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Mr. Anatomy,I stumbled on your site using Google and have read some of your reviews on giving advice and real answers. The consensus is you are a person who don't stray away from the unique questions people want to know the answer to. With that, I have a situation. I am an attorney from Florida who litigates for political interest. I've been married to my wife for 2 years and she is of Cuban descent. While she speaks Spanish, I don't. Well, in my absence, she has rekindled an old friendship with an old male best friend she knew while in high school. She secretly told me his is gay, and doesn't pose a threat in any way to our relationship, however, I noticed, they always speak to one another in Spanish in my presence which really has me wondering what is being said. They both are fluent in English but choose to speak in their native tongue in the presence of others. She hired his company to do our lawn work and our pool maintenance. Even though he's the owner of the company and don't do the work himself, he seems to be at my house every time his employees come out to work. My Question is .....
"Can a man and woman be platonic friends and trusted to do the "right" thing when no one is watching? and, How do I know he is truly Gay, are there tell tell signs?"
Your question is very unique in nature and as such, has been selected to take the Anatomy fanz and bloggers into the weekend. While I definitely have my opinion about platonic friendships with men and women, I will let my trusted bloggers address your concerns before I chime in. Bloggers, have at it, and thanks for being so loyal! Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.com (send US your Questions anonymously)
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The pool guy always gets the poontang!!!!!!! And they are laughing about it in Spanish.
ReplyDeleteYes, they can be platonic friends, but you should also bring to your wife attention that you prefer for her to speak English keep it 100. If it is so Platonic , why don't they speak English so you can know what they are talking about? I think that is disrespectful.. One day you should go to work when he is there and sneak back home and see if it is true what your wife is saying... HMMMMM.. Which lawn is he Mowing? I know that ran across your mind to do so as well I am just saying what you are thinking.. (smile) (lol) just a thought sneak up because i feel you are not secure with their relationship if you were you would not bring it to the attention of others.. Just be careful it really don't sound too HONEST with your wife..
ReplyDeleteTHEY F!*%ing!!!!!!!!!!!! CASE CLOSED!!!!!!!!!!!! OH and if he gay Denzel Washington is gay!!! NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteok seriously, the fact that you even ask thgis question means you have doubts, if she doesnt respect you enough to not speak in "code" around you then it says something about your relationship. I tell you what you should do , secretly take some spanish lessons and bust both they ass out the water!!!! you aint even gotta understand what they sayin, just bust out one day in the midst of they conversation ans in spanish say...." YALL GOT ME F'D UP"!!!!!! they wont know that you dont understand them and wonder if you do!!!!!!!
Your wife is cheating on you in your face. She has the best of both worlds, and making an ass out of you at the same time. It's all to easy for a woman to say a man is a friend and it is so much more then that. If all they were was friend they would respect you more and speak English when you are around. But that's not what's being done. And why is he at your house when you're not there? It doesn't matter what type of company he has, he should not be at your house when your not home. Your wife is really not respecting you as a man and is showing you that every time he's around. And the bad part to all of this, is that you are paying him to disrespect you..... You are a man you know the game when you see it.... Stop playing!!
ReplyDeleteI have asked her several times and she says they are not involved in a sexual relationship. I trust her and believe that what she is saying in correct. I travel 2 or 3 days a week and we talk all the time on the phone. I am just curious because he seems to always be at our house. I try to understand, but she's happy having a friend around. She's never given me any indication that I'm not making her happy. I am going to reach out to him and ask him to stay away when I'm not at home because it's making we worry just a bit. I also have been talking to neighbors and they say he normally is not there at night when I'm away. I'm a very trusting individual.
ReplyDeleteDear Attorney,
ReplyDeleteLet me be as Frank as possible; I don't know your relationship, and I don't know your personal situation, but, I do know how to read between the lines. MEN don't hang around unless there is a reason for us to hang around! My slogan, "Adults to what Adults want to do" means if an Adult can get away with something, we will try it! You have to read the actions of the situation. If they are speaking in Spanish when others are around, this means you are NOT suppose to understand or comprehend what's being said, hence, there is something to hide. As for him being Gay, I doubt it very seriously, that was to back your suspicions off and make you think there is no desire, however, a man with a pole, is a man who seeks a hole! NEVER forget that. Even GAY men follow their instincts every now and again, that is the hidden secret few truly understand. I wouldn't bust them right away, just continue to research her actions while in his presence. When we catch people cheating and show our hand, it just makes them stop momentarily and retool their efforts, meaning, they do it better. Let it work its course and build your case before approaching. Mr. Anatomy only deals in "facts" not happen-stance! When you have all the facts, approach her with your findings!
Mr. Anatomy = H. Williams, MBA
I will say This, This is textbook cheating! There was a case here in TN a few years ago with similar facts to your situation and the American husband was murdered by the foreign garedner/pool guy/lover. I think you should check on your financial situation immediately and speak to your attorney asap about hiring you a private detective to document your allegations of infidelity and try to get a quick and painless Divorce if possible. Right now it seems like you know the truth but you are afraid to believe it. I just hope that you investigate to find out if your suspicions are true or not. Another option is taking a course in spanish and trying to learn a different language because it can definitely come in handy in all professions and if your wife isn't cheating, as you suspect, then maybe you it could help you try to make your wife feel like you truly appreciate her and want to make her more comfortable With her heritage. Most people generally know when something isn't right in their relationship and it sounds like you know but need some assurance to your allegations and I truly wish you luck in finding that out. It is my experience with my gay friends and family members that they hardly ever go that long without bringing their lover over to size up a friends mate, especially gay men. They generally think that their sexual pleasures should be shared by all men and they are always looking for straight men who like private discreet encounters with a gay man and/or a straight man who would enjoy just looking at gay men make out in the hopes of turning a straight guy out. Just like most men like to be some woman/girls first sexual experience, so does the gay man with a straight man. This situation isn't rocket science. That is just my opinion
ReplyDeleteI have read everything from everybody and I liked what you had to say Ms. Kimberly Michelle. I have one of my colleagues hiring a private investigator. While I don't expect anything to come of it, it will go a long way as to soothing my suspicions. I knew there would be cultural differences, but that goes with the territory when you marry outside of your race. Thank you to everyone that answered. I am eternally grateful! Thanks Mr. Anatomy of a Cheater.
ReplyDelete