms. "Paternity" from hence forward, and allow our bloggers to open this discussion as usual. Please remain available to answer any questions my bloggers may have of you.

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.

Monday, July 2, 2012

"Update .... Temptation is Testing Me" - From January 30, 2012

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Mr. Anatomy, http://theanatomyofacheater.blogspot.com/2012/01/mr.html#comment-form

(Please Use Link Above to Access Original Question)

Do you Remember me, "Tempted and Willing?" I was your blog question on January 30, 2012. I was just a lonely woman at home who wasn't getting her fill of what she needed, so I toyed around with the "Young Gun" from the mail room! Well, it's June now and a lot has changed. My husband and I are divorced. I got the house, my car, and half of most of our possessions. It was a reasonable split and it didn't get nasty. My husband had a secret life that was revealed in court and me and my youngster turned up the heat a bit. I have also been promoted to Vice President and I pulled "Young Gun" out of the mail room as he is now a "Young Executive" and doing well. I've asked him to move in several times, but his answer is the same, "Your husband is the (not gonna say it) and that is still scary for me!" My Question is.....

"Can a woman Propose Marriage to a guy?" It is the 21st Century and I think "Young Gun" is a bit intimidated by my success and power; not to mention, feeling compared to my former husband!

Ms. Tempted and Willing, I remember you, oh boy do I remember you! I don't know whether to congratulate you or just hold my breath for the rest of the ride. Happiness comes in many different forms and you seem to have found what best suits you. I will allow my bloggers to address you first, then I will render my opinion. As always, stay available for any questions that may arise.

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

"If Leaving YOU is Wrong what's Right,"...Our Question of the Day!!

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Mr. Anatomy,
I have a dilemma and after reading some of your past post, I am almost certain you and your bloggers can help me understand the direction I should take. I am dating one of the Ministers from my church and things have gotten pretty serious. He was there for me when my husband received a Federal charge about 8 years ago and had to go away. My husband took a charge for our family owned daycare, and didn't take me or my sisters through the process. He decided the "buck" would stop with him. I have been visiting him twice a month since he's been gone. What he doesn't know is I have divorced him because I didn't think it was right to date and still be a married woman. The Minister and I are madly in love, but I don't want to be seen as a wife that lost love for her husband, but 7 years has passed and I just don't have that love I once did. I have been struggling with how to tell him this for the past 2 years, but I can't procrastinate any longer. I pick him up next Thursday to take him to our local halfway house. My Question is .......

"How do I tell my ex-husband I have moved on and don't want to be married to him any longer? He and I will always be friends and share our son who is now 10."

Ma'am, first and foremost, thanks for bringing your question to our Forum. Now, while I never judge and always keep my answers above board, I have to prepare you for the direction my bloggers my take. They are a pretty vocal bunch and things tend to get opinionated. With that said, I will address you as Ms. "Confused" from hence forward. Please remain available to answer any questions my bloggers may have.

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

"The KIDS and Baby Moma OR Me!" Our Question of the Day

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Mr. Anatomy,
I need your help, and in the worst way. I have accepted my boyfriend's proposal for marriage and that is supposed to be a good thing, but I have one slight problem; that damn baby-moma and those bad ass kids! When we were dating I just tolerated the kids and the constant calls from the "Dragon-EX" but now, since he has asked for my hand in marriage, I am seriously having second thoughts. Everything his kids do, he thinks it's funny, and I am annoyed! His son (6) put ants in my car, under my mat and as I was driving I was being bit. His daughter (8) poured all of my shampoo out of my bottle and replaced it with Liquid Tide for washing clothes. The "Dragon-EX" lives around the corner and it seems every time I am visiting, the kids just kinda show up with her knocking at the damn door! I feel Like I'm hangin out with the Boondock's kids, Riley and Huey! My Question is.........

"How do I handle this unfortunate situation? I think I "hate" his kids and he won't take my feelings serious. He is laughing with them, but the sh*t ain't funny!"

Ma'am, first and foremost, let me thank you for bringing your situation to our forum. While unique to you, I can assure you, you are not alone in your quest to break your man away from his past. From hence forward, I will address you as Ms. "Tortured" and try to find a solution to your problem. First, let's see what our bloggers have to say, then I will give you my opinion. Please stay available for any questions my bloggers may have of you.

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Will My "HOUSE be a HOME?" Our Blog Question of the Weekend !

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Mr. Anatomy,

I know you have probably answered this question 1000 times but I want to relate it to my unique situation. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 years and on Monday we close on our house and become permanent residents together. My mom is livid and is telling me NOT to move in with him unless he puts a ring on my finger. I feel by moving in with him, he will marry me and it's really not that big of a deal because we are in love. I'm 27 and my boyfriend is 42. He had a nasty divorce so he is very touchy about marriage and I understand. My Question is....

Is there any reason I shouldn't move ahead with the plans we have for the rest of our lives?

