A Not so "Merry" Christmas for me... .Our Question of the Day....

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Mr. Anatomy,
Will you PLEASE post this question for me. I have a huge dilemma and have no clear answer in sight. I am a 27 year old man, and before I go into graphic detail, I know your followers are going to judge me as if this has never happened to anyone else. I have a girlfriend who I have lived with for over 3 years and we share a son together. Well, I have been cheating with a married woman who I met on my seasonal job at UPS. She called me last night and told me she has an STD and blamed her husband once she found out what it was. She said she took a chance that he was cheating, not really knowing what he would say but he apologized and they have both been treated. Now, I have to be treated to clear my drain pipe too. My question is ..........

"How the hell do I tell my "unsuspecting" Girlfriend/baby Momma that I may be carrying a STD without confessing I am cheating?" What my other lady did with her husband won't work on my lady cause I know she is faithful!! 

Oh what a web we weave.........! I definitely have a solution to your problem in more ways than one, but first, I will allow my dedicated bloggers to have a crack at solving your problem. From this point forward, we will address you as "Mr. Insensitive." Please remain available for any questions my bloggers may have of you! 


Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 
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Why Is Love So Hard ....... Our Question of the Day.....?

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Mr. Anatomy,
I recently got a divorce from my husband after an up and down relationship of 10 years. I loved that man with all I had. I loved him through poverty, I loved him through infidelity, and most of all, I loved him through the loss of his parents which ultimately changed his life for the better. At the end of this relationship, I got all big and bad and demanded a divorce and he reluctantly granted me my wishes. Now, it's been a year and although I have started dating again, and have a full time man, I can't get my ex-husband out of my head. When he comes over to get the kids to take them back to his house with his new lady, I completely breakdown inside. When I make love to my boyfriend, I can't help but see my ex and that helps me complete the task at hand. (LMAO) My Question is.......

"How do I move forward and put my life back together when I can't stop thinking about my past. I was a fool for moving forward, but what's done is done, right? I miss that man sooooo much!" 

Ma'am, there is a song that describes your dilemma, "When you Tryin to Love Two"  and that is how I will explain your issue but, I have some more words for you. I have to let my bloggers have you first and I will come back with my advice. Please stay available for any question my bloggers may have. By the way, you are now Ms. "2Love" and we will address you as such! 

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 
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IS it LOVE at First Sight.......? Our Question of the Day!

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Dear Mr. Anatomy, 
I met a man at church last Sunday. He is new in town and recently divorced. We stood outside of the church for an hour or so talking and getting acquainted before deciding to make a date for the movies later in the day. Mr. Anatomy, we have truly hit it off and although I have never believed in Love at First Sight, I am starting to make a believer out of myself. I am a woman of Christian virtue but I am not perfect. He seems genuine and just as much into me as I am into him. I guess my question is .........

"Is it possible to meet a man and know instantly this is the person I would like to spend the rest of my life with? Will you ask your bloggers to share any similar experiences with me? 

Thanx for bringing your question to our forum. I have a little experience in meeting, greeting, and dating early and I will share my thoughts with you just as soon as my bloggers have had their time with you. I will address you as Ms. "LoveStruck" from hence forward and please remain available for any questions my bloggers may have of you. 

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 
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Men do it, why Can't Women?...... Our Question of the Day!

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I am a successful author of several books and I travel the country speaking to people about investing and growing their wealth for the future. I have been single since I was 28 after a rough divorce from my husband. Now I am 39. Currently, I'm not dating because dating ends friendships. Recently I was in Milwaukee, WI. and I caught the last of a radio interview you did on the Michael Dresser show. In that interview, you said you were a reformed serial cheater and you can help men be the same. Well, what about the woman who don't trust men at all? Can you help us too? All I do is travel, meet business associates and call my "Guy of the moment" for that city to keep me tuned up. Yes, it's a lonely life, but I don't allow myself to get caught up where feelings are involved! With this approach, my voice mail is always filled with, "Why did you leave without waking me up?" My Question is........

"Am I wrong for loving men and then leaving them until I need them again? Some of the men say my approach is confusing. I say, it's sex, hugging, and catching a plane!"

Ma'am, while the franchise of Anatomy of a Cheater never judges, I do have a bit  insight as to why you are leaving these encounters the way you do. From this point forward, I will address you as Ms. "Financial" and allow my bloggers to speak first before I chime in. Please remain available for any questions my bloggers may have. 

