Mr. Anatomy,
I have a question about relationships. I have been in an open relationship with a friend for about 5 years, but the last year or so, we have been completely committed to one another. I am an independent female, so it took me that long to trust enough to go further. Well, he has two children from a previous relationship in a different state that I was aware of. In late 2010, I was told about a 3rd child produced while we were "kickin it" in our open relationship, here where we live. While I was pissed because of the delayed information, we got passed that, and entered our committed relationship. Things have been great until lightning just struck again. He just dropped another child on me! The child is the exact same age as child # 3 and he knew about this child 6 months after it was born, but I found out the "other day!" My question is .........
Ma'am, I must say, you have quite the "man" opposite of you. While trust, commitment, and honesty should go without saying, you two need to have a "come clean" conversation; and soon! From hence forward, you will be addressed as Ms. Understood and I will give you my opinion once my bloggers have had a chance to chime in. Please remain available for any questions the forum may have of you.
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
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The negativity is coming from your lack of communication. By that I mean, its obvious that you two have never sat down and just talked.about who you each are as individuals, where you would like to be in a relationship (i.e. on the top or in the middle or on the bottom). You don't know what he wants and he doesnt know what you want and y'all dont even know if y'all can have what you want. After 5 years of being acquainted, y'all dont know the first thing about each other. The one thing you can be sure of is that there is WAY MORE to his hidden children than he is letting you know. Dig a little bit deeper and some other skeletons are bound to leap out of the closet, right into your lap.
ReplyDeleteWell sometimes if you dont ask the right questions you will not get all the answers. Apparently he is still operating on a need to know basis with you. Either break it off, go back to the drawing board and redefine what you are doing, or just stay with the way things are right now. My concern is how many women was he rawdogging it with while you guys had the open relationship and dragging his little dirty dick self home to you. Go get tested
ReplyDeleteYou chose to have an open relationship with this man for 4 years, since you agreed to that dumb shit then you should have thrown a no outside children clause in. I figure if it happened during you guys open door policy period then just deal with it and stop complaining you agreed to both of you sleeping with other people.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I got from this post was....He is running around with everyone hitting it raw. Open relationship or not, his practices are unsafe and I am assuming yours are as well because it doesn't seem to be a concern of yours. Speaking from experience. I left a open relationship alone for the same reasons. Potential baby mommas popping up everywhere. Even though I always protected myself, I no longer felt safe with him even with the use of protection. I think you need to look at the bigger picture here..... piggy backing off of an earlier blog...I hope everyone who has had a sexual relationship of anykind are getting tested on a regular basis(at least annually). not just when you think someone has been unfaithful, gay or straight.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, you opened the door on this one by having an open relationship. He really didn't owe it to tell you anything. Open implies do what you do. I'm sorry but honestly you either accept the kids or move on. But in the future no more open relationships.
ReplyDeleteThere sure seems to be a lot of deception on his part and what's with the unprotected sex that leads to these children being brought into your fold. I don't know what keeps you close to him, or even in the relationship, but you may need to think of being alone, or just allowing him to do whatever it is he wants. (which is clearly what he is doing anyway) Men only get away with what you allow them to. They are like little puppies who are being house broken. What you need to do is spank his ass with some rolled up newspaper and put his nose in the shit he keeps droppin on the carpet! What keeps you with him? Something must keep you hangin on, I pay it's not that dipstick that he keeps dippin in others! #IJS
ReplyDeleteDear Ms. Understood,
ReplyDeleteTo answer your question, NO, it's not too often we know who we are dating. We have to trust them to be who they show themselves to be, then we draw our own conclusion based on their actions. This one has me a bit perplexed because it seems he is NOT learning his lesson after each child is born. And, like others have eluded, he likes to stick his man-piece in others without discretion and care for the recklessness of leaving reproductive seed behind. Now, I don't know what you have planned for the future, but one thing is certain, either he needs to stop making children, or at the minimum, come correct about the ones already here. I would start dialog with him by saying, "Are you absolutely sure there is NO possible way there are any more mini-YOUs out there, or babies you have created via intercourse? With Us (men) you have to ask direct questions to direct answers. If you have the heart, weather through the answer and if he says NO and another shows up, this relationship needs to seriously be looked at for termination.
Mr. Anatomy = Hurchel Williams, MBA
Well I would have a problem because he was having sex all these women with no protection. Next thing is, how many more may there be? Sweetie run for the hill because this is going to tear u apart. Not to mention the child support and baby Moma drama
ReplyDelete