*Since we are always answering questions for the betterment of others, I decided to this time, shed some light on how "ALLOWING 3-SOMES" can go wrong in a relationship. I am going to allow one of "Our Own," attempt to share her story. Often she gives advice about the casualties of what can go wrong when you open the doors of your relationship to others, in this topic, this week, she has agreed to tell her story, and speak of it openly in our forum. A little background; before she was happily married to a man, she was involved for years exclusively with another woman. After getting married, she and her husband had an agreement that they would together, still see women in their life. This is her story ........! She will be the 1st Post. I will address her as "Mrs. Struggle!"
Please take a moment to read and understand this lady's story. This could easily be You or someone you Know.
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So my husband said it was every man’s fantasy to have a bi woman and be involved in that type of lifestyle. So with me being secure in my relationship with him we decided to bring some spice to our bedroom. What started out as pleasant soon took a turn for the worse. The females that were chosen to join us on out of town ventures soon would be exchanging secret texts and phone calls with my husband without my knowledge. When I finally caught it, it was always denied by both parties even though I had the evidence to prove them both wrong. Much to say I lost trust in my husband and plenty of friends as well. So I shut down my guilty pleasures of straddling the fence as some would call it, and left the bi life behind. What I didn’t know is that my husband was seeing other women besides those that we shared together. Some would say I opened the door for it and some would say why he would do that if he had the best of both worlds right there at home. I have yet to figure it out myself. I guess some men are just GREEDY. They want it all no matter what. Well sleeping with women I knew nothing about and who were beneath me is a SMDH moment if I ever had one. After 5 years of marriage and plenty of Im leaving this time, we are still together. We are together currently, but there are no more 3 somes in our relationship. I don’t think it will ever be the same as it was in the beginning especially knowing that he brought me something home from one of his side chicks that I live with every day of my life.
ReplyDeleteOh my God i don't know how to say I'm so sorry for what has happen to you
ReplyDeleteTwo's company; three's a crowd. #morepeoplemoredrama
ReplyDeleteDamn...... It's every mans dream alright but I refuse to have a three some with my wife.
ReplyDeleteY not with your wife
ReplyDeleteBecause that's just asking for trouble. She might feel that I gave the the other woman to much attention. Hell she might enjoy her more than me then I'm really in trouble
ReplyDeleteOK I got your point. Both are valid also. Lol
ReplyDeleteRaymond Lee Jr. I can see exactly where you are coming from by not wanting to do something like this with your wife because you don't now how the end will turn out but that's just it. It was thought about before hand and discussed in great length and detail before it ever took place. This was all new to him. In the beginning he would be upset all the time saying I wasn't showing him enough attention. That he noticed I got wetter when we were with women than I did with him. So trust me we had our issues with it as well. We tried the SWINGER parties outside of just enjoying the atmosphere I could never get involved with that because Ive never had the notion of being with another man since Ive been with my husband so it was different for me. But I would rather him share stuff with me than with someone else. And we can be grown ups about what it was we did or didn't like about the situation and see if its something we can try again and the outcome be better. Which is what we actually did. I mean I went as far as sleeping with women I knew he was attracted to but did nothing for me to try to please him. And nothing I did was ever good enough to keep him from going out and venturing on his own. So what is there left to do?
ReplyDeleteI have a question for you, the lady in this blog. Do you take any responsibility for what happened? I mean, you invited women into your bedroom, so you must have known that if your husband didn't get what he wanted, as much as he wanted it, he would go elsewhere! We men are never satisfied with status quo. Like you, I was bisexual, and when we opened our bedroom, it was to other men. My wife had no idea, I was seeing men when she wasn't around. I ended up leaving her and now I live an alternative lifestyle. Be careful what you invite in.
ReplyDeleteNothing. You gave him his cake and fed it too him and he still wanted more...... He's just greedy..... As for as the complaints go......that's exactly why I won't do it. You start to see shit that ain't there.
ReplyDeleteNow that just sucks...soooo kind of him to catch something and share
ReplyDeleteMaybe that is why i didn't move forward with getting intertwined with that Love triangle, a few years back....
ReplyDeleteTo Anonymous....I do take some responsibility for what has happened. But I feel like if I trusted him enough to let him totally and completely in and was honest and open about everything then the least he could do was be the same way. I know couples who are in the same boat as I am. And I also know couples that are living fine because this is something they do together and only together. I just wanted the type of relationship that I didnt have to sneak around and worry about being caught cheating. Why cheat if you can enjoy it together. Living in this type of lifestyle you have to be mature enough to handle it and know what the boundaries are and arent. I dont think thats asking too much.
