Mr. Anatomy, http://theanatomyofacheater.blogspot.com/2012/01/mr.html#comment-form
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Do you Remember me, "Tempted and Willing?" I was your blog question on January 30, 2012. I was just a lonely woman at home who wasn't getting her fill of what she needed, so I toyed around with the "Young Gun" from the mail room! Well, it's June now and a lot has changed. My husband and I are divorced. I got the house, my car, and half of most of our possessions. It was a reasonable split and it didn't get nasty. My husband had a secret life that was revealed in court and me and my youngster turned up the heat a bit. I have also been promoted to Vice President and I pulled "Young Gun" out of the mail room as he is now a "Young Executive" and doing well. I've asked him to move in several times, but his answer is the same, "Your husband is the (not gonna say it) and that is still scary for me!" My Question is.....
Ms. Tempted and Willing, I remember you, oh boy do I remember you! I don't know whether to congratulate you or just hold my breath for the rest of the ride. Happiness comes in many different forms and you seem to have found what best suits you. I will allow my bloggers to address you first, then I will render my opinion. As always, stay available for any questions that may arise.
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
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Of course a woman can propose marriage. You need to reassure "Young Gun" that he is your future and you love him for all that he is. As far as comparison to your ex husband, your ex is an ex for a reason and he is your past, he can not compare your past relationships to your present one and vice versa. Another fact, nowadays a lot of women are more successful or are even the bread makers for their families, that really should not be an issue.
ReplyDeleteIs there possibly another underlining issue why he may not be ready for marriage?
It has been less than a year since your worldwind affair, your divorce and the discovery of your husband's secret life. You may not think it, but you need to give yourself some time to heal mentally and emotionally. I really think that you should spend some time with yourself or get in some type of counseling because so much is jumbled up in this situation. As women we are often warned, if he will cheat with you he will cheat on you. Let's face it, you are playing the pwer role in this relationship. You hold all the strings. Your young man is backing off and trying to slow this train down because he may view you as the woman that cheated with him, so why wouldnt you cheat on him if you became bored or angry about something.
ReplyDeleteI have gone back and read what you wrote back in January and compared it to where you are now. So you think you want to marry young gun, but the question is, does he want to marry you? Do you have a motive here? Do you love him? I think you are now realizing you are by yourself and while I think you can provide for yourself, I think reality tells you, young gun is truly that, YOUNG, and with him being 25, you are trying to lock him down before his eyes start to wander from the Cougar. I am not trying to be harsh, just honest. When we start a relationship built on passion, temptation, and backroom flirting, when you finish hiding, the magic is gone. Does young gun have any idea you want to marry him because where will he live? You just said he won't move in with you for fear of his husband.
ReplyDeleteWhite Chocolate - Montana
Are you crazy didn't you just say u just got out of a marriage less than 6 months ago and you want remarry the ink is barely dry!! How about doing you for a little while...He was in the mail room you gave him his job hello what are his goals for the future are you willing to support him for the rest of your relationship? Your in lust not love slow down if he is meant to be he will be there an a year are so date him don't marry him!!!
ReplyDeleteMs. Tempting and Willing,
ReplyDeleteWelcome back and I'm surprised by the update. I'm concerned not only with your question but the future of "young gun" if he doesn't give you what you want? Will you fire him or make him your puppet? I don't believe he wants marriage and neither should you. I agree with Ladies and believe you should restore yourself after your negative experience with your ex. Please don't back this youngster into a corner since you are his boss. Don't use the power of influence and protect your character.
Hi Everyone, all of you have to understand, there is no ulterior motive other than love. Me and Young Gun have been enjoying each other since day one so I am trying to make it official. Jacklyn, I am doing me, and doing me involves being with the youngster that I love. I wouldn't be thinking of marrying him if he hadn't made mention of it. We are always together, except at work because no one there knows and I am in his management structure. Byron, his job is in no jeopardy whether he is with me or not. What we do on our own time, is our fun, job is not related. White Chocolate, I do love him and he will learn to live with me once he is comfortable, right now, he is not comfortable because he feels the neighbors will be trying to judge him. Eventually, I will move, but right now, that is a monumental task. Dea, I understand what you are talking about, but my husband was living a double life and that is why his affection with me was gone. That is water under the bridge.
ReplyDeleteTempted and Willing
Then if everything is great together with the 2 of you ask him to marry you!
ReplyDeleteIf this is the relationship you truly want to pursue, give it some time and don't rush the issue. If you are spiritual, take it to your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and seek answers to your heart and connection to this man. Typically, time shows us all we want to see through understanding and wisdom.
ReplyDeleteFirst Lady
Dear Tempted and Willing,
ReplyDeleteI purposely held off from answering this question to see if any further interest would be generated. Unfortunately, it seems many people have steered clear of your plans to move forward and I think it's because of how this relationship started, coupled with your recent divorce. A wise friend once told me, when you get a divorce, you need time to "grieve" your divorce! A person needs time to soak up the lessons learned and focus on the next chapter of their life and not force someone or something else to take the place of the person vacating your life. In time, if the younger guy is for you, fate will show you that. My answer, yes, it's OK for a woman to approach a man for his hand in marriage but in my humble opinion, this is NOT the situation to do that in; At least not right away. Cultivate this relationship. Try to understand the mistakes from the past and then, approach "Each Other" about your findings and where this relationship will go hence forward. I sure hope this helps.
Mr. Anatomy = Hurchel Williams, MBA