Hurchel Williams, MBA 

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 
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**How does a woman Break the Hold that "LIFE" has over You......!**

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Dear Mr. Anatomy, 

I have read so many stories like mine on your blog. Stories of unhappiness and disappointment from decisions I've made to stay in a relationship that is going no-where. As I send this email with tears in my eyes, I need your valued bloggers to walk me through the pain. I have been with my husband for over 12 years and we initially got married because I got pregnant and my family insisted I do the right thing and marry the father of my child. Now, a total of 3 children later, I feel like I am locked in a glass cage with no way out of my life. I am educated, attractive, and successful in my own career, I just like to LOVE my husband, but I can honestly say I am not in love with him. He is a great guy, great provider, but there is absolutely no passion that makes my eyes roll back in my head. For me, foreplay means nothing even as he tries to perform it. My Question is......

"Is this all life has to offer by way of love and relationships? I am spiritual and I've been to counseling where I've tried to find reasons to make this work, but what happens when it just doesn't work. Will God forgive me for giving up?"

Ironically, this is a scenario described to me all too often. The story of the young lady who marries early, has the family but seeks more by way of understanding in her own life. I do have a plan for women like you, but as always, my bloggers will speak first and I will follow with my assessment. From hence forward, you will be addressed as "Ms. Emotion" as we look for a solution to your issue. Please remain available for any questions my bloggers may have for the next 3 days.

Hurchel Williams, MBA 

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 
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On the Down Low..but Somebody Has to Know! Our Question of the Day.

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,

I have done something that is strangely out of character for a man of my statue but I truly don't know how to stop this awful behavior. I would like to be life coached and now that you have my email address, I was hoping my first stop would be your blog to see if anyone else have gone through what I am. I am a man who have achieved a lot of success on many levels and women have never been a problem for me. I have been faithful in my 7 year marriage and I am certain she has too. My problem is I have been seeing another man for about 3 months. What started as some dumb type of fun, has become something I look forward to once or twice a week. I know a lot will be said and I was directed to your site by a really good friend of mine here on the west coast who you know well! Although I am being safe in my other activity, I am still having "relations" with my wife as well. My Question is ......

"Is there a psychological term for what I am going through? I am in my mid 40's, healthy and vibrant, but I can't understand how this has entered my life! Does this mean I am homosexual?" 

Sir, from hence forward, I will address you as Mr. Inappropriate to outline the fact that you are dealing with two people of the opposite sex, with one being your legal wife. I have a mouthful to say, but I will allow my bloggers to have first "voice" and I will chime in later. Please remain available for any questions that may be asked of you. 

Hurchel Williams, MBA 

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 
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How STUPID can we be......! Our Question of the Day.

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Mr. Anatomy,
I am probably one of the few men that have read your book and agree with the hunger of men and their obsession to cheat. Why is it we have to have things that are totally off limits to us? You said it best when you said a man knows exactly what we want from a woman when we meet them for the first time. I am married, and have been for 17 years. My wife and I have had our ups and downs but through it all, we have continued to make it and forge ahead. About 4 months ago, my wife's best friend moved in with us after leaving her husband in California. She came back down south to get back on her feet. She and my wife were childhood friends but her friend wears it a lot better than my wife does. Looking at her, I see what my wife use to look like 10 years ago and 50 lbs lighter. The best friend and I have been sleeping with each other for 2 months non stop and I feel this is getting out of control. The problem is, my wife's friend says if I stop sleeping with her, she is going to tell my wife about everything and then will come on to her too. She says my wife was a freak back in college and they shared very intimate moments back then and she thinks she can stir those feelings back up with my wife if I stop sleeping with her! My Question is ..........

"What the hell have I gotten myself into. Like you asked of "Diamond" in your book, is this lady the devil? It seems I can't stop this even if I wanted to."

Sir, you have definitely gotten yourself in some deep quicksand and the more you wiggle, the more you sink. However, you've come to the right place. My bloggers and I will help you steer clear of this mess. From hence forward, your blogger name is Mr. Scared because she definitely has you on the run. Please stay available to answer any questions my bloggers may have. 

Hurchel Williams, MBA 

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 
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Don't Ask......I won't Tell ! Our Question of the Day ..

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
The other day, I got a text from a lady who wanted to know why my number was in her boyfriend's phone over and over again for a period of 2 weeks. After figuring out what guy she was referring to, I asked her to call me and I filled her in on exactly why her boyfriend was reaching out to me. I told her I met her boyfriend on a dating website and after going out on a couple of dates, we had sex; after which we text'd a few times and then the relationship faded. Of course, he never told me he was seeing anyone. My question is simple......

"When women find it in themselves to reach out to a woman through their man's phone, don't we as women have a civic duty to be honest?" 

Ma'am.... everyone sees exposing their intimate antics differently. While I have a full opinion, I reserve the right to answer your question after my bloggers have had a chance to address your concern. From hence forward, your blog title is Ms. "Imma Tell it" and please stay close to our blog for the next 3 days in case our bloggers have questions.

