Mr. Anatomy,
I truly can't believe I am asking this question, but what that hell, nobody knows me, right? I am tapping into my inner most thoughts and trying my best to pull out something good. I have met this lady and the situation is far from PERFECT but I felt we have connected on a level all our own. She's in a rocky relationship and I'm just doing me; Not really committed to anyone but myself while I navigate this life. I didn't mean to meet anyone and I damn sure wasn't ready to call anyone my own, but hey, I have met this lady and she is clicking with me in places I didn't realize I still looked for. So far our friendship is perfect, our conversation is fun, and the awkward situations are always cleared with a smile. I guess the Question I am asking in the most basic way I know how is ......
"How do you know you have met someone really special? Someone that might be worth looking at for a possible future?"
Sir, from this point forward, I will address you as Mr. "Real Man!" I have selected this question because I love it when men think of others and expose their vulnerability to seek answers to questions we normally dismiss as "being Mushy!" Thanks for bringing your question to us and please remain available for the next 3 days to keep our discussion fruitfully productive! Bloggers, your time starts NOW!
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.com (send US your Questions anonymously)
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Plain and simply put: time Spend time with her get to know her without sex
ReplyDeleteI commend a man for being just that, a man. It's so nice to see you have feelings and want to make someone special. Mr. Anatomy, I try to live by something you said in your Hurchelism, the #10 one that says "if you like them, make it official!" Simple concept that a lot of men miss while they are trying to pull our panties down. There is never smoke and mirrors about who we want to sleep with because what you don't know is, we choose to be with who we want. What is refreshing about you is you seem to be choosing her. Take your time, slow down with sex, and get to know who she is. If you can be good friends, you can be good lovers, and you can be a good couple for the future!
ReplyDeleteLife and relationships are funny and the experts say people don't first center their love and understanding of one another with God first. Find out what makes the two of you unique towards one another and then grow from there. Ask the tough questions first and then proceed with the fun. Relationships can be forever if you put the right research into them first. I am overjoyed with emotion knowing men still ask the powerful questions like "How do you know if you have met someone really special?" That just warms my heart, God Bless you for your courage.
ReplyDeleteFirst Lady
First, u said she was in a "rocky relationship". As a relationship therapist, u know better. Sounds potentially messy no matter how good she makes u feel and vice versa. She needs to be free and clear before u move forward. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and the broken heart.
ReplyDeleteDear Mr. Real Man,
ReplyDeleteIn life, nothing is recreated or done that hasn't happened in the past. I say that to say, when you find Miss Right, your heart and soul speaks to you. Now, as Tracee outlined above, nothing comes without sacrifice or a little darkness to make something pure. You said "She's in a Rocky Relationship" and that has to be addressed. Find out what her intentions are for that relationship prior to sinking everything you have into her, BUT, and here is where MR. Anatomy's old time sayings may get him in trouble, (get out your pen): I always tell people, the best man or woman to have, is the person that is leaving a rocky relationship or divorce!! Why you ask, because they know EXACTLY what they don't want going forward! The two of you can grow and make decisions based on what's right, and not what's right now! Is there an exception to the rule, OF COURSE there is, but that is why my methods may seem a bit unorthodox at times. We are creatures of habit that learn through pain and gain! If there is no pain, there is NO heartfelt change. Not only do we have to fall, we have to break our nose to understand what we don't want for our future. (Ponder that for a second) So, let's review my stance, The best man or woman to start a new relationship with is someone who has experience it the wrong way! They are now ready for something fresh, new, and rewarding. (see my poem Transparency- www.anatomyofacheater.com/poetry/) That poem speaks of my own transgressions! I hope this has helped you.
Mr. Anatomy = H. Williams, MBA
Mr. Anatomy and Mr. Real Man, I'm glad to see you both are not afraid to make the connection needed to understand how to meet your own needs. Mr. Anatomy, you told him right, Man, don't be afraid of what a woman has endured, embrace that and see what she can offer you. Now, don't get yourself in a web of deceit, but see who she is, and if her heart matches yours. I am very unique because for years, I lived my life as a heterosexual man, who has now switched over and become a Gay man for all to admire. It wasn't until recently I embraced who I am and became whole within myself. My friends, this blog, and supporters a like, told me, "follow your heart" and it will lead you. Where I was still dating women to feel correct in society, I now have changed my pace and follow what I am, a STRONG gay man trying to reconnect with the church and the GOD I abandoned. Mr. Real Man, the way you know you have found the right person, or someone special, YOUR heart and soul will speak to you and say, "don't let this one get away!" Sometimes the signals are weak, but if you have all your "Bars" (like with AT&T) keep on talkin!
ReplyDeleteMatthew in ATL