Mr. Anatomy,
I read somewhere where some of your talents include relationship counseling and sex therapy. When I saw that report and read some of the questions your followers asked, I let my guard down as a man, to find out the fundamental things that make a woman curl her toes. My girl and I have been dating for 5 years and we are committed to one another but when we make love, I can't help but feel like it's routine and we have both become complacent with trying to make it better. She and I don't talk about it but I know I have lost some of the magic from years ago. My Question is ........
"How do you truly know your woman is being pleased during sexual intercourse? What can I do to assure a positive sexual relationship long into the future?"
The Franchise of Anatomy of a Cheater takes great pride in helping the masses find the best of who they are and then pull it to the forefront of who a person may become. Yes, as you have outlined, sexual therapy and counseling is one of the services that I incorporate under my umbrella. From hence forward, I will address you as Mr. "Man-Answers" and give you my full attention once our bloggers have had an opportunity to offer their opinions. Please remain available for 3 days to any question our forum may have. Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.com (send US your Questions anonymously)
www.cafepress.com/anatomyofacheater (purchase OUR merchandise)
www.anatomyofacheater.com (visit OUR website)
http://twitter.com/anatomyofacheat (follow US on Twitter)
https://www.facebook.com/anatomyofacheater71 (like US on Facebook)
Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.com (send US your Questions anonymously)
www.cafepress.com/anatomyofacheater (purchase OUR merchandise)
www.anatomyofacheater.com (visit OUR website)
http://twitter.com/anatomyofacheat (follow US on Twitter)
https://www.facebook.com/anatomyofacheater71 (like US on Facebook)
Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.
Simply tell her how you feel and ask her what she needs and or wants to get that spark back
ReplyDeleteThe simple act of communication. Just as you think or feel that there is a lull or things have become routine she probably is thinking the same thing. The easy fixes are to go to an adult novelty store, invest in lingerie, toys, and adult themed books. Watch porn together. But the most effective and long term fix is developing intimacy. Ask her what would she like to try. Show an interest by doing some research yourself on things that you are not familiar with. Under no circumstances ask her "why you want to try that? Have you ever done that and if so with who?" You dont want her to feel like you are judging her. Some women hold back any indication of the existence of a hoe tendacy out of fear that their mates would loose respect.
ReplyDeleteAlso, make sure that you relax. It is supposed to be an atmosphere or sharing and acceptance. It can get a little scary letting down your inhabitions.
ReplyDeleteHere are some pointers that work both ways: 1. come home without saying a word embrace her from behind, slide your hand in her underwear and massage her clitoris while you whisper in her ear everything you are going to do to her that evening Then stop as though nothing has happened. Go to the bathroom and run her a bath. Go back and take her to the bathroom and silently undress her. Bath her (do not allow her to do anything) Dry her off. Lead her to the bedroom and apply lotion to her body. Slowly make love to her (now this next part is VERY important) Never loose eye contact 2. At any given time make your house a love nest. Unexpectedly walk in the same room that she is in completely naked make eye contact and just walk out 3.Foot massages, massages, fruit fed to her all while she listens to the sound of your voice telling her why and how you find her to be the sexiest woman in the world to you 4. love notes Invest in post it notes and all over the house leave reasons why you love her All of these will undoubtedly lead to some sparks in the love life but they will also build intimacy in the relationship
ReplyDeleteDeatries,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the step by step process that I have completely gotten away from. As men, we think all we have to do is give her the business and let it go from there. After 5 years, do you think she would really respond to all of that? Whenever I try to do something different I get that look like, WTF, is this really happening? I want to bring the magic back because this is the relationship that's real for me. I'm gonna try everything I can make this real!
Im single and DP makes me want to............................... ¶π√¢
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, it does not matter how long you guys have been together a little effort will work. Please remember that on a separate occasion prior to putting all of these things in motion the two of you would have sat down and conversed on the things that you would like in your relationship sexually. Spontaneity can be one of the things that you say you want. If she expresses reluctance or resistance to adding some spice to the bedroom. It is in all probability something else going on. Stay at communicationing. Be direct ask her if something is bothering her. Could be health, work, stress, self conciousness about weight, or just plain ole being tired as hell. Whatever she tells you (if there is anything) dont become defensive. Instead ask her, how do you think you guys can work on fixing it.With women the biggest part of communication is having her man actively LISTEN to her. Make that time it will go a long way. It doesnt have to be anything grand. Coming home from work and inviting her to join you on the patio for a glass of wine (or a place of your choosing)because you want to hear about her day. Remember this is to build intimacy so all cell phones and television off. It is all about her. I know that all of this does not seem to be connected to the physical act but it really is. Women have to be romance and parton my next phrased "mind fucked silly" to be putty in your hands. Trust me my brotha ALL of this works if it is simply a case of things going stale in the bedroom. If there is an issue of violence, infidelity, or addiction those things need the attention of a licensed professional
ReplyDelete^^romanced and pardon
ReplyDeleteWomen:
ReplyDeleteAnother one that I have recommended to my friends and have worked fabulously is something I call Twelve days of Christmas. (or any holiday event or occasion). Twelve days before Christmas. Women greet your mate at the door when he comes home (or before you go to bed) with newly purchased lingerie. Do a variety from pristine elegant to down right slutty (I recommend as it gets closer to the day it more and more raunchy) Dont just hurriedly get in bed, model it for him. Ask him to undress you. Tell him this is all for him. The message that you want to send is that you are making an effort toward him. The key to this is you got to be consistent for 12 days yes that means twelve days of sexual activity!!! Make it fun put some teasing in it. Dont go all on some night make it an oral sex night or whatever is his favorite that you may have gotten out of the habit of doing over time.
