Dear Mr. Anatomy,
After carefully reading some of your earlier post and the dilemmas of others, I'm gonna take my friend's advice, and reach out for some understanding from your bloggers. I am being "blackmailed" by my boss's wife. I did a terrible thing a few months ago and it is coming back to haunt me. While on a company retreat, with all the partners from my firm, liquor got the best of me and I had sex with my boss's wife. Well, I'm happily married, and they are in the process of a nasty divorce. She has been down on her luck because of the stress from her divorce so we've started to talk after work over coffee and sometimes a few cocktails, but I have stood firm on not going anywhere near her bed! Saturday, she said, "If you don't have sex with me, I will tell my husband what happened in the Caymans." She always tries to kiss me and re-light that fire from the trip, but I told her I was vulnerable and that can't happen again! She smacked me in her drunken state and said I have until Saturday to "make love" to her, or everyone will "feel" her loneliness. My Question is......
Sir, I have to say, you are in a very unique situation and while I have my opinion, I will let my experienced bloggers tackle this first before I chime in. From hence forward, I will address you as Mr. Dark-side and please remain available for any questions my bloggers may have.
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
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To your wife come clean and tell her what you just related to the blog. Dont try to fix it up and gloss it over. You betrayed your life partner and she deserves the truth. Hope you used protection. As for the boss, deny deny deny. Truthfully he probably does not believe anything she says anyway with her drunk self. No sense of loosing your job over an indescretion that happened under the influence of alcohol and bad judgment. Do a self examination on how you truily ended up in this situation. No one accidently has sex.
ReplyDeleteTell your partner ASAP!!!!!! As for the drunken floosie when she tells her soon to be ex husband first say a quick small prayer and then act like she is a billergerent drunk deny everything she says this is one as far as your little tipsy tap with her you should take that to your grave you need your job we all need jobs. Lastly, don't be this stupid ever again.
ReplyDeleteCome clean to your wife... I agree deny to the fullest to your boss she probably is a pro and does this often to boost her ego. dont let her trick you into losing your job why do you think he is her soon to be EX HUSBAND????? 80/20 rule dont let hot ass women ruin the good woman of 17 years that you have at home!
ReplyDeleteWow! Pretty messy situation! That's why we have to be so very careful not to mix business with pleasure, because it is like they can have like a puppet dangling and when something don't go their way they want to drop you real soon. I say Tell your wife and be honest with her. Not sure how your boss is going to take it , but I don't think he will take it too well.. Just be honest and come clean. Wow i the sayng is true you "Reap what you sew!" Not a good harvest right now.
ReplyDeleteNo disrespect to anybody who has commented.....DENY....DENY....DENY.....Some things are better left unsaid. If she feels the need to disclose you her ex, let her....but you keep your hands free of the situation (beyond what's already been done). I'm not telling on myself.....Usher tried that and it didn't work out for him. Better her be suspicious than for you to provide confirmation of her worst fears (if she even is suspecting it anyway). Pass it off as this woman attempting to get back at her ex. The truth is tricky and some people can't handle it. What's done is done.....LET HER DO WHAT SHE GONE DO.....TAKE THAT TO YOUR GRAVE!!!!!
ReplyDeleteEverything everyone has said seriously has validity, but, here is where it get's sticky; I was gonna take this to my grave, but I am an African American and my boss and wife are Caucasian. I have never tested the theory, but the gossip around the office is that my boss is prejudice and this is Alabama. She reminded me of how he truly feels about black men, and how much anger will be inside of him. I have NEVER cheated on my wife and this should have never happened, but it did. The two of us were in a secluded area when the party ended on the beach and now I wish this would have never happened because when I got to my room, late evening, or should I say early that morning, my wife wanted to have sex but I had just performed an unprotected act. Women always remember and I know she will start to think back. I am leaning towards not saying anything, but this lady just won't go away! I even thought about helping her find another man of color to help me ease away. I was her first.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Brandon, she needs Proof PLAYER that you guys had Sex? Cut her Ass off Now! Why are You having Coffee with Her? Go and get on Your Boss's side for the Divorce. Erase any and all things associated with her phone number and emails. Basically Her words against Your words... And lets get real Why did she single you out anyway Player? You must have been eager to do Her too? Of all the Lady's at the Party to Sleep with You Picked the Boss's Wife? True Player that just got caught up....
ReplyDeleteU slept with your White Boss's wife, whom you felt is Prejudice? You wanted to knock the boots with her? Or had knocked boots with her earlier,Player? Cause even at our Drunkest state , there are Females we will not Screw. She is trying to Set Yo Black-ass Up now? Deny it ! Deny it! Next time You Cheat on your wife ,Beat that Poon Thang Up til its completly dry? Dry Poon tang does not tell on You? They will keep it 100 ,with you ... She already knew you were married and will not talk of it cause it may be a next time. She is only playing cause she wants comfort. If she was trying to hurt her Husband, please do not take this the wrong way Player? " She would not Phuck the Help." Saw that on "ScarFace" What Michelle Pfeiffer(Elvira) tells, Al Pacino(Tony)...If She reveals she slept with you , only You will lose. Your Boss won't! First time Player? c'mon
ReplyDeleteWOW! The plot thickens!
