I have a slight problem that I sure hope you are able to help me with. My husband is 11 years older than me and our sex life has taken a turn towards boredom. I still love and adore him because he gives me so much more than just physical attention, but sometimes my body is left lacking what it needs to complete a intimacy session. It is so routine, the other night, I fell asleep during the act. I purchased a toy to assist with my problem on my own time. My husband is adamantly against the use of toys so when he found it still in the package in my hiding spot, I told him I had purchased it as a gag gift for a friend at work. My question is:
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
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Once again........ you never said he was mind reader so therefore I feel it's better if you sit down with your husband and simply tell him how you feel because he could very well think everything is going just fine. First approach it by telling him you lied about the toy and then tell him why you lied and why it was necessary for you to purchase it in the first place. Do something different to him maybe that will let him know you are interested in exploring things sexually with him things that you want to try.
ReplyDeleteDear Ms. Unsatisfied,
ReplyDeleteGo to him with a humble heart, confess your lie and ask him to forgive you. When you approach others with a sincere humble heart it melts theirs. Communicate to him your feelings and the reason behind your lie as well as why the toy was purchased in the first place as Monique suggested. Honest communication in a relationship is vital!!
Ms. Unsatisfied
ReplyDeleteBefore you go to your husband and bruise/wound his ego further please do some investigation. You stated that there is an 11 year gap in age, could his performance be due to age? Maybe stress? Have you looked into some other types of sexual activities to "spice" up the bedroom? He may have turned down toys, but what of other methods of foreplay? Invest in some adult manuels and lingerie coupled with smells, do some research and gradually introduce them into the bedroom. Then talk to him after you have done a little bit more. There is nothing more fragile than the ego of a man.
Excellent advice Dea!!!
DeleteDear Ms. Unsatisfied,
ReplyDeleteIn the world we live in, lying get's us absolutely no where, even when we think it is justified. You can never hold against your husband that he is not satisfying you if you don't let him know he is NOT achieving your goals. Believe it or not, some men don't know when they aren't giving you what you need. You had the perfect conversation starter when he found your toy, but rather than open the door, you chose to back up because you know his stance on toys. If you can't stand up for what you believe in, why on earth would you buy it? You are both adults, so you have to tell your husband the truth, and start by first apologizing for lying!
Mr. Anatomy = Hurchel Williams, MBA