I am almost ashamed to share my story with you, but I was directed to you by a friend who said you could help me sort through my dilemma. Please don't judge me, as I would like to have an initial consultation to see if Life Coaching will help with my anger over this situation. Last month, I took a cruise with 5 other childhood lady friends. While on this cruise, something strange happened and the details are a bit sketchy as to how I got myself in this situation. We got off the boat in Cancun, we had a great night drinking tequila and dancing with the locals. Toward the end of the night, the liquor got the best of me, and we returned to the ship to turn in. When I woke up, I was naked, in the same bed with my friend with toys and other sexual items around me. My face was at her feet and her face at mine. I am a heterosexual woman who has NEVER even thought of interacting with another female. When I got up, I felt my body had been violated and probed without my permission. It was so "Awkward" that we still haven't discussed the extent of what happened that night. My Question is .......
"Was I set up or given some type of date rape drug by my friend?" I want to tell my Husband, but fear what he may think of me!"
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.com (send US your Questions anonymously)
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Dear Ma'am,
ReplyDeleteI read your post and was pondering my thoughts. All I can say is that this is one of those "what happens in Vegas..stays in Vegas" situations. Based upon the evidence you gave, you went on a cruise with familiar friends; got drunk and found out you were involved a inappropriate act in your eyes. When we travel to vacation spots that are popular we never inquire about local behavior. Therefore, we get exited and go with the flow. Those tequilas as well as drinks in other countries are laced with opiates that people aren't aware of and what happened to you doesn't surprise. You didn't like it of course and angry with your friend. I can't speak about her inner desires nor yours but I will say that I would advise you to talk it over with your friend to get it off your chest and move on. What type of man is your husband? Is he the type you can be brutally honest with or have to walk on eggshells? The institution of marriage is very demanding and not everyone is built for it. I know you're angry and want to tell your husband, but will It change the way he look at you or even trust you to go on trips again? Will read your plot wrong and figure you had an affair? It's your call but be cautious and try a test theory such as " hey Hun, how would you feel if I wanted to experience a woman?" his reaction will tell you if he can handle it. Personally, just put it behind you and move on knowing it won't happen again. Good luck with your decision.
You seriously have to let whatever happened there, stay there. If you want answers, they have to start with your friend you woke up with. She should be woman enough to say, hey, this is how things happened. Why on earth did you wait a whole month to bring it to life?
ReplyDeleteL- Marshfield, WI
Dear Tequila Sunrise,
ReplyDeleteFirst stop, your friend.....!! Face your demons, don't let the other person have the power and you live in a state of confusion. A lot of things in this life may occur from us not being conscious of our actions but, we can always learn from them. The reason I accepted this question from all the others is, the lesson with this; "Stay in Control!" When you feel yourself slipping, or in a strange place, trust your own judgement to take you back to a safe place. You did that, but after doing so, something happened that you may or may not have said OK to. I would ask my friend to replay the night's events then have her log on and see our discussion. If you are really feeling spunky, ask her to explain the evening here, in our forum and give us what you seek, details! That's your homework assignment after day one. Keep us Posted!
Mr. Anatomy = H. Williams, MBA
I truly thank you for the responses I have received. Mr. Anatomy, after reading what you wrote this morning, I spoke to my friend this afternoon over a cup of coffee at Starbucks. I was completely surprised by the answer and she said she would be willing to come on the blog and tell what happened that night on the ship. I was very surprised at what I heard, but I did give her my permission to tell the whole story. She said she's been wanting to tell me all about it, but the whole ordeal wasn't to be discussed again, especially after my memory lapse. Mr. Anatomy, I did receive your email and I will take the initial consultation option to see how much time will be needed to sort through my problem. Do I just pay on the website or wait for your instructions to be emailed.
ReplyDeleteTequila Sunrise lady
I am the Friend of Tequila, I don't know where to start, but I thank you for this blog because I feel it has helped my friend and I sort through some issues that she was oblivious to. We have been friends since we were in middle school. We live in the same east coast city, but our busy schedules have kept us from being able to always be in each others lives. That is why she didn't realize that I have changed my life a bit. My husband of 17 years left me for his younger secretary and it reminded me that yet another man has let me down...(long story)I am not a lesbian and starting my journey with this alternative lifestyle. I told all of our friends this for the first time when we first boarded the ship. No one knew and everybody was shocked. We all agreed this was my life change and not theirs so I don't expect any of my friends to participate with me, or head to the Gay or Lesbian clubs with me! So, the night we went out, Tequila was flowing and my friend started asking all types of questions about my lifestyle. Then she asked if I enjoyed women equally like I love me. I kept trying to change the subject, but she wouldn't stop with the questions. As we kept drinking, she said, "what do you do when you don't have a girlfriend or are on the road away from others like you?" I answered her question, and I told her I had toys with me. She got excited and asked me if she could use them because she is (and I quote) an old foggie and didn't have any toys at home. Then she said, if I haven't ever used them, how will I know how, are you willing to give me a quick course. Long story short, we kept drinking the top shelf tequila and as we walked back to the ship, she kept talking about how she was gonna enjoy my toys. When we got to the room, she asked for the toys and instructions and that is how the night ended without getting too detailed on this blog. I helped her and she put her face in my woman place. Her rule all night was we can't talk about it tomorrow, no memories, no conversation she insisted. So why on earth do you drink if you can't remember what happened while you were hiding 5 margaritas and several shots.
ReplyDeleteDear Tequila and Friend of Tequila,
ReplyDeleteOh what web we weave....! It seems to me, based on the series of events, you were the aggressor to your friend! Your intoxication brought out your curiosity and the Christopher Columbus expeditionary efforts took over. I know it must have been a shock to finally uncover the truth, however, as a good friend has taught me, you must walk in your truth, because it belongs to you. It was good for you to talk to the source of where your questions began. Now, you are able to walk backwards in time to understand how all the events unfolded. Since this is your friend, I am sure you have a better grasp of how things transpired and the level of your personal involvement. I am anxious however, to explore your memory, now that you know what unfolded. Equally, I am glad you want to work with me in a Life Coaching capacity to help you come to terms with this cruise of the unknown; my email is the best means of contact and I have sent you some information and a questionnaire to get you started. Friend, thanks for shedding some light on this situation for her, and the bloggers.
Mr. Anatomy = H. Williams, MBA
Seem like to me, you wanted some freakie deakie and didnt know it 'till you got on the big boat and got drunk. Man, you gone have chalk dat one up to tha game. Everybody got a story like that one. Looka here, don't blame yo friend for what you did. All she did wuz let you get wat you wantd. and feel good bout it.
ReplyDelete