Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I have tried on numerous occasions to get my story heard and to grab your opinion but I'm not sure if you still have your advice column active. I will try one final time to seek your help! I have not dated a man in over 2 years. It seems every relationship I've entered, always ended with them cheating, or me finding out they just wasn't who they said they were; so much so, that it became frustrating to me. Well, I'm single, no children and happiness has eluded me. I have a best friend who was going through the exact same thing with men and we have become each other's sounding board and hang-out partners. The other day, we were talking, and out of the blue, she asked me to go to a "Sex Toy" store to help her pick out a new vibrator. Well, long story short, while there, she said, "We are both not having sex, why don't we become each other's man?" Neither of us have EVER done anything like this but since that day, I started thinking, is this something I want to try? We are regular girls with careers, both attractive but for some reason, remain alone. Mr. Anatomy, my question is .....
"How does attraction work with the same sex? I enjoy spending time with her and she is a rock for my life, but do I want to venture down this road? I'm open, but confused!"Dear "Open but Confused," I'm sorry for the delay, but I have taken a break from my advice column to focus on the release of my 2nd book, however, your persistence has grabbed my attention. I will assemble my best bloggers from the past, have them give you advice, then I will close with my opinion. Please stay available for any questions my bloggers may have of you!
Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
www.AnatomyPleasures.com (find Intimate PLEASURE with our Toys)
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Ms. Lady, I have been in simular shoes and started dating a woman who was a really good friend. It started out great but as it progressed, it was no different from dating a man. I will say, love whoever you feel is right, but don't do it because you are mad at a man, or your life is not going in the direction you think it should. I know this sounds like advice from your Grandmomma but, Love will find you, don't seek it.
ReplyDeletePomona, CA
That is truly a personal decision. I am not lesbian but I support gay/lesbian rights. I think that everyone has the right to be loved. If you choose this lifestyle make sure you choose it for the right reasons. Also make sure it is not just because you are curious and frustrated but because that is who you are. Good luck
ReplyDeleteCan't Relate to subject at all? I do like what Anonymous said " it's no difference "? Male or Females do Cheat and can find yourself in a relationship with somebody wher Because, I can't ever Relate to a Point where any Female has ever upset me some much in a Relationship to the Point I said ," I Need to try some Dick next?" So if you are having Bisexual thoughts maybe You are Attracted to Women?
ReplyDeleteI have loved hard and been hurt harder. I have given freely of myself without regret and many times been taken advantage of, but each time I have learned to look within and build on the experience; the lesson. Here's what I have learned when we remove the "stigma", the expectations of what something is "suppose to be" to society or everyone else, take away the name, and just LIVE with people doing what makes us happy we are at peace with ourselves. Our health is better, our life is better, and EVERYDAY is just better.
ReplyDeleteIf I prefer men then so be it. If you prefer women that is your choice. We all choose our companions/partners/friends and how we spend our time filling our needs and building bonds. Society forces us to give it a title. Obviously once marriage occurs that is the natural order of events. It frustrates me how many of us allow outside influence to mess with a beautiful thing when we have it.
The depth and commitment to another person, man or woman, only you can make. Seek inside your heart the answer is there.
OKAY LETS TALK!!!! You have people that are bisexuals by choice and some because of circumstances. You for a fact know if you have a desire for the same sex just as much as you know your attracted to the opposite sex. And being single doesnt determine either. If u can look at a woman and wonder what she taste like and turn ur head and see a man and wanna feel him within you...YOUR BI even if you dont act on either your mind is already doing it.
ReplyDeleteSo with me saying all of that in my last comment....your not Bi if u have to ask. But u can turn Bi by choice. I knew when I was a 3 and 4 yr old lil gorl that women and men turned me on. In porn they both turn me on but im more attracted to men
ReplyDeleteTo me it sounds like your looking to someone else for you to be happy. Happiness comes from within so start with yourself. Make yourself happy and then find someone to enjoy your time with whether that be a man or a woman. I would say dont put limitations on yourself. If your curious about women then see whats up. Make sure if you choose to take it further with your friend you are prepared for the outcome. If it doesnt go as planned, you may lose your friend.
ReplyDeleteMr. Anatomy,
ReplyDeleteUnderstand me when I say, I have NEVER thought about expanding my sexual repertoire in any form. When I was dating, men always told me I was uptight, and I needed to expand and try new things. I'm confused, and there are times when I miss the touch of another and my lady friend and I have been discussing this because we don't want anything to affect the friendship. We have gotten dressed in front of one another, and always been close, but never interacted together, or with a woman before. I guess we are thinking of experimenting, but trying to reach out to like-minded individuals that have maybe made this decision before. I want to THANK EVERYBODY FOR helping me walk through my feelings. Mr. Anatomy, thanks for giving us a chance to use your blog to explore our possible idea. We are both reading and Erika, I love men, but have always appreciated the beauty of men and women. Thanks Janelle, this in NOT just about sex, like you say, just where we chose to spend our time, like you said.
*Open but Confused* in Texas
Well being Bisexual isn't just about sex either because regardless of what sex u choose there is always a chance of a relationship that extended way past sexual desires. But like I said if you start dealing with a female without having a previous desire then ur becoming Bisexual by choice.
ReplyDeleteHmm. I see why you wanted me to see this Hurchel...I am bisexual and I have known this since pre-teen years. I think you may just be curious about it maybe due to something you have heard or seen. You would know for sure if you were bi because you would look at women differently. Meaning you would notice things that you are attracted to that turns you on. I've had friends who were mad at men decide to be with a woman and it not work out. Or friends who engaged in relationships with studs because it was still similar to a man but a woman. You have to understand that if you and your friend decide to explore this with each other that someone may like it and then the other not. It could really mess up your friendship. I'd say have that experience with someone else. Plus you want your first time to be memorable whether you enjoy it or not. I'm always available if you want to talk. I'm currently married and I have made the choice to just deal with my husband only.
ReplyDeleteAs a person how gone though what you are going though let me say this to you, just make that both of you are feeling the same way. Once you cross the sex line with a friend when things will never be the same. Mean if the two of you don't work out there is no more friendship. So you guys have to be very careful and think about what you can lose if this doesn't work. Is your friendship more important? Is that moment of pleasure more important? Getting undressed in front of one another is no big deal. Taking a bath while the other watch is no big deal. But if you guys want to be with one other just understand what you may gain to lose once you out them big girl panties on.
ReplyDeleteTypo: As a person who as gone though.
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