Women: Be his Deliah. Let him lay his head in your lap. Feed him fruit. Listen to his troubles. Give this man a foot massage. Massage his shoulders. Let HIM know that you think that he is the only ONE that is for you and who does it for you. Most of all leave any defensive out of the moment and just LISTEN to what he is saying Men also need intimacy and for most men to be treated as though he is king in his house (without degrading his mate) ensues that he can let his guard down
ReplyDeleteDear Mr. Man Answers,
ReplyDeleteAs always, Mr. Anatomy is going to put a completely different spin on how I view long-term, serious intimacy! You said you and your girl have been dating for 5 years and you guys are committed to one another. OK, then why haven't you made it "OFFICIAL?" Go to www.anatomyofacheater.com/hurchelism/ and study my rules to a Real-Warding relationship! #10 says, ..... "reward the situation by making it OFFICIAL!" It has been proven that when the meaningless tag of girlfriend is replaced with "my wife" romance takes on a completely different take because psychologically, the woman feels a part of something and not just like yesterday's newspaper, something that can be thrown out once you have read all the articles! Through my research, my findings are, people connect differently when they feel a serious commitment of love is there. I counsel women all the time and I say, "If he straggles longer than 2 maybe 3 years without a marriage commitment, there is probably a reason. Now, I can give you several ways to make her toes curl and direction to provide deep seated, deep rooted passion, but first, make sure she is the only woman in her mind that will be sacred for life. I don't care what she tells you about how KOOL she feels about the relationship, and how fine she is with the current status, remember this, a little girl's dream is to one day be someone's wife, not someone's girlfriend. (repeat that, the sounds are totally different)
I will be back once you've had a chance to digest that!
Mr. Anatomy = Hurchel Williams,MBA
Mr. Anatomy, I never saw it that way, I was trying to achieve a certain level of success prior to asking her to marry me. She understands my direction but like the movie, we've had a Five year unspoken engagement. I now feel so bad because I haven't considered her feelings and we probably need to discuss that. Here I am thinking of how I can have serious sex, but I didn't even consider the obvious that right before me. I knew there was a reason I was directed to Anatomy of a cheater.
ReplyDeleteDear Mr. Man Answers,
ReplyDeleteI read your response a several of hours ago and it really touched my heart. I couldn't go to sleep without posting what was going through my head. First of all you seem like a man with a good heart and a desire to do the right thing as well as having a teachable spirit. What I mean by teachable is you are humble enough to hear truth and act on it! That is a very admirable trait and especially in the eyes of God.
Does your lady support you and encourage you in your endeavors, if so then make her your helpmate. I am sure you have heard it said that behind every successful man is a good woman. Allow her to be that good woman helpmate to get you to that level of success you desire. Genesis 2:18 reflects the fact that God created a helper for man which is the woman. Allow her to be what God intended for a woman to be in a man,s life. Learn about the roles in a relationship based on God's word and live it. When you do that I guarantee true intimacy will follow. It will also give her a sense of purpose in your life. God intended man and woman to become as one and that encompasses two working together with the same goals in mind. This helps develop intimacy as well.
I don't know where you are spiritually but there is no time like the present to search the scriptures for guidance. The Song of Solomon is a book in the old testament of the Bible. It is a dialogue between a young woman and her lover. In one commentary that I have read it mentions that The Song of Solomon celebrates human love and the sensuous mystical quality of erotic desire. The Word of God has a lot to say about love and relationships.
Just by your response indicates that you are headed on the right course because you are open to seeing yourself truthfully and accepting some constructive correction. If you continue to seek truth, listen and act on it you are going to be fine. Hopefully she will follow!! As the bloggers before me mentioned, communicate!! Communication is vital in a relationship!!! Blessings on your efforts as you move forward from here!!!
Mr. Anatomy I give major kudos in your response. What a perspective really enjoyed the response. Validation will definitely affect how a woman responds to her mate. Cindy Hubbard that was simply beautiful how you summed this up.
ReplyDeleteThank you Dea! You are truly a remarkable woman of the Lord my dear!!
