Mr. Anatomy,
I didn't know if you were still accepting questions for your blog, but I am in need of your services in the worst way! I have been with my current boyfriend for about 3 years. Our relationship has been riddled with lies, deceit and some infidelity on both sides. I admit, I have stepped out too, but as a woman, I only ventured out because my boyfriend was not giving me the attention I needed. In the last year, however, we have both settled down and have gotten our relationship to a point where we both feel love has heeled our woes. But, Mr. Anatomy, yesterday, we went to the Obama Inauguration and at dinner last night, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of friends, family, and his work colleagues. I accepted but last night, while having sex, I couldn't help but stare at the ceiling and wonder, "is this really what I want?" I guess my question is ......
Ma'am, I apologize, but I have been slacking heavily on my blog site due to heavy commitments in other areas of the "Anatomy Franchise" but my blog is what brought me the most notoriety so I will never totally abandon my roots. As for your question, I will allow my bloggers to take control and give you their opinion before offering my ideas at a later time. Please stay available for any questions my bloggers may have. We will address you as Ms. Engaged from hence forward.
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
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Ms.Engaged a proposal is a big step for a man and a enormous commitment. People make mistakes, I believe in change although not everyone is capable of it. Give it a chance...and if you have doubts, set the wedding out a while to see if it falls through, just dont forget to nourish you relationship beyond the doubt. Give it a chance and good luck
ReplyDeleteGirl , nothing changes after marriage, you get more of the same from what I hear. Step lightly ! And dont pressured into marriage because eerybody was there when he proposed, so what, the marriage is between YOU AND HIM NOT THEM !!! I know too many people who got married jus cause they got caught up in the moment. If you already staring at the ceiling what the hell you think you go be doin after the WEDDING????? LOOK BEFO YOU LEAP!
ReplyDeleteI agree with both ladies. people can change and marraige does not change a person for the better. plan a date that is set yrs out so that gives you both time to make sure its right for you both.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that changes in a marriage is your last name. Marriage is a big step so make sure that's what u want. Looking up at the ceiling while have sex is not a good start. Make sure the trust is there because without it there is no need for y'all to waste each others time
ReplyDeletei will guess it all de depends on what you expect from this new venture. honestly a truthful confrontation is needed so you can be in the clear and being honest with yourself and your partner is going to be key....saying yes just because u are put in a spot is understandable but at the same time prior convo should have been had. thats the past tho. i believe a genuine conversations sould be had between the two of you and some counselling as well so u can both clear the closet of some skeletons only then can u get a clear feeling of what you really want from this gentle man and WHAT YOU IDEALLY WANT FOR YOUR SELF.
ReplyDeleteIf you're having doubts listen to your gut. Marriage is not a band aid for your problems. Marriage exacerbates your problems
ReplyDeleteDo not lead this Man on,1st give the Ring Back. Then leave the relationship? If you have to Move, then move. If you have to Woman up and pack his Shit Do it.Get comfortable with Yourself First...Do You Boo! Think You need time alone and get to know whats gonna make You happy. Marriage has no gaurantee's?
ReplyDeleteI completely understand what you all are saying, but wouldn't I seriously hurt his feelings if I pull back now? Not to mention, he has told everyone at his job about his engagement. I guess what I am asking is this, we already live together, and we have already been together for 3 years, so don't people fake it anyway? Is marriage ever real??? I listen to older women at work and I never hear anyone that still have butterflies about their husband 4 or 5 years into a marriage, they just co-habitate and just do it to save face.
ReplyDeleteMs. Engaged.
The Ring wont change nothing...
ReplyDeletewell the ring can change a person but for how long
ReplyDeleteI believe it can an dere evidence dat supports it.....but d odds of it happenin is slimmmmm
ReplyDeleteDear Ms. Engaged,
ReplyDeleteI think you have been given some really good advice here in our forum, but I will take it one step further and do so in a manner where you can use the sign of the times as your backdrop. Now, everyone loves marriage, and everyone loves to "belong" to another and say, this is my man or woman BUT....... you must ask yourself, what's my agenda? Am I in this marriage for security, am I in this marriage for convenience, or do I truly love my projected mate? I always ask people to look around and do your own personal survey and ask couples that YOU know who are married one simple question, "are the two of you happy?" You may be surprised at some of the answers you get. In your last statement, you used the word Co-exist, well, in many cases, that is just it, many people co-exist because their union becomes all they know. Then, when something else comes along, or infidelity happens, you do just the opposite of what Mr. Anatomy's rules say,{see rule #4} @(http://www.anatomyofacheater.com/hurchelism/) You Let infidelity SHOCK YOU, even when you knew your relationship didn't have the correct foundation. If you build a house on a weak foundation, what happens when the first big wind comes?????
Mr. Anatomy = Hurchel Williams, MBA, PHR
tell her ask around to those who would of faked their marriages and find out how it made them feel and what they went tru before coming to the point that they are now...the question is is she able to go through all of that for the sake of one person being happy or that person image ...sometimes all how we love that other person the relationship isn't worth it if we don't love ourself first... just like love marriage should be something felt by both individuals cause its a commitment to be together no matter the obstacles...and trust and communication are the main components in any successful relationship. If one falls apart then the other soon will.....#just my contribution
ReplyDelete