Mr. Anatomy,
My heart is aching over this decision. After speaking with other women, I realized I am not the only one going through something with my soon to be husband; or maybe NOT! His "man part" is really small and he is a 15 second man, I am not an oral person so I am just frustrated! He is such a good man and excellent provider; My Question is .......
What do I do regarding my future with him if satisfaction can't be achieved?
To my bloggers, I struggled over whether or not to put this question up in its present state. I do have my opinion on this question, but I will first let our bloggers ponder it before I render my response. Share your heart with the blog!
Hurchel (Mr. Anatomy) Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker,
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.com (send your Questions)
http://twitter.com/anatomyofacheat (follow US)
http://www.cafepress.com/anatomyofacheater (purchase Anatomy of a Cheater Merchandise)
Wow that's a hard one....I honestly could not be with a man that could not sexually satisfy me even if he is a good man at some point I would seek my needs elsewhere....sex is key part of being human
ReplyDeleteJacklyn, thanks for your insight. This lady is really in a pickle, but any advice offered will be greatly appreciated!
ReplyDeleteHmmm ima keep watchin this thread !
ReplyDeleteMe too, where is Kimberly Michelle when you need her????
ReplyDeletePickle you say. Hmmm Pun intended or no? :) Well I would think that if you are not satisfied with the pickle to begin with then eventually you will be looking at the other jars that are available and end up choosing one to try them out. I am with Jacklyn. If I knew up front that it was not going to be satisfying then I would have to put that pickle back in its vat and move on. Unless she thinks that love can conquer all in this case, I would say think long and hard before entering into a long commitment with the gentleman. If she is not willing to try other means to get satisfied then it sounds like it may be a no win situation.
ReplyDeleteI'm at the doctor, when I get home, I will check into the topic.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to my comment above, I think she would be wise to seek out a professional sex therapist.
ReplyDeleteI really couldn't be with person who I couldn't get satisfaction from. But if it was to to happen he would have to have a BAD ASS mouth piece and we would have to venture in other ways. Meaning we would have a sex toy collection out of this world. I know you say your not an oral person but if this person is going to become your husband and you really love him you would do whatever it took to make you and him happy. I'm sure you wouldn't have to give oral but you can get oral since your not getting achievement from his "man part". But again I couldn't be with a person who couldn't get satisfaction from.
ReplyDeleteTo all,
ReplyDeleteThank you for making our first day of discussions interesting. Along the road to who I have become, I have had discussions with male counterparts with smaller "man parts" than most. What I have been told is, they compensate in so many other area for their lack of size. When I questioned them direct, and asked, "has anyone ever commented on your size or their lack of, the answer was NO. So, with that said, I am sure you haven't told him, right Ma'am? Granted, a man with a small one knows he's small, but if you haven't expressed there being a problem, then you are doing him a huge dis-service. You have to express your concerns in an open forum. Let him know what your issues and doubts are because if you don't, and continue at the pace you are, you are setting yourself up for a life of unfulfilled physical and emotional disappointment! We all know sex is an important cog on the wheel of life, but my experiences have taught me, you have to reach people on much deeper levels. Trust me, I know a thing a two about relationships and the road to happiness! Again, Thanks, let's run some more with this one!
H. Williams, MBA
Ok...I want to share this....I have a small one too, but no one told me it was a problem. Yes...its true. Since the topic is about a marital and sexual decision I will stick to the topic...if you had not expressed this to your mate, then how will he improve? Sexual stamina comes from repetition and familiarity with your mate. Most outside lovers are in sexual shape because they have multiple sex partners and empty sacks by the time they reach the seeker. Therefore leading to lasting pleasure. If you love him, talk with him and seek his opinion before you marry and cheat on him with 'Dexter St. Jacque' with the inches. I would rather you let him go and be with someone who is going to love and accept him as Christ accepts us. He is s good man, but missing the big one. Sex is important, but be honest with yourself and spare his pain. He'll hurt for a spell, but as it says in the good book, "thy truth shall set you free". This marriage will be based upon his hook being a good provider, but a bad lover which are conditions. Therefore I question your love for him in GODs' eyes because we as human have flaws when it comes to being honest. How would you feel if he judged you on your sexual creativity and anatomy of your body? Let him go and find your Adonis who will give you the sex you want, but also have you miserable sharing it with other women if you can't satisfy him. I assume you are between 25-30 years old and still experiencing life, but I feel this gentlemen deserves the truth and be happy with someone who will love him unconditional. If you're not going to be his help mate and teach him, please
ReplyDeletelet him go before you hurt him.