DeleteThanks CindyLou I really enjoy your feedback and your comments
DeleteMr. Anatomy, thanks for opening the flood gates of ideas and where I should be. I went to dinner last night and I asked my fiance' to marry me. I have always had my Grandma's ring, but I guess I never understood how important it was for my lady to belong or feel as she is a part of something. I was so busy working trying to make a great life for our future, that I missed the important piece of who we are, the sincere essence of my love for her. Cindy, I am a very spiritual man and actually, I met my fiance' in church. She was my nephew's Sunday school's teacher. We are steadfast in the LORD and I am so overwhelmed with joy over what was right under my nose. Deatries Paige, I join you in thanking Mr. Anatomy for his different spin, he may have just gotten me a wife!
ReplyDeleteWow Mr Man Answers,
ReplyDeleteI am so so excited for you two!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! That is truly awesome!!!
Mr Anatomy,
ReplyDeleteI too join Dea and Mr. Man Answers in giving you a double Kudos for your response. You have once again made a remarkable difference in another's life that will be changed forever. Blessings to you for all that you do for others!!!!
Mr. Anatomy, I got a few questions since you are changing lives and all!! Where were you when I was looking for a good husband? I mean, I got a man, but he wasn't the best for me but when I was younger, you married for security and you learned to love later. Nowadays, people are actually liking the sex that they are having with their husband and not having to look at the ceiling and count the little specs to challenge themselves during the process. Mr. Anatomy, you are truly catching on here on the East Coast because my friend called me from The Bronx and said she read on Facebook that you had got some lucky lady a ring. Well, Ms. Erma can barely navigate this damn blog, I don't know nothing about trying to get on Facebook, or tweeter either. Keep giving advice, people liking you a lot!
ReplyDeleteMs. Erma - New York
Mr. Anatomy,
ReplyDeleteYour influence is really starting to infiltrate mainstream thinking. Your thoughts, while completely your own, should be embraced and seriously listened to by the younger generation that feel they have all the answers to what makes a male and female relationship special. Relationships are so NOT about sex and more about morality and a firm foundation in Jesus Christ. Mr. Anatomy, I haven't met you yet, but my goal is to shake your hand for all of the positive testimonies you are creating. You are the next big thing and everyone should seriously think of getting behind you to find a purpose in themselves. Every now and again, we need someone who says the things that we need to hear, even if they say it in a format that may be a bit off the beaten path. What use to work, has passed us by, I congratulate you for having the courage to get to the same ending, taking a different path! Ms. Erma, I'm up here in Newark, NJ and I have heard his influence whispered about in my church and at the beauty shops in town. Come on Mr. Anatomy, we are waiting for that first book!
First Lady - NJ
World wide babyyyyyy!!!
ReplyDeleteMr. Anatomy, I am the young lady who is the girlfriend of Mr. Man-Answers and I have to thank you. My Fiance' just informed me of your website by logging on and leaving the room. Of course, my curiosity got the best of me and I started to read not knowing you had everything to do with his surprise proposal last night at dinner. He was one who wanted everything to be perfect and has been working to ensure we have all we need before we talked of having children or spending the rest of our lives together. I am in tears knowing there is someone who thinks of the moral part of living a life with a man, and not just the physical aspect. I have been wanting this forever, but I wasn't about to question his motives or passion to be the man of his house. We live in Mississippi and if you are willing, I feel the right thing to do is to have you be a part of our ceremony. You are the reason this is happening and being here would touch my heart and let me know God hears prayers. I know you are a successful writer and small town Canton, MS is asking a lot, but please know your presence would be a big deal here!
ReplyDeleteJasmine M.
Mr. Man Answer,
ReplyDeleteCongrats and may you and your bride find new heights with GOD's grace. Happy for you both...
Awwwwww I'm in tears fa real!!! Congratulations to both of you and Mr Anatomy!!!!!
ReplyDeleteChanging lives one blog at a time .....Mr Anatomy is his name
ReplyDeleteBig Hurch....You are changing lives...one at a time....with that gift, comes great responsibility! Real love does exist...people just have to be willing to go the distance to make it work and keep it working for them and not everyone around them...Congrats H!!!
ReplyDeleteTo the NEWLY Engaged Couple and Everyone who has expressed gratitude to Mr. Anatomy:
ReplyDeleteWhile I would love to accept the credit for making a wonderful relationship whole, my goal is to just share my thoughts and information through research to make any union complete. Take a look at my poem Transparency (www.anatomyofacheater.com/poetry)In that poem, I show you the essence of why I do what I do! In the opening sentence, "I tried it the wrong way, and often times succeeded" explains that even though I knew I was wrong, and succeeded, inside, I was left with an emptiness that told me I was breaking hearts and souls along the way. I say to myself, if I can use my experiences to point out how to help others, mainly women, then I will leave a positive mark on society. Every saying I share has a deep meaning, like when I say, When you KNOW better, you DO better! IF you learn along the way that a part of your persona needs improvement, learn, change, and share your findings with others! Congrats to the new couple, find your truth in each other through your personal belief in your faith!
Mr. Anatomy = Hurchel Williams, MBA