Dear Mr. Anatomy,
My life is spiraling out of control and I need a helping hand from you and your followers. I have been dating the same guy for over 6 years. We have invested in each other's lives from the very beginning and we continued to love and respect each other right up until we decided to get married. He asked me to marry him in front of my family and his and together, we've been planning a wedding since last summer. However, in December we had a big fight about money and our priorities for the future. While I didn't think it was that big of a deal, he cancelled our engagement and started spending time at his best friends house because he said he needed some space to sort through his feelings. I was still seeing him and having sex. In January, seeing him regularly became seeing him early in the week, and not on weekends! Then, out of no where, I didn't see him for one whole week. I called and called, but got no answer. Then, last Saturday, he finally returned my call and said something that has caused me to cry everyday, and take a leave of absence from work, as I type this to you. This Mother^#*ker said I got drunk and got married in Vegas!! Bullshit, I said....... Mr. Anatomy, my question is......"Are men truly that heartless and cruel to leave one relationship for another and get MARRIED? How do I move forward when I am in deep depression from the hurt and shame?"
Ma'am, I am so sorry this has happened to you, but I see this as a sign of the times in relationships. Before I give you my spin, I will allow my bloggers to crack this open and share their views. From hence forward, I will refer to you as "Ms. Heartbroken." Please remain available for any questions my followers my have for you.
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
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Ok I hope you been following and know that we gon give it you raw and uncut!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletewow....smdh....well I would think if he was this heartless then you my dear are better off. this is real life not a movie. I'm sure you are hurt n broken but take the time to heal and move on.
ReplyDeleteDear, it seems as if you're more worried over him than he is over you! Believe me, I've learned the hard way. Take care of yourself and in due time you'll find the strength to move on. I'm sorry this happened to you.
ReplyDeleteIn addition, this occurred because IMO this prepared you for how things could have been in the marriage. So you just run off when things get rough? No! You've been saved sweetie. Thank God for the lesson and cope with your hurt.
ReplyDeleteHE CALLED U TA C HOW U REALLY FEEL. HE WANTED A REACTION. HE KNOWS HE CAN GET IT ANOLLED (SPELL?) MEN LIKE CRAZY ATTENTION HONESTLY NO MATTER HOW ITS GIVEN. EITHER HE WANTED TA KNOW HOW MUCH U REALLY CARE OR HE IS TRYNA RID U. IF I WERE U ID TAKE A TRIP FOR A WEEKEND WITH A FRIEND OR TWO AN LIVE IT UP. IT MAY HURT BUT THE BEST WAY TO GET AT HIM IS GO LIVE LIKE HE NEVA EXSISTED. TAKE PIX LIKE UR SMILIN N HIS FACE AN POST THEM ON UR SOCIAL NETWORKS SO HE CAN C THA BEAUTIFUL WOMAN HE THOT HE LEFT BHIND. HE DID U A FAVOR AN LEFT U SO NOW U CAN LIVE AN SMILE WITH NO WORRIES.
ReplyDeleteI can do you one better! Screw him! You are too good for his games!
ReplyDeleteA man knows the role he wants a woman to play in his life before he even meets her. He chooses her based on what he sees in her. 6 years, a bogus proposal, and no marriage. Hopefully now you get it! You were never a priority to him, but merely a convenience. When a man wants to marry he woman... he simply marries her. #ABC123 -@AskCheyB
ReplyDeleteoh and you ask where the men are............THEY DRUNK IN VEGAS !!!!!!!! (GIRL DONT CRY BOUT DAT IT WAS A LIL FUNNY) GOODNITE....TIL TMRW
ReplyDeleteSPEECHLESS! Oh no! uh uh! NO! Cannot help with this one because all I would know is snapped. One thing, I do have to say is: we fall down, but we get up. Pick yourself up and PUSH. PUSH your way through this adversity of life. Do not allow depression to have power over your life. I am pissed and this is not my situation. I cannot imagine what you are going through, however; there is clearly somethings that need to be worked out. You know on second hand sometimes it is better to walk away with nothing and let go. Praying for you, girl.
ReplyDeleteHe wasn't yours sweety. And men just don't "get drunk" and get married to sm random girl. This been in the works for a while. My question is why did he even feel the need to call and Tell you that. He could of carried on with his life without saying nothing. Y'all had already gone a week without talking. Anyhow I went through a break up along time ago and my two favorite songs were "No More Rain" by Angie Stone and Doing Just Fine" by Boyz 2 Men. Pop those on cry it out and move on. All I ask is don't let this guy ruin you for the next
ReplyDeleteGirl keep it moving!! A life lesson learned. You will heal and go on!! You will still breathe even when you don't want to. You heart will still beat even when you want it to stop. Stay strong!! Oh and to him::::Fuck him and feed him fish!!! Keep it moving!!!