Byron,
ReplyDeleteHere's a toast to you. I raise my glass for the short cocks of the world and applaud you! You just made it much easier for me to be honest about my own personal shortcomings. I have been reading this blog for weeks and not until now have I been drawn to speak out proudly. I have a less than stellar size "man tool" as well but I have always been able to get the job done. While my wife has grown to accept it, I knew she had a issue with it when we met in college, and she smiled as she tried to guide me in. She said, "You have a little fella!" We made it a joke as I returned, "yeah, I stayed in the brains line too long and the big cocks were all gone!" It was 28 years ago on Valentines Day, we first made love in her college dorm room at Spelman in Atlanta. We were trying to keep quiet like two teenagers. While I wasn't able to rock her world, I did steal her mind and respect! People, as I age, I can honestly say, there is more to life than carrying 11 inches of pipe everywhere you go. Expand your relationship mind, just as your 'tool' does when passionate, and see where life takes you. Byron, like you, I have found other ways to be rewarding to my mate! Thanks for being a voice for us guys people think can't get it done. Trust me, Everybody's not 6 ft tall with 7 to 10 inches to boot! I am a Chairman and CEO ....... would love to tell you where, but just know wife is Happy! Lady who the blog is about, tell him your feelings and then teach HIM how to LOVE you, I'm living proof, the little guy can sail the ship and have the "Homecoming Queen too!" Question, you said "I am NOT an Oral Person!" was that giving or receiving?
Can you say TOY STORE? WHY WOULD WALK AWAY BECAUSE OF A SMALL MEMBER? U MIGHT END UP WITH A MAN THAT HAS IT DOWN THERE AND NOTHING ANYWHERE ELSE. PONDER THAT.
ReplyDeleteI am sure some of our bloggers may agree with you Monique Robinson- Smith!
ReplyDeleteKuddos to Byron and Mr. Anonymous for your honesty and finding ways to satisfy the women in your lives. I have two friends in this situation. The one couple uses toys and she is very satisfied but other friend is extremely frustrated because the man does not seem at all interested in doing anything different to see that she is satisfied. Unfortunately for the second couple, she has chosen to seek outside satisfaction and has for years. She stays in the relationship for financial security.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion to the brothers of smaller stature I would advise levitra and the pump and remember the 3 p's.
ReplyDeleteTo Cindy....Thanks from Mr. Anonymous aka (Chairman and CEO) ....but I am not the one who deserves the thanking, it's all Byron. He open the doors for men like me. Try this on for size; men with smaller cocks don't cheat as much as men with the big ones. The big cock guys are always out there proving something. They are trying their best to get more and more notches on their belts. Since I am small, when I was advanced to, or offered sex at work as I climbed the ladder, I reluctantly said NO. What could I offer her? Definitely not a BIG ONE and a smile! I always just tried my best to please my wife because she accepted my short-comings long ago. To Mr. Byrd, I have tried everything and ironically, the pump does work!
ReplyDeleteTo Chairman/Ceo, Byron, and Reggie
ReplyDeleteIt is so nice to have men joining in the conversation on this blog with a different perspective. Us women too often get tunnel vision because of how we are created mentally. We don't always know what we are talking about either(imagine that) LOL. It is excellent to hear a man's point of view so that we can become well round in our thoughts and ideas. It is important to be able to see both sides of the spectrum and base our decisions on the information that we have gathered. Thank you men for chiming in!!!!
Two inches with a left hook, toys and lots of oral makes for one hell of a night! I'm just saying.....
ReplyDeleteGotcha! Thank you for broadening my perspective, it is greatly appreciated!!!
ReplyDeleteYou welcome Cindylou
ReplyDeleteByron I like that you up open up the door! And Mr.CEO I like the fact that you came in omce the door was open. I never thought that men who know that they have short comes would admit to them. And I like what you two have done. That's COOL!