ReplyDeleteno its not every mans dream for a threesome.my man wouldnt do it ...neither would i .
ReplyDeleteSome men would never admit it for the fear that their mate would look at them differently if they were to admit some of the things they wouldnt mind experiencing
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you were insecure and was trying to keep an untrustworthy person happy. I just think you should leave the marriage. It is broken and doesn't seem like it is going to get better. Contracting something is heartbreaking but let's face it could have come from either one of you since you guys were apparently not practicing safe sex.
ReplyDelete@ Dea it may sound to you or others that I was insecure but that is the furthest thing from the truth. Now if it wouldve been made known in the beginning that my mate was the way he turned out to be then of course things would've turned out different. And I've always gotten check ups regularly. So to answer your 2nd assumption No it didn't come from me. The reason I posted my situation was to bring awareness to many things. .even tho you bend over backwards to please your mate they may not be ready or willing to do the same. .this is real life. This isn't a madeup story to gain attention. ...there are people out there going thru similar situations.
ReplyDeleteIt's true...The situation is very real. I know the poster personally and also lived in "The Lifestyle" with a former partner. The issue is character! The lifestyle can work if BOTH parties play by whatever rules work for them. I know a lot of functional couples who have been involved in that lifestyle for years and are happy, loving, trusting couples. It's truly about the individual. I am a man who had a woman who was unfaithful in the lifestyle with another man who was not in it. If you're a cheater, you're a cheater. It's a matter of discipline. We choose to cheat or not to cheat. There's no difference if the person your mate cheats with was a part of a threesome, a neighbor, co-worker or someone from the streets. People who cheat will cheat.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Struggle ,You and your husband are Stronger than Me? First off , I can not share my Wife or the Woman I am in Love with, I Can't ! Question ? What's " Better than Pussy?" Had to quote it out there like that...answer : " New Pussy" , ain't nothing like New,New. Buy a New Car an see. It's the same concept. But in your case You threw New Pussy at You Husband, like your last name was Manning? This is just my opinion but ,I am pretty sure he was a little skeptical at first saying stupid shit like " Fa Real , You gonna let me have Sex with another Woman." Bet he had one of the Biggest Smiles on his Face , after he so gladly accepted it. Now is he gonna change? I'd Like to say for the Love of You he will? To be Real & keep it 100! Hell to the No! Why should he? He is a Veteran Swinger now,knows the right places , speaks the Swinger Slang. If You separate he is still going to Swing? No if he brought something Home from one of his Poor Choice of Nasty Swinging Bitches? He just in this case , may need to be Forgiven? Cause when it comes to Swinging , the chances of contracting an STD is pretty High? You know this Mrs.Struggles ,it's Not like he has only a chick on the side an he is just screwing her? Problem is You put the lil puppy on the Porch, Now he's the Big Dawg on the Porch enjoying everything on the Porch.Why did you not just keep Yo Female on the side, an be quite? I would not take it as hard if my Wife had an affair with a Female. That Female just would have to know her position and stay there.
ReplyDelete@ Anonymous , So-So well said on the Cheater's words of wisdom. But in your case whom gave up whom? I have a cousin that once she found out that her Significant other was into Men,she gave him up. He did not have to decide if he Liked Men over Women? She gladly gave him up and his Life style. Everybody ain't down?
ReplyDelete@Willie good use of words. But instead of living a double life I wanted to have 1 life with my husband. And for us both to enjoy the benefits of him having a bisexual wife. The females he dealt with aren't even in the lifestyle. They r straight. It doesn't make any sense to me. And my friend who posted...thanks for your input.
ReplyDelete"I wanted to have 1 life with my husband. And for us both to enjoy the benefits of him having a bisexual wife." Just that comment alone left the doors open to a non-monogamous relationship? you picked the Chick,he should be Happy with that? He maybe thinking since you started it ? he is gonna Finish it. Gotta ask were you cheating with Females prior to inviting him to the Threesome Life Style? And did he have full knowledge you were sleeping around with Women Prior to your relationship?
ReplyDelete@ Willie, No I wasnt sleeping with chicks on the side beforehand. Yes he was well aware that I was bisexual when we got together.
ReplyDeleteDO YOU WANT TO PROVE YOU ARE TELLING THE TRUTH?
ReplyDeleteAre you ready to prove to your significant other that you have been faithful?
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