ReplyDeleteYes, we can be heartless and un thoughtful. Seems to me that he never wanted to get married in the first place. Honestly the moment he said he was going to his friends house cause he needs space means he needs an outlet and meeting place to fuck off with someone..you shouldve ended then
ReplyDeleteGirl keep it moving!! A life lesson learned. You will heal and go on!! You will still breathe even when you don't want to. You heart will still beat even when you want it to stop. Stay strong!! Oh and to him::::Fuck him and feed him fish!!! Keep it moving!!!
ReplyDeleteLadies, ladies, ladies ... the signs are ALWAYS there; If you don't recognize, LEARN; and know yourself. If you allow, they will. #simple
ReplyDeleteUnbelievable...Depending on the value of the ring..pawn it and take a much needed vacation to a tropical island and enjoy the view. Maybe Dexter St. Jacques will come strolling by...lol
ReplyDeleteMr. Anatomy, I so appreciate you using my story to help empower others. I didn't know you selected my issue until someone else brought it to my attention. I am hurt, confused, and completely turned away from MEN right now. This man slept with me on a regular basis, held me in his arms, and confessed his love for me, all the while going to be with someone else. What is this world coming to. We even got counseling in front of my pastor. I am about to take Matthew's advice, and call some of my old college Omega brothers to beat the holy hell out of him. I know that won't change anything, but it sure will make me feel better. My family is in shock, I mean, he is actually married to another lady. ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!! I thank each of you for your kind words.
ReplyDeleteHurt Real BAD
use this as a lesson learned. but learn from it don't let it happen again. don't let this make you feel a certain way towards men cause all men arent like this. it was very wrong of him to do you like he did. he will be calling on you when his bride messes over him and you can tell him now he sees how it feels. someone will come into your life when the time is right. whether it be another man or a woman if you are open to that.
ReplyDeleteLet me say this, I've been there and been that, and right now I'm helping someone who is going through this very, very.same.situation. The differences are that he told her after ten years he wanted.a woman with an,income bracket similar to his and he also is in some type of fraternity clicke that leaves their years long mate and marries a random new chick when as they each reach the top of their career platform. (DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS AND I DO CUT NINJAS!) The old me would have shot his house up with his own gun...(did that once); the old me would have painted derogatory words and phrases all over his house inside and out...(did that once); the old me would have beat his head up against the wall until that tiny red speck became a softball sized red stain and when realization set in he would be within inches of dying...(did that once too, dang this ain't about me).... My point is, you've had your heart broken, your world as you imagined it has evolved into a mass of confusion and uncontrollable emotions and you're hurtig. He might be just a tad bit bothered about how you feel about his situation but ultimately he has made his decision about you, he don't phuck with you but he would phuck you if he felt like it to the point that he eventually didn't even really want to do that to you anymore. He replaced you and then he weaned himself off of you., it's hard but it's what he did. Then to add insult to injury, since you won't stop calling him maybe since you hadn't taken his heed to the signs that the relationship had turned, jumped the river, and ultimately hit the bottom of the ocean, he felt like if he told you about his wife that you would leave him alone, as if any woman this much in Love with any man could quit cold turkey. You never paid enough attention in class did you? I mean, you may have gotten good grades but you probably don't remember any of the conversations that went on around you on the playground or in the cafeteria at lunchtime do you? He showed you then he told you, backwards I know, but its what he did. Now you're so hurt about how some icy watered vein dude treated you that you let this negatively affect how you feel about yourself as a human being? You're stupid, I can say this beach I've been you and I now know that I too was stupid. You better get up wash your face, brush your teeth and wash your ass. Fix you something hot to drink, eat you a sandwich, lay down and get some real sleep and wake up and start all over. Make you a note and tape it to your mirror and your tv that says you are beautifully and wonderfully made and you Love you! Get your ass back to work, order yourself some flowers and have them sent to your job and don't be talking to those fake broads at work about your problems, them broads will steer you wrong every time and laugh like hell about it. Find you a new place, move and don't be calling him to help you. Don't be calling fromdifferent numbers or blocking out your number cause you just have to hear his voice, he doesnt want you! Live your life without him! And be better than you ever were to yourself. You can and will get through, over and around this! He already started his life without you don't let yourself be his detour route. A detour is just a road you take while going from point a to point b, but you ultimately had it mapped out where you were going. Get back to living until you die and stop killing yourself.
ReplyDeleteBecause not beach*
ReplyDelete