ReplyDeleteOk, Ok, OK, I have sat back and let this one run on like a sentence created by an non-writing child. I must say something! So many people to address, but I must start by addressing the source. Ma'am, you have a few questions to answer from a few of the bloggers, so come on now, get to it. Next, Byron, all I can say is Thanks for your transparency, damn, you are some kind of rebel now and everyone seem to like your honesty! OK, Mr. Chairman/CEO dude, I am getting several private messages from the men with the "Big Sticks" and frankly, they feel like you are attacking their GOD provided Anatomy, so to say, and I must say, you have said a few things that I do want to say a word or two about. Like when you said, "I can honestly say, there is more to life than carrying 11 inches of pipe everywhere you go." While you are probably right, one of my in-box people said, and I quote, "WHAT do you expect MR. Rich Money Small Cock to say!" (I just tell it like it comes in, sorry) While I wish these guys would come on and tell their views, we are a Blog/forum for all, so I don't mind reprinting the facts. Another referenced your statement, "The big cock guys are always out there proving something. They are trying their best to get more and more notches on their belts." His comeback statement was, "Mr. Anatomy, he sounds like a jealous guy who hates his flower didn't keep growing! Must have been a bad winter in Cock-ville!"
ReplyDeleteWhile there are several more, I think you catch their drift. The sentiment is you are defending the small guy, by beating down the psyche of the larger "pee-pee" club. While I don't personally feel that way, I like telling both sides of the story. I welcome all of you readers but NOT bloggers to come on and tell how you feel. This is the last "public service" announcement. IF you don't want your name seen, be anonymous! It's OK, we don't mind!
CindyLou, what can I say about you, a constant contributor to our forum. We thank you for the mature mind and the ability to sort through your vision for the purpose of clarity.
Lady, you gonna have to let him know how you feel. My brother has completely withdrawn himself from women because his wife of 4 years told him sex was awful! When he asked her how long this was the case, she sadly admitted "the whole relationship!" Now they friends but, she really hurt him by telling him he had a small penis. He told her, it's always been the same size! Women, stop dating and marrying men with small "things" if you don't like them. Tell them you don't like them so they can find happiness somewhere else. Now my little brother is with a man in a happy gay relationship. I believe it's her fault, he was a good husband and dad, now look what happened! I blame her deceitful ass! My brother ain't gay, just disappointed!
ReplyDeleteFor the record im fine in the girth dept. I just wanted Cindy Lou to see how it maybe for her other half, but its true you should address the situation otherwise he may be feeling like he's Da'Man when truly he is far from such. Maybe toys and lots of oral maybe the anwser but C'mon man really there's alot of ways to step ya game up.
ReplyDeleteOMG!! My brother is not GAY he's just disappointed... Where they do that at?
ReplyDeleteI'm just sayin
Reggie,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your thoughts but I am not the one with the man that is small in the girth as you so put it. I have been with smaller men years ago when I was younger and they truly had no problem satisfying me. Like I had mentioned earlier, I do have a friend that her husband has never stepped up the game and I honestly could not live in that situation. She is truly miserable because she desires to do the right thing and remain faithful but she has looked elsewhere at times for her pleasure.
Babygirl -
ReplyDeleteWe actually live in Texas but my brother has moved to Atlanta. One of his friends from school comforted him after the divorce and come to find out, he was in the closet and pulled my brother in there too! I know for a fact he wasn't gay until His wife left him. He was in the church, had had a lot of girlfriends and liked being a man. I think he in a state of confusion, but our family had never turned their back on him. We just continue to pray and ask for some type of break through. His ex wife drove him into an alternative life style and I'm mad as hell at her. It takes everything Christian in me to keep me from whooping her ass! My brother was my best friend.
Ain't that much confusion in the world!!!
ReplyDeleteOk I understand what your saying...But because your bother made a choice he is now gay. He is by no means confued about the choice he has made...All I can say is to now love him for who he is now...And if his ex wife really hurt him that bad for him to turn to a man I really can't see a break though...But then again who am I....I hope the best for you and your family...And as for the ex wife you are some many years late WHOOPING her ASS!!If what she told him made him truly turn to a man NOTHING could have STOPPED me From WHOOPING her ASS if it was my brother..They give out ASS WHOOPING everyday and she is past due for hers... I'm just saying if it was me...
ReplyDeleteGood afternoon everyone, I am the person who asked the original question to Mr Anatomy. I have been following the conversations all weekend and really appreciate the responses. I really had some soul searching to do before approaching you all with a come back.
