Today's question is simple, sweet, and to the point......
Simply, are you where you'd like to be today? Are you in the loving relationship you choose to be in?
Why or Why Not? or Are you simply existing until such time something new appears?
Do some soul searching with this questions and tell me who you see in the mirror!
H. Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Speaker,
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.com
Follow me on Twitter
Good Morning Fam....
ReplyDeleteI can say that I am in a good place in my life...I've been thru it, but I've also been blessed thru it...Never really had a real relationship before..many times I have loved, but haven't quite figured out if I was in love. Most of my life, it seems like all I really did was exist...I'm ready to LIVE! I recently met a very, very nice man; one who compliments me daily and uplifts me. I'm looking foward to the road ahead..
When I first was married, I thought I had married the love of my life and that is where I wanted to be, but it is so true that you do not know the person until after you marry them....even if you dated for several years. Yes, you may see some red flags while you are dating, but due to the fact that you "think" you love this person, you push it to the side and stay with that person.
ReplyDeleteI personally did not realize that my current husband is a controlling, emotional abuser until after I said "I DO". You might say, "You did not know this before hand?" Answer to the question is no.
Now that I am married, my worse fear has come true. I am living the life that my mother lived for several years...being controlled, physical and mental abuse. I guess it is true that as a woman we tend to look for qualities in our men that reflect our father. My husband is not physical yet, but I in my heart in any given time he can be.
Sad thing is that I do love him, but I always regret marrying him. Why dont I leave? To be honest, I dont think he will let me. Just yesterday he asked me, "Do you want to be married?" My reply, "NOT ALWAYS!" His answer, "Too bad because you are married now and forever."
So I truly understand those woman that are in an abusive relationship. As much as you dream and wish you could leave, these type of men have a hold on you. It is truly hard to walk away. Only faith and belief in God will allow you to continue on, and one day give you the strength to leave.
My mom truly believed in God and after 32 years of marriage to my father, she finally had the strength to leave. She had no regrets. Actually she got stronger.
She has now passed on (mom passed away on Mother's Day 2010), but I think of her strength all the time and pray that I one day will have the same.
I am not currently in an exclusive relationship but I do have living relationship around me. I have a guy that wil do anything for me and treats me like a queen but there is one hang up that keeps me from making it official. I am trying to work through this but think it will probably have to be addressed and worked on by the both of us in order for me to persue anything further with him. I am sure it will only take me addressing my concern to move forward. But there is something very scary about relationships. I am not afraid of committment persay but I am however terrified of committing to the wrong person. I almost did that once and thank GOD that he did not let me do what I wanted or thought I wanted to do. I am not simply exsisting I love and am loved but the thought of an exclusive relationship eludes me at the the moment. But soon and very soon...
ReplyDeleteNo... I am not in "The Loving Relationship" would I like to be? Of course. Am I ready now? Is yet another question. I would like to finish what I am trying to accomplish financial. If I could find a real woman that understood that I have a vision and hang in there ... I think I will be just fine I am not the "broke need a job brother" but I want my Eve to have her garden waiting on her like God planned it in the beginning . Right now I am happy and excited about whomever is chosen for me. I have seen the BAD and I know what it looks like... So the good one will shine through now;-).So no I am not just existing. I am PREPARING AND THAT IS HARD WORK!!!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous... Your comment is so touching .I will truly pray that you receive guidance in that situation.
ReplyDeleteAll of your comments were extremely touching and I sincerely thank you for letting me probe inside your thoughts! There was a reason I asked the question I did today and will lead to a part two tomorrow! Stay tuned!!!
ReplyDeleteWe were never promised a life if ease and sometimes its harder to step away, than it is to actually start! When you date, live together, and cohabitate for an extended number of years, you feel obligated and pressed to stay with the other person even when your heart says different! You wake up one day and life has literally passed you by!! My advice, live, learn, and have fun. Through the years, I may have been with multiples, but one thing was always certain, we did it in the name of FUN!
Thanks for sharing!
H. Williams, MBA
I'm personally striving everyday to find my happiness. I appear to be overwhelmed with joy most of the time by others, but let's just say I've learned to laugh at in the face of pain. I'm content but...definitely not where I thought I'd becat this point in my life. I trust and believe that God has a miraculous plan for me when he feels I'm ready.
ReplyDeleteAs far as love is concerned I'm cautiously maneuvering my way through the insanity of it all but very thirsty for an unbelievable type of love in my future...so on that note we'll see what tomorrow brings.
Latoya,
ReplyDeleteThanks for chiming in. In this life, we treat love like buying a new car. In the beginning, the nice new leather feels good on our butts and the new smell keeps us happy. However, a few months into it, we pull down the driveway and we notice a dent in the paint. That takes the "new" away, right away. Life is exactly what we make it, a day of ups, and a few days of frowns. Tomorrow will definitely give us some more things to ponder, but happiness is still the answer we seek, right? Physical or Mental....just happy.
Thanks for sharing Latoya,
H. Williams, MBA
Author JE....
ReplyDeleteYou have a breakthrough just beyond the horizon! You carry a special light within yourself and you are laying the groundwork for the right guy to come along and steal your heart however, be hesitant of his words and let his actions be your rule! You have discernment long beyond your years. Learn to listen to that voice that tingles without speaking. We all feel it, it's called our Gut Feeling, speak less, listen more. Treasure what's NOT Said!!!!!
H. Williams, MBA
...but buy what is seen! Thanks BigH!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous,
ReplyDeleteYou speak highly of your abusive relationship as well as your mothers (my condolences). Her life is done and spent 32 years trying to find happiness. You said,"my current husband is a controlling, emotional abuser". Do you think your love is that strong to change who he is? Love is a blind emotion used as a crutch to get through pain. In your case, look at your life before your husband and how it is now. Is he loving you the same or is he just getting off on controlling you because you won't stand up to him? You are married to a dangerous type of man...the Mysogynist (the controller). He has already established the control, then the abuser escalates and cuts you off from civilization. I know what the vows say, but that doesn't work for every marriage when we still are individuals first....value who you are and protect yourself...just my thoughts...it's your life and I hope you know what you are doing.......