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Mr. Anatomy,
I come to you with a heavy heart because in life, you always want to feel you have change inside of you. My story; I went away on a white collar crime for the duration of about 18 months. While away, I did some soul searching and had a long walk with myself about my past transgressions with women. I am a "Preacher's Kid" that always found joy in the pleasure of not just one woman, but the honesty in dating multiples. After my short stint away, I decided I would have a new lease on life, find one woman, and make her my world. As advertised, I did just that. Got a great job, worked my way up the ladder, and asked a lady of my dreams to marry me and currently we are engaged. We have been dating for 2 years, but engaged for 1 and recently, my mindset took a left turn. I was asked to lead a team to open a new restaurant in the Midwest so I left my "Atl" roots for about a month, while I dug deep into my career. Fiance' and I had an understanding, as NOW, we actually live together under one roof. While I was away, it seems the "Cat" wanted to play. The other night, while assisting my heavily intoxicated fiance' into bed, I was a gent and plugged her phone up on charge for the evening. When I did, a message notification popped up from her (Lesbian) co-worker wishing her a good night. Well, I did what I had NEVER done before and dug a little deeper into previous text messages. Low and behold, one read, "Look at me talking to you like we have never "P-lucked" before! To which my lady answered, "Yes we did, and it was good, and YOU know it's yours to have again!" My first reaction was to awake my drunk fiance' and get to the bottom of this, but I sat there and stared at her for what seemed like an eternity! When I finally came to terms with this, and questioned her, she said, "I thought you would be Okay with it, shit, it was a girl!" And I thought, "yeah, a Butch, at that!" My question is ............
"Should I feel bad about awakening the sleeping GIANT in myself again? I tried it the right way, and it seems I was kicked in the nuts like a do-good-er!" I feel disrespected and Bitch-slapped! I am about to do me again!
Question Accepted.....You will now be referred to as "Mr. HURT!" Please remain available for any questions my bloggers may have of you!
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.
Nah brah. Two wrongs don't make a right. Just because she did it doesn't mean u have too. I would put that engagement on a indefinite hold
ReplyDeleteIt seems that's the way it goes. Try loving someone that doesn't love u back but, constantly leads u on. U try hanging on thinking eventually it will work out and it doesn't. That's my dilemma.
ReplyDeleteWow okay... Choice #1 She stated, "You know it's yours to have again", She will continue to have an affair. No matter what U do, U can NOT satisfy her 100%. She wants her cake and to eat it 2 . Cant give her what she craves when U don't have "it" to give. If U stay with her this is what U will have to accept. Choice #2 U stated, "I am about to do me again". Meaning U all stay together but have affairs? That will get old real fast and U do not let one take U down to their level. Two wrongs =Not right! Choice #3 She goes on with her bi-sexual life and U move on to find that ONE SPECIAL woman who will treat U like a King. Give U all of herself, the "cookie" too will be all yours. Tameka, a person will treat U how U let them treat U. U take your power back and let that person see there is a person that will treat U like a Queen and I guarantee U they will step up to the plate to love U 110%whole heartly or they will move out of the way for U to receive that love U desire lady.
ReplyDeleteDude come to Memphis! Nuff said!
ReplyDeleteif she had of told you would you have been ok with it. now that you know what she craves why not add someone in your bedroom to spice it up.
ReplyDeleteMr HURT, don't go backwards, just move on. Whenever we vow to change we are tested. It's like the recovering alcoholic being surrounded by drinkers and feeling tempted. She is not worth a regression. You still deserve to have the love life and wife of your dreams.