ReplyDeleteMr Byron, thank you for all of your honestly and courage to respond the way you did. I have never known anyone to actually admit to not being well endowed. However, I do have to clarify some things with you. You assumed I was 25-30 years old but the truth to that is I am in my early 40's. I have never been married and although I mentioned he's a great provider, I was not speaking of financial providing only. I make twice as much as my beau and I LOVE him very much but we have a serious problem to deal with. Mr CEO, when I stated that I was not an oral person, I meant I do not like receiving it too much because that's not done very well either. Cindy Lou, you are a very interesting person and I really like the things you say. Ms. Anonymous, I am sorry for what you think your sister in law has pushed your brother to do, however, I do not believe that is 100% the whole truth. He knew what the Real deal was and maybe in denial. Once he was rejected by his "wife" for the truth, that gave him the strength to do what he really wanted to do and using that for an excuse was a relief. (I am just thinking outside of the box) I would not want this to happen to my Beau. I am not sure how to approach this situation yet but I definitely appreciate the feed back. Honesty is the BEST policy but If I'm not being touched right, what do I do when I love this man?
Dear Ms. Unsatisfied,
ReplyDeleteHoney, I feel your heart!! I think if you go to him in sincerity with a humble heart and voice your concerns to him you will be able to make a decision at that point. Hopefully by approaching him tenderly he will receive your concerns and feel your pain as well. A relationship is truly based on a foundation of great communication between the two individuals involved. If you are going to be marrying this man then you should be able to approach him gently with your concerns and able to work something out. If you don't have good communication at this point before you enter into a long term commitment with him then that will become an issue as well because when other problems arise then you won't have the communication to work them out. As I mentioned earlier, there are professional sex counselors out there that know how to handle this sort of situation. Seeking some advise for yourself first may be a good option and may help you get some clarity on how to approach him. I will keep you in my prayers and know that my heart is touched by your plight.
Babygirl, Anonymous, the lady who wrote the question, and the rest of the blog, I do appreciate your concern and even your sarcasm about my brother and his ordeal, but I can not only assure you my brother wasn't gay before all this started, I have called him and asked him to give you his take on exactly what I have been saying. Unless you have been through the pain and trauma associated with being told some of the stuff he was by his ex-wife, there is NO way for you to understand. I even sent that "winch" a text and asked her trifling ass to read and respond. She never said nothing back, but my brother is reading this blog right now and said when he gets off work this evening, he will try to explain what had happened to make him like men differently. You would just had to know him before this happened to him. I like this blog because yall are real people. I know this aint my day, but thank you for not judging our situation. I love my brother with all I have, and as I shed tears for his happiness, I just hate having to explain to my boys what happened to their once straight uncle! Me and my brother are twins and he gone always be my lil brother. We shared a womb together, and our life aint never been the same since he switched over.
ReplyDeleteTo All,
ReplyDeleteWhile I am flying the friendly skies, it seems my bloggers have quite a bit to talk about. Ms. Unsatisfied (the lady the blog is about) I sincerely appreciate you showing up to support your topic and give our bloggers a peek into more of your story. This has been a very heated and active story, with a backdrop brewing with the Guy that "turned" to his kind! I don't say that to be facetious, just a matter of a reference point that everyone can identify. I am curious like everyone else here to find out why the "ole switch a roo" happened so I honestly hope you show up sir to speak to us candidly. I also give you the forum to explain yourself if you feel you would like to be the blunt of our discussions at a later date. I agree with the masses, Ma'am, you have to tell "your Beau" about his shortcomings and how they are affecting the relationship. Remember, The Anatomy way is to COMMUNICATE all influences that cause stress on a relationship. Like Byron eluded to, he will hurt for a moment, but in the long run, he will be much better off. Ma'am, I don't know how long you two have been dating BUT like the Gay man's sister said, the size hasn't changed. Is there ANYTHING positive about intercourse with your fiance`?
