Mr. Anatomy,
I'm a good "Mid Western Girl" and I have a question about sex within my marriage. One of my friends who says she met you personally on a plane suggested I request your help with my solution. I've been married 12 years to a really good man. We are not the most religious couple you'll meet, but we are Christians that are living as right as we know how. For the past 6 months or so, my husband has been insisting I perform an act on him during sex that I question whether or not is necessary for anyone to have a strong orgasm. He wants me to insert a "battery operated man organ" in his anus while he is pleasuring me. Our bedroom activity has always been successful in achieving the feeling we both desire, but he wants this act for his birthday and I am just NOT comfortable with going through with it. My Question is ........
"If a man wants a man organ inserted in himself during sex, does it mean he is bi-curious or desires another male to be happy during intercourse?"
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
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It does not necessarily mean that he is gay or bisexual just want to explore another type of sexual stimulation. A lot of men are stimulated sexually by the prostrate. I would have a conversation with him to find out if he is bisexual or curious about gay sex. I personally would try it once because I am sure there are things I would have asked him to try on me in 12 years that he may not have been comfortable with initially. I dont think there should be any inhibiitions in the bedroom other than something that could physically hurt the mate. Yeah, I am that kinda girl (lol)
ReplyDeleteI am sure he is not wanting another man!!! Maybe he wants to try something new if your not ok with it speak on it if you are willing to try little things to make him happy do so. No matter you have to be open to talk about sexually things in your marriage
ReplyDeleteUh rum Uhhhh......really?? That's what yall gon tell this lady in this day and time??? Talk yes, ask if he gay yeah, continue to have unprotected sex HELL NAW!!!! Come on yall I really feel and respect your opinions but that "birthday sex" is questionable!!! I jus don't know (and I don't know all men) but what man wants to be stimulated anally but a man who enjoys it from a male organ?? Whether its real or fake!! After 12yrs do you really think this is the first and only time and that he's only done it wit you?? How the hell does he know that he likes that?? Talk but PROTECT!!
ReplyDeleteYeah... I don't know of any straight man who would want this and yeah, in agreeing with the previous blogger sherita, i think that his acts are very questionable. I do believe in trying new things in the bedroom and exploring new stimulations, but when a MAN says he wants something inserted in his ass it sounds absolutely gay to me, and to be honest, you probably won't be the first person he's experienced this stimulation with, whether it was real or fake. I'm just saying dude sounds gay. Don't be fooled!!!
ReplyDeleteGreetings Ms. Midwest Girl and Ladies,
ReplyDeleteI'm not a gay man, but have used a dildo to stimulate my prostate once during masturbation. The dildo is designed not to tear tissue and allows the anal muscle to tighten around the object and increase pressure to the prostate. Thus method is often used in some Asian cultures for older men to maintain an erection during intercourse. Moreover, where the idea came for me to try it. Talk to ensure there is no desire for a man, but something new in bed for his birthday. He is coming to you as his wife to fulfill a fantasy that's all not to advertise that he is gay. Yes I'm aware of the down low Brahs but this is simply a request and no more than women who want their husbands to watch them have sex with another man or vise versatile. Sex within marriage must be fulfilling to avoid the partner from going elsewhere. Give him his present an not assume he his gay unless he has shown that suspicion.
I need to correct an earlier statement. In the Asian culture most of the men use spoons or smooth to soft objects for stimulation. Thanks
ReplyDeleteDear Ms. Midwest Girl,
ReplyDeleteWhile I have never experienced anything like you are explaining, it must be noted, everyone should have the opportunity to feel what they deem important to reach their personal required level of ecstasy. I have never believed a person should be labeled for how they desire to be administered to or how they want to feel. If after 12 years, you don't see a hint of him being homosexual, or even bi-sexual, then he is probably NOT! He's your husband, which means you should know him better than anyone. He is seeking a personal act, in the comfort of his own home with the woman he has chosen to live the rest of his life with. I always try to be open minded to what people feel is special to them. I've learned since doing this blog that nothing surprises me more than being in the same home but not totally understanding what your partner seeks to expand their own personal growth and exploration goals. My advice, try what he needs to feel different! Life can get a bit monotonous if you fail to talk about your feelings and how we want to feel in certain situations. It's no different than wanting to try a new dish at the dinner table. Everyone's taste buds are different and can expand or shrink with the change of age and maturity levels. Don't limit his growth because I am sure he wouldn't limit yours!
Mr. Anatomy = H. Williams, MBA
Bump dat!!! She betta invest in CONDOMS!!! Jus kidding Mr A!!! I feel ya but I aint grown dat much yet! Lol
ReplyDeleteMidwest Girl, I do not think your husband is bi-anything, as a woman in my late 60's, I can tell you many men have heard others talk about it and want to try it. They see it in films, etc. I did note that you mentioned you were a christian and had been married for several years. What goes on in someone's bedroom is their business BUT, it should be agreeable to both parties. As a christian couple, your husband probably wouldn't want you to do something you were uncomfortable with, so, if you explain that to him, perhaps he will understand, lovemaking is suppose to be "enjoyed" by both parties, and I'm afraid some resentment might develop if you feel forced to do something that you don't feel good about. Good communication is required on all subjects in a marriage. You have to do what is best for you and pray your husband understands.
ReplyDeleteJeanne, I feel exactly as you do. I love my husband and would like to believe I would do almost anything to please him, I am just not understanding why this is completely necessary. I want to be a submissive wife as spoke of in the bible, and he quotes scriptures to that effect, but I can't help but feel it's unnatural for something to go up his backside. I did, however, tell him I would try it, I just wanted other opinions. I see that Byron, you said you have tried it and seemingly liked it, but you didn't mention whether it was also done by your wife or partner as a means of togetherness. I love him unconditionally, but I am afraid, like sticking a Q-tip in my child's ear, I may go to far and I am sure that is not pleasurable. When I spoke to a few women at work about it, they sounded like a few ladies here. They concluded he must either has done it to himself, or has been done that way, either way, I don't feel comfortable asking him these types of questions for fear of what the answer might be!
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