ReplyDeleteI too am a "Preacher's Son" who was also a womanizer. I found my true heart's desire and fell deeply in love for the first time in my life. She passed away 9 years ago the 23rd of this month from a very painful case of ovarian cancer. I felt that God betrayed by tricking me into giving up the many for the one then taking her away from me in such a way I can never have her in my arms again. I thought about going back to my old ways but realized that it would be very wrong of me and for my much enriched life to backslide and revert to my former self. I have arrived with honors from the bitter cold and darkness I once lived within to finally bask in the soft light and warm glow of true love for the first time since I became a man. I have decided not too go back to my old ways and even though I have dated and have had sex several times, my heart and true love still belongs to my wife. During our beginning years before our marriage, I too discovered that she had been unfaithful in my absence due to my work with another female just like yours had. I was standing in your shoes milling over the very same options. I decided to sit and talk with her and expressed my thoughts, views and feelings on infidelity at any stage of a relationship be it with a member of the same sex or not. I did not become angry nor did I rant or rave. I spoke in a kind tongue and explained to her my feelings and my hope that she will never ever cross the line again. I know some may say that a leopard cannot change it's spots but a cheating heart can change just as mind did when I met her. Long story short, she understood and changed her ways and as far as I know remained as faithful to me as I had been to her until the time she went home. My love for her has become so great that I have come to realize that that part in the vows that speaks of "till death do us part" is an out right lie! That love in your heart never dies with the passing of your mate, it grows deeper and more intense... You love this woman, give her and yourself a second chance at true love. Forgive her and calmly talk with her about honesty and being faithful on all fronts. If she loves you as you do her, this will all pass and become a memory until it is forgotten. Now if you do not really love her, pick a fight, argue and dump her and go back to sleeping around like a mindless rabbit seeking what you once had but gave up because you could not forgive or forget and be the real man and leader of your household by just talking to your prospective wife turned ex because you went back to your old ways and you two split up or maybe by now have a body filled with STD's... THINK before acting! By you posting this blog, I know you love her and want her. So have a good heart to heart talk with her and if she does not want to give up the butch then let her go and God will provide another and much better woman for you and your life than the one you allowed to fly away. Oh, I do not feel cheated by God anymore. I have come to realize that my wife had ovarian cancer and lived in intense pain every day of her life. Death finally brought her comfort and peace. For that I am very happy and I know that we will be together again before long and for all eternity. I feel her around me all of the time and know that she is still in love with me from wherever she is as I am with her. You only get one true love in and for your life, if she is yours make your relationship work because it is worth more than a million other less love filled ones you could be having. Good luck with your decision and your relationship issues...
ReplyDelete2s a company..3s a crowd..go for it...3 somes all day!
ReplyDeleteThis is difficult to maneuver!
ReplyDeleteI am Mr hurt. I want everyone to understand that I have done the the way thing. I have done the swingers club thing. The problem with the situation is the emotional relationship that was established behind my back. I am 40 and she is 27, that may be a part of the issue. But I have only loved her and for the first time in my life tried to be faithful. But since it backfired what do I do? Because cheating seems to bring happiness. Even if for a little while...it still makes me happy. And gives me the necessary edge to move forward in my relationship.
ReplyDelete@Mr. Hurt, Michael Williams said it all! The comment you made included the age & experience difference. When you decided to do right by you life, you got with someone that had no CLUE of WANTING to live right. So that was like a self inflicted wound. PLEASE don't listen to comments like Brandy's....ain't NO GOD IN HER COMMENT AT ALL. She wants that 27 yr old's number. Oh by the way, Maturity makes the difference not age. A mature 27 would have been alright just like a mature 40 yr old. #GetRidOfHer&Heal4ATrueLove
ReplyDeleteDear Mr. Hurt,
ReplyDeleteThis topic is near and dear to my heart for several reasons, (1) because I have gotten to know you and you truly have tried to change from your past to someone respectable with direction for strength in your relationship. (2) I've been where you are, which is ultimately a cross road or sorts, and (3)I understand the pain you feel because I too was a serial cheater and most people don't understand the ins and outs of dating many ladies and what you get from each person. Ladies, when you date multiples, it becomes a way of life and an expectation from your surroundings. In a way, it's a cop out for dealing with issues as our subject is dealing with now. I wrote in my book, the reason a man stocks his cabinets (cheats) is to NEVER feel a certain pain that lying and infidelity gives US as a man. Then (and this may shock a few) but, when you decide to go straight and not cheat, the person you are with has gotten so use to you dividing your time, they look at you as if you are invading their space more than you should! (Crazy huh) When I cheated for a living, life with my significant other was great, however, when I decided to come in from the "infidelity rain," home would shake, even rattle a bit and cause me to take a long look at myself. (I know this is NOT true) but if felt as if life was better when there were outsiders. So, I said all that to say this. Sir, if you have made a self-commitment to NOT cheat, don't let anyone or anything pull you back from your progression to monogamy! Remember, your choice NOT to cheat was to make yourself whole, NOT for anyone else. When women ask me in seminars, "Mr. Anatomy, how do I keep my man from cheating?" I simply say, "be the best PERSON YOU know how to be, and everything else is up to him and how he views the relationship! Sir, take the high road, and if you love her, walk through this issue with her and explain why what she did IS forgiveable but hopefully NOT repeated.
Mr. Anatomy = Hurchel Williams, MBA, PHR
@Sherry Scott Chambers my comment has nothing to do with my religious beliefs. There are actually more people than you believe who live an alternative lifestyle. I believe in to each its own whatever floats your boat. And maem I don't need his 27 yr old womans number. Cause unlike her I don't deal with women who look like men. I am sure that since she has gotten a feel for that other lifestyle it is going to happen again she is just going to be way more careful to not let him find out. Just him talking to her wont do it. The lady she was dealing with is a co worker.
ReplyDeleteDon't not be discouraged by this event! It's just a little bit of karma, you will be fine. However; I do believe that she is still cheating . I would take time to reevaluate if she was really the one. Continue your journey of settling down. Don't look towards the past
ReplyDelete