Thanks everyone for making this topic the gem of our discussions! (Got a flight to catch)
H.Williams, MBA
Kimberly Michelle
ReplyDeleteFirst the asker may want to ponder amongst herself why it is that she is not being satisfied sexually. I also am in my 40s and I wasn't into oral with men because of their inability to satisfy me in that way, but I have had the pleasure of being in a relationship with a not-so-well-endowed man. I say I have had the pleasure because although his man-part, as you stated, is small, yet that didn't deter him from pleasing me. The sex was actually much better than any larger sized man. But I had to do some things for myself first before the sex became as good as it was. One thing was to go to my doctor for a full physical and address any health issues that I felt could affect my ability to reach an orgasm, bellieve me when I say, THIS IS A REAL PROBLEM WITH WOMEN ALL OVER THE WORLD! Once I had taken care of any health problem that may have interfered with me reaching climax, I went to my friend and sat him down for a real conversation about what I was experiencing with him sexually. At first he was offended but a few days later he revisited the conversation with me on his own and wanted to find out what his problem was and if it could be corrected so that we could possibly share a long lasting fulfilling relationship with me. (He was willing to try anything to try and please me because he wanted to be with me) which was the main solution starting process. When I addressed the issue of him not lasting long enough, he explained that he was always excited long before the actual act of intimacy took place, therefore he always "came so quick". I suggested that he release himself before we began to become intimate and the 2nd erection would last much longer and it did. After a while of doing this it got easier for him to remain erect longer the first time. Additionally, we tried different positions that would allow him to reach my spot from a confortable angle and that too worked for us. But keep in mind that in the beginning I had some health issues that were affecting my ability to become sexually aroused to the point of climax. In my mind I wanted to, but in my loins, I wasn't able to become aroused. Dryness wasn't the issue but climaxing was.We too were considering marriage and sought out a counselor that could comfort us and cousel us at the same time, this was probably the biggest frustrating challenge that ultimately gave us the audience we need to openly discuss our sexual issues with each other without hysterics. There are many avenues you could try and hopefully my comment has helped you.
To All,
DeleteI am encouraged and inspired by your responses. Kudos to you as we continue to seek enlightment about relationships and it's struggles. An aside, Kimberly Michelle thank you for your post and honesty. I toast to you and your mate for seeking answers to continue in love and fulfillment. Thanks y'all and much love to you....
Kim, I am walking to my plane and reading through my phone, but you have insight wise beyond your years. You just gave them a viable solution and not added stress or uncomfortable agony. I don't know where you hide all of that positive energy sometimes (smile) but when you bring it, you bring it in a major way. Thanks for using your own experiences to shine a light on a very difficult topic to speak on. I know the lady appreciates your supreme effort! I sure do! Kudos My fellow Treadwellian!
ReplyDeleteH. Williams, MBA
Twin,
ReplyDeleteHomosexuality is very common in twin children. Google it! Your brother may have liked men either way his relationship went with his wife. When you said you were his twin, it made perfect sense to me. Every set of twins I know, one of them is homosexual. I even know a set of twins (male/female) and both of them are homosexual. Very, very common for this to happen. Hope I have shed a new light on the subject.
I'm Twin ..... twin Boy that is and I have read all the things you guys and girls think you know about homosexuality and how it starts. Thank you sis for trying your best to defend me, but I can take if from here. My name is Matthew and I have NO shame in what has happened to me! I am very successful and I owe it all in part to how my "bitch" wife treated me. She took my kindness and sucked everything out of me before telling me she was NOT in love with me anymore. She said my "thing" was too small and all it did was tickle her during sex. I quickly reminded her it was the same size for 4 years, but that didn't matter to her. She hurt me somewhere deep where Love dwells inside of us. It was hard for me to even come out and face people after this disgrace. I was a deacon at the church, a basketball coach for my community center and an all around great guy. So, NO, I didn't wake up being gay. I was against that lifestyle. A woman scorned me and life took over. I hated myself and in-turn hated women. Enter my best friend from childhood.....He had been bisexual for years, on the down-low, as society likes to so prevalently give us names for all conditions. He took me in, gave me a place to stay and I continued to try to date women. I would see him interact with his female friends, and even joined in a few times. Then, one night, out of no where, we were in a 3 some ordeal with his girlfriend. We had been drinking and my "friend" kissed me. I fought it, I even pushed back, but ultimately I knew I owed him for his rebuilding efforts he had done with me. First, it was really settle and didn't happen again for a long time after that, but I carried that shame of what I had done inside. For me, gay is now a choice. Women can't feel anything I do beyond kissing or oral but my friend made me understand how that is not important as genuine love. That is what he gives me. We still mess with women every now and then, but we tell everyone we are a couple. We are both big, masculine guys that you would probably see at the gym, but as of today, only our families, landlords and few know what really goes on behind closed doors. I am slowly coming to grips with the choice I've made, but psychologically, I feel I can turn it on and off. I know, society say we are on the down-low, we say we are just living! He's my best friend and I am his. There is NO girl or guy in this relationship, we are just both men exploring. I may be the guy you meet at church or even in the produce section of WalMart, but make no mistake about it, I am still seeing men and women. We date in swinging circles and with people here in Atlanta who think it's cool when all parties connect. Nobody talks about it, or even judge, we just live! I welcome your questions and Mr. Anatomy, if you want to make me a topic, I will forward my email address to yours.
