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Mr. Anatomy,
I'm in a 3-Way love affair! I live with man (A) that adores me. He gives me everything he feels I need and want. He offers safety with some security but has his issues. He drinks heavily, and sometimes his finances are a bit shaky, but I love him. - -The second guy (B) and I dated for 7 years and it was a whirl-wind romance! He can be controlling, with his, "call me when you are running late, or where are you" type mentality. In our years of dating, he never truly committed or took me off the market so after being together for so long, I left and met the guy I currently live with. However, my heart is still with guy (B) because I'm "in LOVE" with him. Yes Mr. Anatomy, I have started back sleeping with guy (B) and he is asking me to leave my new man and he promises to give me everything I need once we are together again. Both are older men. My Question is .......
Mr. Anatomy, what do I do? I am highly confused because I love guy (A) but guy (B) and I have so much time invested. Intimacy is good with (a) when we do it, but (b) has my heart, soul, and attention during sex! HELP ME !!!
This is definitely a topic to ponder. Here at the Anatomy of a Cheater Franchise, we never judge, just offer ways to help with your dilemma. Bloggers, have at it, let's show "Ms. 3-Way" why stopping here was the answer to her prayers !!!!!
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker,
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
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A all the way !!!! If B was gon give u everything he would have did it in the 7 years he strung u along. Dont be no fool!! Yo body is neva a good decision maker listen to yo head this time lady!!!!! Teach A to do wat B do and sat down somewhere!!!!! Trust me....
ReplyDeleteOh My, sweetie, you do have a dilemma. How old are you and how old are these men because I see you say they are older? For me, the ages of both would help me with my decision. Old men are like furniture, when they get real old, they just want you to sit on them and dust them off every now and again!!! If you are young and energetic, be mindful of what this old lady is telling you! This blog is so funny because there is always something that reminds me of when I was younger and promiscuous and I can talk all about it cause don't nobody know me. Women have to learn to live and stop being old fashion. Have the second guy (B) work for your love if he wants you back. I am assuming he knows about the one at home so make him pay for his 7 years of bad luck by showing you WHY you should leave. Then make your decision. Just remember this, what you leave for, might not be what you end up WITH!
ReplyDeleteErma in New York
I am Ms 3-Way I am 40, man a is 64 and b is 56. Man a rubs my feet, help me with my school age kids, wash and fold my clothes, runs my bath, takes me on weekend get always, organize my closet, buy me beautiful things and we vacation often to Jazz concerts. Man b also run my bath and we vacationed about twice a year we dined in the finest restaurants, he would help with the kids, he would also help repair things around the house, he is a man that prepare for the future where as man a lives for the moment.
DeleteB only wants you because he no longer has control, A has shown and proven to be the best fit. I guarantee if you leave A for B the whirlwind will soon turn into a breeze.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should reread what you just wrote and look at all the facts!! A) treats you great but drinks too much (just an FYI not good) IF B) Was so great u would've been with A. I have a third option C) you choose yourself take care of you and make you happy and then u can choose a great man when he comes along.
ReplyDeleteLady,
ReplyDeletethe question you want to ask yourself is who will treat you better long term? You were with (B) for 7 years and in those 7 years, what did you learn? What were his good points and what were his bad points? Look in his eyes and ask him this, "would you let me leave a good relationship with someone that is treating me right just for your fu-king EGO? IF he really loves you he would start showing you something "TRUE" before you leave. IF you are still sleeping with you, he knows he has you. It's time for him to show his worth or move the fuck on. I am a gay man and this type of shit happens to us all the time. Everyone wants to rub and lay, but how many want to stay and PAY????
Atlanta Antoine!
Mr. Anatomy, my sister is going through the same type of shit this lady is but her men both know about each other and she got their asses competing for her love. She is not living with either one and she makes them come over on assigned days. She is a doctor here in Mobile and she was tired of getting played by men with their fake promises and player lines. We are Vietnamese from South Louisiana and even in our race men think their money and toys are what we should be attracted to. She turned the tables and said after another 6 months, she will make her choice of which one can have her heart. My sister is beautiful and successful and let them both know, she don't need what they can do for her, just their SEX.
ReplyDeleteMs. Nguyen
Miss, what can you tell us about both guys, I mean, instead of us judging them based on small bits of information, what can you tell us about both men? Things like how they treat you one on one. Which one rubs your feet after a long day of standing on them, or who do you cry to when life makes you sad? What you have to do is take the physical out like Sherita said and compare the mental aspect of what you need. At the end of the day, that is the LOVE that will carry you home. Are you a spiritual woman? Have you taken your burden to the LORD in prayer? Take a moment to tell us about both guys and let us draw a conclusion based on that. Be honest with us and yourself!
ReplyDelete-First Lady-
Most men have not learned the art of loving and maintaining a woman. Some women are trophies or objects to men while others are treated as servants and sex toys. Having men compete for your honor is a good manipulative way to what hey have outside of money and things. If both parties have, then giving of thy self is what's left on the table.....thanks
ReplyDeleteDo the men know you confused about who you want to be with? 3 questions, what do your heart say? who does your body the best, and which one makes you smoke a cigarette when its over? If all of those answers are the same man, be with him......i'm jus saying!
