BLOGGER REQUEST - - - BLOGGER QUESTION - - - QUESTION FROM BLOGGER !!!!!
Today's Question was completely written by one of our Bloggers!
Ladies, with the total honesty of your soul, please speak up. Today's Question is ...........
Do you or have you ever sacrificed your own sexual pleasures to spare the feelings of your mate because he can't get you to that orgasmic place? If that answer is yes, do you secretly pleasure yourself? I also need to know, what's the reason you are not being honest with him about "NOT" getting your jollies too?
As a Blog Administrator, I try to always allow the masses to be heard. One of our ladies was passionate about this question and wanted to get the honest opinion of others. With that, Laissez les bons temps rouler! (Let the Good times Roll)
H. Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Speaker,
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.com
http://twitter.com/anatomyofacheat
Anatomy,
ReplyDeleteI had to go first and let you know, this is a topic for the ages! There is probably a lot of ladies who are sitting on there hands but I encourage them to get it off their chest! I have been married for 5 years and my husband has never asked me, "Was it good for you?" He climbs his ass up on me, does his thing, and I guess "thinks" he's done something! I hate to say this, but sometimes, I wish his ass would cheat so some other woman can be as sexually frustrated as I am currently. I have never cheated so YES, I pleasure myself. Sometimes right after he finishes and fall to sleep. One night recently, he caught me and had the nerve to get upset. I was like, "roll your ass over and go to sleep like you always do! (to myself) He said, "baby, if you wanted some more, I would have hooked you up; I almost puked, seriously! I would never crack his huge EGO of what he thinks he does!
Thanks for this topic!
Anonymously Frustrated as Hell !!!
@ Anonymous. Interesting. The main question that I have is, "if your husband did cheat would you be the one to call 'Cheaters' and be on national TV having a fit?" You obviously love you husband, because you are still with him. But you should know that you sexual well being really is important. And in the long run, if your husband doesn't get it figured out you are more than likely going to find a "maintenance man" to handle the duties that for whatever reason he is not taking care of. Also, you should probably be honest with him about your sexual needs. It isn't fair to you to have to be so sexually frustrated with a man laying right next to you every night. And seriously, there are maintenance men out there that are more than willing to service the needs of a married woman, just because that is what they do.
ReplyDeleteThis is an extremely REAL topic. As women, we don’t like sharing too much about what we secretly do behind closed doors. Unlike a man who has no shame to say, “If you don’t get me off, I will just Choke this chicken and make it spit”….. I can’t speak for every women but I can speak from experience. I have totally sacrificed my own pleasures during sex to spare my man’s feelings. I started having sex at the age of 13 years old, (not by choice) but that’s when it started. I just had sex with boys but we really had no idea what we were doing, at least I didn’t. I remember the first organism I had while having intercourse at the age of 16. OMG, that was the best feeling in the world but that was the 1 and ONLY one I got during sex in my young adult life. After that I became out of control and somewhat of a nymphomaniac just fucking because it was like a drug and I needed to keep chasing that first orgasm trying to get another. Unfortunately I went through several men and just realized it wasn’t going to happen unless I did it myself. So, I ask myself now…..Why did I let those men enjoy me and I felt nothing but a somewhat hard dick inside of me? After a while, practice made perfect and it just became a mission to do my thing and do it well. I truly deserved an Oscar for the great roles I played. I moaned and groaned, talked dirty, did whatever was asked of me and the grand finale of “OH YEAH BABY, that’s it… I’m cumming”. I went so far as the tighten my muscles to make it feel like it was pulsating. As an adult, you normally have conversations about sex before it happens and I would often address the fact that I am a clitorious type of person so you have to work with me. Apparently it wasn’t important and I didn’t speak up. So secretly I would have to go behind closed doors and pleasure myself like an embarrassing act that I should be punished for. However, there was always a sense of loneliness and cheapness behind it all but a greater feel of disgust for that man who to me wasn’t being a man and I was too embarrassed or shamed to tell him. That also goes for a long term boyfriend but I love so hard it didn’t matter. So, I’m that woman who made that man beat on his monkey chest thinking he is King Kong in bed. (NOT)
ReplyDeleteIt wasn’t until I got married that my husband was patient enough to take time and work his magic. I don’t have to fake it because he knows exactly what my ending positions need to be!!
I said all of this to say, Ladies…..we need to educate our daughters, our sisters and girlfriends to speak up and not let someone use our bodies for someone else’s disposal. I can just kick myself now for everything I put myself through lying there for some non caring man to get his “jollies” off and I felt no satisfaction to spare his damn feelings. The woman my husband has turned me into will now say, “baby, this is not working, let me put my hand down there and touch it myself”, and he would be so open to that. Fortunately, I can count the number of times that has happened.