ReplyDeleteLove My Twin Sister!!!! I'm just human and Normal!
Dear Twins,
ReplyDeleteBrother,
I can relate to your sisters anger and her desire to see you living the life that God has chosen for you rather than the life that you have chosen for yourself at this point. I am truly sorry that you have had to endure such a painful experience leaving you with such a deep scar in your heart. I will tell you this, God can resect that scar and make you whole if you allow him to. Don't allow one woman's opinion to have that much power and control in your life. I know that is easier said than done but it is true. There are over a million people in this world and one person's opinion does not mean jack!!!!
Sister,
I say I can relate to your feelings because my oldest son is living a homosexual lifestyle. When I first found out it totally disrupted my inner core and I was devastated. I felt responsible for it as his mother and tried everything to change him which did not work but only created a period of time where our relationship was extremely strained. Once I realized that it was not my responsibility but God's to deal with him then all my anger left. I have come to a point where I can see him through God's eyes and not my own. God hates our sin but He never stops loving us. He continues to woo us back to Him with His unconditional love. I have been able to begin to love my son with that type of love and our relationship has been renewed. He knows I disapprove of the way that he has chosen to live but it is not a focus in our relationship. I have two other sons that have had to deal with the impact of this situation as well. We have always talked about it openly and honestly. You mentioned that you hate having to explain to your sons what has happened with their uncle. They need to know that sometimes people make decisions that are not always in their best interest but that you still need to love them and pray for them. It is important to be totally honest with them about what has happened and work through it at that point.
If you both can rid yourself of that bitterness and anger then that would open the door to the healing process of both your hearts as well as your relationship with one another. I will keep you both in my prayers!
Mr. Twin (Brother)
ReplyDeleteSorry for my tardiness, I had very limited access to a computer in the ladder part of my day yesterday. Anyway, I could feel the passion of what you wrote as it jumped off the page. You do pose a unique set of standards for our bloggers so I do look to bring you back as one of our questions in the NOT SO Distant future. While I have several questions in cue, I think our bloggers would understand if I bumped you up a bit. Look to hear from me soon. In the mean time, do what makes you happy! In this life, those who follow that model seem to do a lot better than those who live for the betterment of others!
Thanks for sharing with us. Also, thanks to your sister for helping us say on the cutting edge of discussions.
H. Williams, MBA
Mr. Anatomy,
ReplyDeleteYour comment "Those who live for the betterment of others" just struck me like a flash of lightning!!!! Thank you for that!
Appreciate your truth Twin Brother and happy you have a good support system in place with sister and family. Thank you
ReplyDeleteTo Cindy,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your advice and kind words. I am dealing with the pressures of what my Brother has placed before us. I know I sound like I hate my ex-sister in law, its probably because I do!
Twin Sister
Twin Sister,
ReplyDeleteI would be happy to visit with you over the phone anytime. Mr. Williams has my contact information and I am sure that he would email it to you if you asked. Know that all information would remain confidential.
It has been over 10 years or more that my son revealed his sexual orientation. We have come to the point of agreeing to disagree about what we believe and there is nothing wrong with that. He is happy and I absolutely cannot begrudge him his happiness. The last thing that you want to do is alienate your brother. Love truly does cover a multitude of sins. Holding onto bitterness and hatred will only hurt you in the long run and no one else. Your sister-in-law could care less if you hate/blame her so it is not hurting her at all. I hated my ex-husband for a very long time because I blamed him and his abusive behavior. Then one day I realized what that hate/bitterness was doing to me both emotionally and physically as well as how it was affecting my family. It was not a pretty sight to realize and admit that ugliness inside of me but I did and got the healing that I needed. I can honestly say that I now have peace with it all because my trust is in God not in man!! When I have people that want to judge my son for being homosexual I just look them in the eye and say, Look, he is my son and I love him, I may not agree with the way that he has chosen to live his life but the God I know still loves him and so do I. That tends to shut them down right in their tracks. I say this all because you can overcome what you are feeling inside and get through this. Hang in there dear!!