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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I have done something that is strangely out of character for a man of my statue but I truly don't know how to stop this awful behavior. I would like to be life coached and now that you have my email address, I was hoping my first stop would be your blog to see if anyone else have gone through what I am. I am a man who have achieved a lot of success on many levels and women have never been a problem for me. I have been faithful in my 7 year marriage and I am certain she has too. My problem is I have been seeing another man for about 3 months. What started as some dumb type of fun, has become something I look forward to once or twice a week. I know a lot will be said and I was directed to your site by a really good friend of mine here on the west coast who you know well! Although I am being safe in my other activity, I am still having "relations" with my wife as well. My Question is ......
"Is there a psychological term for what I am going through? I am in my mid 40's, healthy and vibrant, but I can't understand how this has entered my life! Does this mean I am homosexual?"
Sir, from hence forward, I will address you as Mr. Inappropriate to outline the fact that you are dealing with two people of the opposite sex, with one being your legal wife. I have a mouthful to say, but I will allow my bloggers to have first "voice" and I will chime in later. Please remain available for any questions that may be asked of you.
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
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As a wife myself...let me clear my throat and say I had to read and re-read what you have brought us today sir. What you are is a man on the DL (downlow). You like it or you wouldnt still be doing it. You as a man need to let your wife know what you are doing and give her the opportunity to stay with you thru this or leave you the hell alone. I am a bisexual woman but I think men being bisexual is much different for some reason. Call me a hypocrite but I sure as hell wouldnt want to share no damn man with my husband.
ReplyDeleteOMG, let me begin by saying, yes I do believe that you have tapped into your homosexual side. But, also let me ask you a question : what does he do for you besides the sex?
ReplyDeleteWhat led you to this relationship? Do you still find pleasure in your wife? What are your true feelings with what you are doing.
ReplyDeleteAnother man n U ask if U are homo? seriously U already know the answer! From your post I am figuring this is your 1st relations with a man but can't be the 1st time U have THOUGHT of doing so. How in the hellabick did U get caught up in this? From a wife point of view .. if my husband came n said babe I have been having an affair with a man I probably would faint or hit him in his head with a cast iron skillet! See I have xhildren n sure wouldn't want to tell them their Dad is a homo especially having sons. I would be pissed off, pack yo s***, n U would be out! Cheating is cheating but to do so with the same sex hell naw!
ReplyDeleteLook ur cheating on your wife.. Put your self in her place ..How would u feel if your wife cheated on u? Same sex or not..? U would throw her and her shit out and u want to beat up the guy..u would feel so hurt..and pain and sitting there with tears and a drink trying to figure out what u did or did not do .next..u need to do some soul searching..and find out what u want...
ReplyDeleteSir.....let's do it like Alcoholics Anonymous. Hi, My name is Matthew and I am a Gay man. Now, it's your turn. I started out like you did and I was completely against my sexuality too. My issue was I hung out with two friends, a woman and a man, and I got touched inappropriately. I fought the titles, I fought being called gay because I was married once upon a time too, but at the end of the day, I am a homosexual performing homosexual acts with another man. Sir, I beg you to read these (2) blogs from the past. They both involve me and my down low experience. I fought being GAY but ultimately, I am. PLEASE READ these (2) links. They will help you! http://theanatomyofacheater.blogspot.com/2012/02/cant-grow-no-morethe-weekend.html#comment-form
ReplyDeletehttp://theanatomyofacheater.blogspot.com/2012/02/am-i-gay-or-am-i-confused-mon-tues-wed.html
Matthew ATL
I dont have anything against gay men or women but I think it is wrong for you to do this and not let her be aware of it. If you dont do anything else you need to go get the book the man himself wrote about it...On the Down Low by J L king...amazon has it for 10.97 I am so for real then after you read it get his wife's version on it.....If nothing else you might learn something from it
ReplyDeleteWell, well, well. I only can say who are you being true to? Do you love this guy? How did you get in this relationship? Have you always had this in you? Answer these questions so I can get my bog together for you. Again be honest to you and true to you!!!