ReplyDeleteDear Mr. Dark-Side,
ReplyDeleteI must agree with you when I say you have quite the dilemma. Like Willie eluded to, even when you are tippin around, or cheating, there has to be some rhyme or reason to what you do. My disclaimer says, "While I don't condone cheating, I do recognize it happens!" With that said, I am not going to judge you, spank your hand, or call you out on what you did, because that portion is behind you. When I cheated, and now when I speak out against it, one thing have to remain; 92% of the time, you get away with your actions, no harm no foul. BUT, and here is the big one no one wants to address, when you get yourself in a bind, you have to protect hearts that are NOT meant to be broken. Those hearts are your wife's and your boss's. When it comes to interracial dating, I say in my book, those unions were forbidden for so long, that sometimes people reach across lines just to see what it was they may have been lacking. Since you say you were her first, I think you were systematically targeted. My answer for you, to keep everybody's heart where it should be, wait her out! Don't run to the wife just yet and show your hand. That goes against everything I NOW believe in, but because this is your boss's wife, and we are dealing with your job and your livelihood, I would let the bomb explode before I formulate a plan for the fallout. In my research, no matter how cornered you may feel, I truly can't see her telling off on herself and even being believable. Your boss knows he's in a divorce fight, so he is probably prepared for some mud slinging, but, NO one, absolutely NO one was there except for the two of you! So, there is nothing to show that it truly happened, I wouldn't be so quick to ruin my own life. BUT, if she does tell, that is a whole different animal and you BETTER have some contingency plans, and quick. As of right now, Stop accepting her calls, and Stop meeting with her. From this point forward, she is on her own with whatever twisted plan she has. Be nice, be cordial, but keep your distance. You have done your damage, and I can only imagine how you feel! After you respond, I will be back to give you my final thought!
Mr. Anatomy = Hurchel Williams, MBA
Mr. Dark-side,
ReplyDeleteOne more thought, I just re-read your statement and you said, " my wife wanted to have sex but I had just performed an unprotected act." You are gonna have to find a way to get you and your wife checked for anything "x-tra" you might have brought back to your bedroom. Now, how you do this, I don't know, but we live in an age where safety trumps broken hearts. Tell the wife, it's time for our annual check up and you are gonna lead by example! :) (just a thought)
The woman that is getting divorced has nothing to gain. If she fesses up it gives her husband more ammunition against her and she will be penalized even more than she already is. Honestly she just wants to make someone else as miserable as she is.
ReplyDeleteYou know what they say about misery...
Loves company!
really man? ever heard the term "pinch hitter" Hurchel has a point. if she says she'll say something, testify for the husband. push it right back at her
ReplyDeleteMr. Anatomy,
ReplyDeleteI haven't said anything yet, but I got a text today that simply said "the clock is ticking, I have nothin to lose, sex b4 Saturday or Everyone loses!" I don't truly know how to take that, but I am holding and I am trying not to let this bother me. She is upset because I won't take her calls and not return her text. My poor wife knows I am stressed about something and she is so against infidelity, and I am sure that is why I am carrying this migraine. She doesn't deserve to be hurt, but somehow I just know this won't end good! I truly thank everyone for their prayers!
THE TRUTH SETS YOU FREE!!
ReplyDeleteWe as humans are held in account of all actions! Meaning you weep want you sow, what goes up must come down, what action you throw out to the universe will return to you!! If you truly love your wife, you will be
honest and tell her the truth! She will be angry, and feel betrayed at first eventually she will come back around not on your time but her time!!! If your marriage is built on solid ground it will return back to solid ground! You will go through the wilderness first due to your fuck up! BUT BY ALL MEANS DO NOT ALLOW HER TO RECEIVE THE NEWS THROUGH THE GRAPVINE THEN YOU WILL BE DOOMED!! ( I heard it through the grapevine) Marvine Gaye!!! Good luck my brother! Love, Light and Unity!!
Good Gezus....Okay Mr. DarkSide....this is a woman who is out to get whatever she can, and since she is hurting, she wants everyone around her to hurt as well...Like she said, she has nothing to lose. You should have (if you haven't) kept all of the texts and proof of calls that she has made to you....hopefully you have none going out...and use that against her as a harassment situation....blackmail her ass back...(i.e.) You both were at the beach, she became intoxicated and you saw her on the beach...on the way back to your room...she became a little out of hand..and when you rejected her, she played the sex card..(if you don't do this, I'll say this...).unless you have some identifying marks, say it was a lie, because you rejected her and I'm sure she knows that they will believe her over you....whatever evidence you have to show she is contacting you, hold on to it and use it against her.
ReplyDeleteNext time....Keep your piece in your pants and you won't have this issue to worry about...
It takes two to tangle!!! Free at will beings!! "Yea blame it on the alcohol " (LOL) "" THE TRUTH SETS YOU FREE!!!
ReplyDelete