ReplyDeleteMan b does all 3. But the pain and heartbreak to a is so unfair
ReplyDeleteMa'am,
ReplyDeleteAfter our first day of responses, I will chime in and give you my assessment. Sometimes, we have to go back to the basics and listen to our inner voice. Remember this one: "A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush?" For you, it means, You are standing in the window of your home stroking the head of your bird close to your heart, but you are looking out the window at 2 birds chirping in the bush. Those 2 appear to be making beautiful music and they are drawing you in. You make the decision to release the bird you hold to chase the 2 outside in the bush. Bird (A) the one you released, regretfully flies away. When you get outside, you open your arms to capture the 2 birds that were so entertaining as you stood in the window but they fly away as you open your life and your arms for them to land! What are you left with.... you, your open arms, and that Damn Bush! Hence, the one you had, is worth 2 of what you saw! Secondly, which man offers PROTECTION? Protection of your way of life, protection of your sanctity, and protection from ridicule? Often times, when we are going through things, people on the outside can see the very pain we are trying to hide. My question after day one of our responses, which man limits the pain others see you going through? Answer that, and we are well on our way to our decision. Thanks for sharing your question with our forum, let's now start day 2.
Mr. Anatomy = H. Williams, MBA
LIKE I SAID.....AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDo u know how lucky u are to be in the position to have to choose??? Be careful before your choices dont exist. Ummm where u located i will help u out! ???
ReplyDeleteMan b has given an ultimatum it is him today or he is out. We have been on this merry go round for a year and just when my mind decides to go forward with him I look back at a and I stand still. Let me add these are white men and I am a black woman man b I have molded him into what I want but it took man a to show him my worth. In my heart I feel he never valued me I was in deed his trophy. Today he wants to lay it all out and plan for the future and my heart so desperately wants this but I can't be happy with him knowing I caused pain to man a whom has given me and my kids his ALL.
ReplyDeleteI am very surprised at your age ...40. Usually a woman that has reached 40 has a pretty good outlook on what is a suitable fit for her in a long term relationship and what is basically a booty call. Man A seems to offer the emotional, financial and parental support that you need in your life. I bet if you stop entertaining foolishness (man B) you would be able to logically see the difference between sound jugement and a hot tail. Be honest with yourself and look at why man B became an ex. Dont focus on what was so right with you guys but what went wrong. Exes are exes for a reason. Hope and pray that man A never finds out about this tom foolery. Gather yourself and enjoy this man while he obviously enjoys you. I agree with Ms. Miller you should count yourself lucky hopefully you will choose the right man.
ReplyDeleteDon't be scared to make a grown woman decision. I'm surprised by (b)giving you an ultimatum. Tell him, wait just a "bleep-damn" minute. You were my all and all for 7 years, but didn't make me a respected woman by being my husband, then I move on, find a man who ain't as good as you, but trying his best to make me special, and you want me to leave this overnight. Mannnnnn-Please! I'm giving you my "Kittie" just wait on me to make a grown woman decision. If you can't wait, then catch the Titanic and we hope that bitch sink, AGAIN!
ReplyDeleteErma from New York
I just read every answer on this page, and nobody is on the side of B. My advice, if he loves you, tell him to love you until it's uncomfortable to him. Do something out of the ordinary to have me. IS he willing to sacrifice anything to be your man? He had 7 years, all we can talk is marriage. simply put, WHERE IS MY RING!
ReplyDeleteAMAN MISS ERMA!!!!
ReplyDeletePaper first then ring!!! That ring may buy him an extention that she dont need to give.
ReplyDeleteLike Kim said..."the ring didnt mean a thing"
I would say (A) you can mold him into man you want him to be when it come to the terms of your needs. (B) only wants you now because he know that you now have someone new in your life.. If he really wanted to be in your life he would done so 7 years ago. But he did nothing but have you on a wing. Go with (A) he will make you happy and be all you want and need.....
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you tell (b) to read how we women who don't know him see him through your eyes! It should be an eye opener.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Ms Paige......exes are exes for a reason. Don't throw away your "love" for some one that never valued you being "in love".....for 7 count them 7 years. I repeat.....exes are exes for a reason.
ReplyDeleteI think A has everything you need but just need you to be focused on him and not on someone on the outside who has had their chance. Remember how life works, we always long for who we can't have. They always hold the key to our hearts until they become ours and then the true them comes out. I'll bet you anything Mr. 7 year B don't really want you, he just don't want to feel like he lost. Girlfriend, woman to woman, walk away and leave him in his own misery and tell him to stick his ultimatum up his rear-timatum. Men kill me with that type of thinking.
ReplyDeleteI guess I am looking at it differently because I say cut them both. Guy A does not hold your heart and soul which is why you are in love with Guy B. However guy B has had far too long to make you his. He nor you have anything left to prove after 7 years. Therefore, find a new man who offers all they do combined but one who is willing to take it to the next level. You need to be in love with someone who knows your value when he has you, not after he has lost you.
ReplyDelete