ReplyDeleteYou sound like u have lost something in yourself. Sounds like u now disrespect yourself and u continue to act on this because u can't forgive yourself. It's like a drug. Once u do it u know its wrong, you don't know how to escape it!!! So u begin to self punish ur self by doing the exact thing ur trying to get away from. U want to continue the self destruction cuz it's easier then saying I fucked up and dealing with emotions that goes with it. U look forward to it cuz now it's became ur high!!! Hope u can soul search and weigh what is at stake if this does go public! It's doesn't just effect u. U need to be sure that if ur wife and child learn about this that u can deal with the hurt and devastation u will be putting them thru!! Good luck to u.. And remember all u have to do is ask god for his forgiveness and he will forgive u... But u too need to forgive urself
ReplyDeletecan you tell me this...are you the bottom or top. if you say top why not try it with your wife or is it something more to it. i have gay friends and ive heard them say a man giving a bj is better than a womans because his jaws are much stronger. i mean if its just that you like having anal sex how do you know your wife wont like it. there are some women out there who enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry it has taken me a moment to respond but I wanted to read every response and answer every questions posed of me. First, let me say this Mr. Willie Hudson, I am not gay!! To Ms. Monique, Same answer. My friend and I experimented with something called extacy to increase our passion at home with our wives. Well, one evening, we did it in the presence of one another and for some reason we were drawn towards each other. I can't explain it, it just happened. Well, we were sure to separate before the effects wore off because we didn't want to wake up next to each other, or feel crazy once the feeling went away. I have NEVER done anything like this, but whenever I try that pill, that same sensation comes back. Charice, he is a friend of over 20 years, so it's not sex that draws us together, and I love my wife dearly.Patricia, yes, this is the first time anything like this has happened. Thedra, I am soul searching now, that is why I am here being ridiculed. I have to find a way out of my own personal pleasure from this. Lena, I don't love him like you are probably referencing, NO, we are just friends of many years. Cherie, I have lost myself in a sense and I am trying to find my way back to ME. Sex at home can be non-existent at times and the same for my friend. We both feel bad about it but when we are alone watching football or something, we get to drinking and "Rollin" and shit happens. Also Cherie, I don't even want to get into the God aspect of this because I have a position at church and so does my friend, so that is a whole other subject. Brandy, what difference does it makes who's "pitching or who's catching" we have done it both ways!
ReplyDeleteI have tried Ecstasy ? Luved it ? Alcohol and Weed too! Luved it too .Guess what ?Got really Phucked? and happily Pleased a few Women on X. Pleased a few women til the Sun came up! And yes! a few times Me and the Fellas got High together Hanging Out. I have gotten so High ,I was contimplating my Existance in the Universe. But Never and I mean Never have I TOUCHED a Dick? OK, You can say " Your not Gay?" I say Bullshit! For a Short Time in my
ReplyDeleteWOW. the reason I said what I said was because if you were just into it to F**K him in th A** then why not do that with your own wife. But since you going all out with it I say come clean and let the cards lie where they may..
ReplyDeleteDear Mr. Inappropriate:
ReplyDeletePersonally I don't believe you are gay. Because of my spiritual beliefs and the knowledge that I have gained over the years, I feel you are suffering the consequences of the experimentation you partook in with the drugs. It has been my experience that anytime a person partakes in experimenting with drugs it opens doors that should never have been opened which allow for these kinds of things to happen. My personal opinion is that you should seek spiritual counsel, come clean with your wife and stop the drugs immediately as well as seeing your friend. Mr. Williams is a great source to turn to!! I will keep you in my prayers!! Bless you!!
Dr. Mr Inappropriate,
ReplyDeleteAs "YOU" know, I have delayed my response from "me to you" to give you an opportunity to talk to Matthew ATL so you can get a better understanding of the life "You" say you are not living! I just got the email from him that you guys have had the conversation, so I invite you to come on today to share your understanding from that new perspective. I know everyone has given you their ideas of what you are experiencing, so I will shoot straight from the hip as well. Sir, I don't believe in titles, I never have whether good or derogatory, but I do believe in calling a spade a spade, so, let's just agree that you are dealing in homosexual activity and as such, the life you are living may deem others to see you as a homosexual guy. I know Matthew told you, based on his email to me, you are in denial and would hope this activity would stop, but let's just say this. If I put on the gear and uniform of a deep sea diver, and dove into the sea where I was trained and continued to go down there, (in the water that is) wouldn't you eventually see me as a deep sea diver? Okay, enough about that; now, this activity is unbeknownst to your wife which is a major No-No in my book because of the ramifications anal sex caries. I'm talking hepatitis, and other disease in that area because of what comes out of that part of our body. Sir, I sincerely hope you discuss your wayward activities with your wife, my disclaimer, "While I don't condone Cheating, I do recognize that it does happen," and for this reason alone, you are playing with "House Money" and her health. Either come clean.....all the way clean, or stop the activity completely, get checked out and seek the help of a therapist. I have agreed to Life Coach you, but you may need me in conjunction with another. I know you and Matthew discussed the use and lack of use of protection, and to that I say, thanx for your honesty, but if we wear a rain coat sometimes and not all the time, you are bound to get wet when the clouds are dark and spitting out water. I look forward to your response, and because of the nature of this discussion, I will let it continue throughout the evening and change my blog question tomorrow after everyone has had a turn at replying!
Mr. Anatomy = Hurchel Williams, MBA Find him @ askMrAnatomy@anatomyofacheater.com