To Anonymously Frustrated,
ReplyDeleteIt seems Ruckus has an idea for you!(lol) While I don't condone cheating, I do acknowledge it happens for many reasons, and some similar to your situation. This life is finicky then you die. Like Dr. "Raw" Ruckus said, you have to communicate your feelings to your husband and let him know how you are feeling. Communication unlocks doors and opens the mind to free feeling. If he ever found out you were cheating,(if you decided to) he would probably say, "Why didn't you say something?" Men assume that if you are NOT complaining, you are happy with the current situation. Let him hear you and find a way to bridge your sexual divide before it's too late!
Thanks for Stopping by to express your feelings,
H. Williams, MBA
Very open and honest dialogs to digest and learn. Thanks
ReplyDeletevery good topic. I agree with anonymous, I have been married for a very long time 20+ years and I too are a victim of not getting what I need in bed. I too started having sex at a very young age (also not by choice). I just lay there and let him think that he is really doing something that he really isn't, I should get a award for my performance in bed because I really know how to act. In defense of my husband I feel if I would just tell him what I want he would change anything to have me satisfies but most of the time, I'm just too tired to do anything once my day job is done and then go home and start my evening job at home, so I'm saying to myself okay whatever just do what you have to and get it over with so I can go to sleep. I'm a woman that doesn't really reach a organism during intercourse, and have to touch myself to get pleasure, most people look upon this as a BAD but to me it is part of life.
ReplyDeleteSecond Anonymous....(9:29 am)
ReplyDeleteIt seems like you had to grow up right before your own eyes. This topic is one that I have been answering questions on for quite some time. Men, in the course of a day, have so much going on that sex becomes our late night release of our pin up desires. We think of sex every minute or so; especially when we see some fine woman cross our path. When we are with you, our minds travels from one scene to the next of fine women from our past, women we desire at work, and even the passion we have for the one we're with. Well, I have done sex seminars and during those seminars, I tell men don't try to hold yourself back, rather, let it go but do it in small squirts instead of huge rushes of passion. (see Trantra Sex) Find a way to pace yourself to really be in-tune with the needs of your mate. With this lady, she was going through men seeking the feeling she had gotten so many years prior. It was like the coyote chasing the roadrunner. If you ever catch it (or him) you don't know what you would do! Women tell me all the time, they have to find a higher state of mind to get their orgasm in a real-time way. This is the point where you NEED to open dialog with your mate and TELL him, this AIN"T working. Do what I like, because frustration is detrimental to the overall survival of a relationship. If you are sexually frustrated, it shows up in many other aspects of your life. Which means the quality of life is tilted in a negative way. People, talk, communicate, and share ideas about what's wrong in your bedroom. If all else fails, attend one of my seminars where we touch on real issues in an open ADULT forum to meet the challenges of today's sexual demands!
Thanks for Sharing with this REAL topic of Love!
H. Williams, MBA
There are a lot of men in this crazy world that live their sexual lives under the misconception of "Cum when I cum, or cum when I come back!" I have never understood it. But I have often been in the "maintenance man" position. I have ALL TOO OFTEN been the one that a woman that is not satisfied with the relationship that she has at home, come to talk to and get advice from. And just because I am good at the "game" of it all. I had the occasion to take advantage of her at a very vulnerable moment in their lives. And because I am good at the act of creating "O" experiences they always tend to come back for more. Men that are selfish with their lovemaking have to know that there are men out here that just waiting for the fine ass homegirls to be having problems at home and net be satisfied at home. These are prime targets for great "unconnected" sexual episodes. And again, these episodes do not mean that she is looking for a relationship outside of the one that she is in. It does not mean that she does not love her significant other. It just means that she is trying to get that "nut" and since she can't get it at home, she knows exactly where she can come and get it from. Men think that because their women put on these great acts of orgasm in bed that think that they are laying it down. And then they get complacent, and stop concerning themselves with making their woman cum before they do. So to the women. Just know, if all else fails there are some of us maintenance men out here that are just willing to fulfill all of your fantisies and needs. You will be able to keep your relationship in tact and your pussies happy! No strings attached. Just good lovin'!
ReplyDeleteRuckus, from my own personal experiences…. Yes, we can go out and find that “maintenance man” but women are not typically that simple. You know we are emotional creatures and it’s just not always that easy. To keep my sanity, I would have to keep my “behind closed door secret” to avoid another problem. I admire a women who can go out and fuck with no strings and no emotion but damn, I could not handle the juggling of two men.
ReplyDeleteRuckus,
ReplyDeleteWe appreciate your expertise and how you look at life from a completely different angle. You know for a woman to really consider cheating, she has to be frustrated beyond proportion and have to think, NO, she has to KNOW that she won't get caught. Women are so much better at "doing their business that we are!" We are seriously Wam bam Thank you Ma'am types with little preparation, whereas a lady will prepare her escapades long before it happens and have a dry run, drive by, and send damn smoke signals across the highway to make sure all is cool. She waits until we are watching the Superbowl and then she runs out for more beer and stays gone until halftime. That's the time she needs to be completely satisfied. My point to all that is, YES, you may give them the "maintenance Man" reference, but you know they won't do anything without serious consideration of the consequences.
H. Williams, MBA