I have answered this question before, but not here in this forum, I have tackled it live in my seminars and counseling sessions. So, actually, I look forward to hearing the feedback of my bloggers prior to answering the question myself. From hence forward, I will address you as Ms. Understanding! Please remain available for any questions our bloggers my have for you.

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

THE "FLOAT ON" ANATOMY BOOK LAUNCH CRUISE

Please visit www.anatomyofacheater.com, click on the " CRUISE " tab.
Download and print your form and email it to the email address provided!! See you soon!!!!!

Monday, June 18, 2012

"To Lie or NOT to Lie" That is the Question ..... of the Day!!

Mr. Anatomy,
I have a slight problem that I sure hope you are able to help me with. My husband is 11 years older than me and our sex life has taken a turn towards boredom. I still love and adore him because he gives me so much more than just physical attention, but sometimes my body is left lacking what it needs to complete a intimacy session. It is so routine, the other night, I fell asleep during the act. I purchased a toy to assist with my problem on my own time. My husband is adamantly against the use of toys so when he found it still in the package in my hiding spot, I told him I had purchased it as a gag gift for a friend at work. My question is:

"How do I reverse the lie I told to my husband and make him understand why I need assistance to feel like a woman should?"

As always, we appreciate you bringing your issue to our forum. From hence forward, we will address you as Ms. Unsatisfied. While I have an opinion, I will allow our bloggers to speak first and offer their opinions before I express my feelings toward your situation. Please remain available for any question our bloggers may have for you.

Hurchel Williams, MBA

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Simple Question for the Weekend ....... Why do Men and Women Cheat?

To Comment on today's Question, Simply click on the word "Comments" below next to the number of comments and then, type in the white box!
Since I am asked this question on a regular basis....... let's explore it as a group and as a forum! Not here to judge, just Explore!!

"Why do "PEOPLE" cheat on each other while in a relationship? If you have every cheated, tell us Why?"

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

If the "Franchise" of Anatomy of a Cheater took a Cruise, are you In?

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Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

"Whose House......Grandma's HOUSE" * Our Question of the Day *

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Mr. Anatomy,
I saw what happened over the weekend on your blog and I thought I would resubmit my question I sent to you over a month ago. I currently live with my grandmother because she is aging and she needs assistance caring for herself around the clock. I have a boyfriend of 6 months and recently we took our relationship to another level. So far, everything is good because we were friends first. He comes over very late and typically is gone before grandma wakes up. The other night, while having "relations" with my boyfriend, we were startled by grandma standing in the doorway with the bible in her hand praying for the sinful act (as she stated) that I was performing. I have never been so embarrassed.
My Question is .......
"How do I co-exist in the house with an aging Grandma and still have a life of my own involving intimacy?"

First and foremost, I apologize for the delay in posting your question but our success has created a very unique problem; we have more questions than days of the week. We select the best possible topic depending on the trend of our bloggers. From hence forward, I will refer to you as Ms. "Late Night" to refer to the time period you said you spend with your man. As always, I will allow the bloggers to respond first before giving you my advice on how to co-exist with Grandma. Please remain available for any question posed by the bloggers. Enjoy !

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Good Sex or Routine Touching...? Fri - Sat - Sun - Question of the Day

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Mr. Anatomy,
I read somewhere where some of your talents include relationship counseling and sex therapy. When I saw that report and read some of the questions your followers asked, I let my guard down as a man, to find out the fundamental things that make a woman curl her toes. My girl and I have been dating for 5 years and we are committed to one another but when we make love, I can't help but feel like it's routine and we have both become complacent with trying to make it better. She and I don't talk about it but I know I have lost some of the magic from years ago. My Question is ........

"How do you truly know your woman is being pleased during sexual intercourse? What can I do to assure a positive sexual relationship long into the future?"

The Franchise of Anatomy of a Cheater takes great pride in helping the masses find the best of who they are and then pull it to the forefront of who a person may become. Yes, as you have outlined, sexual therapy and counseling is one of the services that I incorporate under my umbrella. From hence forward, I will address you as Mr. "Man-Answers" and give you my full attention once our bloggers have had an opportunity to offer their opinions. Please remain available for 3 days to any question our forum may have.

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

"Three's Company, Four is Comfort!" Tues- Wed- Thurs - Question of the Day...

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Mr. Anatomy,
Since I have been a dedicated blogger since the very beginning of your successful "blog launch" can I please move to the front of the Question line .......(smiling big)! OK.... here we go.... So my guy and I are considering a threesome. He has a female in mind but oddly enough, I would feel more comfortable if I could invite another man and make it a foursome. (No guy on guy action though!) My Question is .....

"How do I approach my guy with my new idea for our endeavor to make me more comfortable?"

First and foremost, thank you for bringing your question to our forum. From this point forward, I will address you as Ms. "Seduction! I will surely give your question the consideration it deserves but prior to doing so, I will allow my bloggers to chime in as always. I must say, as a disclaimer, "while we don't condone all of the actions of fanz who submit questions, we do actively seek questions that are personal to each individual" for a better, well rounded understanding. Please make yourself available for any questions our forum may have of you!

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.