Hurchel Williams, MBA 

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 
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I am LYING to the Man I LOVE......! Our Question of the Day

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Dear Mr. Anatomy, 
I am living a lie and I really don't know how to get myself back to respectability. I have been living a life of celibacy and telling the guy that I've been dating that the reason we are not having sex is I am cleansing my life and walking with GOD! However, I am lying and I have been secretly seeing my ex boyfriend who lives down the street a few miles. My boyfriend visits and shortly after he leaves, my ex boyfriend stops by to "take care" of my needs. The other night, my boyfriend came back to give me money for lunch and he didn't call. My ex boyfriend ran toin my daughters room, and had to hide for over 2 hours until my boyfriend left. I feel so bad, but I am addicted to my ex but he has a woman and child. My question is......

"How do I handle this volatile situation before it boils over? My boyfriend is a great guy, but Mr. Anatomy, I have lost myself in physical sex and love!"

Ma'am, Mr. Anatomy never judges, just answers the questions that are before me. Volatile is definitely the correct word to use. From hence forward, your blog name is Ms. "No-Sex" and after my bloggers give you their opinion I will follow with my response. Please remain available for any questions my followers may have. 

Hurchel Williams, MBA 

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 
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He's Moving Too Slow....Damn !! Our Question of the Day

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I know this is the blog that will get me some results, and right now, results is exactly what's needed. I am a Pediatrician in the Greater D.C. area. I have been practicing here since I got out of school and joined a group. Well, when I was going through school and my residency, there was really not a lot of time for dating. However, now that I am working, doing my thing and "SINGLE" I am ready to mingle and get it on, so to say. Well, my problem is, I am dating this guy I met in church. We have a lot of  the same values, similar occupations, and comfort level. The problem is, it's been 3 months and "tha brother" can't take a hint. I am trying desperately to seduce him but he is taking  this gentleman thing just a little too far. Mr. Anatomy, I have read your book based on a co-worker's recommendation, and let me tell you, the naughtiness in THAT book has me hotter than ever! Mr. Question is......

"What do I do to speed up the process and get this guy to see my body they way I see his. I want some of the chocolate drop bad, but he seems to not see me in a sexual light!" You think he may be gay?

Ma'am, thank you for bringing your question to our forum. I will definitely give you my assessment  but not before our bloggers have had their chance. I will address you as Dr. Hot-Pants from hence forward! Please stay close to the blog the next 3 days to answer any questions my bloggers may have of you! 

Hurchel Williams, MBA 

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 
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Only when "I" Want to. "3 minus 2 = ME." Our Question of the Day!

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I am a Married and a very BISEXUAL FEMME woman. I am into the ladies but only with my husband, I do not have any attraction to another man at all outside of my husband. We do have 3 somes together but he feels that it is okay to go outside the marriage and deal with women on his own without me. He knew I was bisexual when we met and he has never had a problem with it. I know they say this life is every man's fantasy but is it being a hypocrite that I get what I want out of the situation being with him and a female and not allowing him to do what he wants also? My Question is .....

"Is it wrong of me to not want my husband to play outside of what we do together?"

Mrs. Femme, thank you for bringing your question to our forum. Before I chime in on your topic, I will allow my bloggers to have a crack at it. We have answered a question like this in the past, and I will try to find that reference to the past and post it for your review. Please remain visible and readily available to answer any questions my bloggers may have for you.

Hurchel Williams, MBA 

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 
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**I'm Not sure What's Real, What's Reality....but I want Out! **

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Mr. Anatomy,
I come to you in a fractured state of myself and my confidence has been shaken. I've been seeing this young lady, for quite sometime and while I thought the relationship was going in the right direction, apparently, she found the need to write me a derogatory letter about our state of affairs. Like you, she is a blogger, (www.ebonyheights.org) and I have been going along with what she writes about our relationship because it was all in fun, and it gave me an alter ego of a successful, powerful man, with nothing to prove. However, in her last post about our relationship and affairs while I was traveling, something went wrong and she turned me into a spectacle and since my friends follow her blog, I have become the laughing stock of my office. When I agreed to be a part of this and share our experiences with everyone else, we had a few basic rules; To keep it clean, to make sure everyone else respected me in a positive way, and she would NEVER expose who I really am. Well, like she said in her blog, she did come on the road to visit me, but she left out one important detail that I just found out myself when I got this letter, and called her to confront her about her untimely departure! It seems, she met one of my ex girlfriends and she is under the impression I have been playing games with her so now she is trying to ruin my "real reputation" with this blogging thing. My Question is .......

"How do I stop the blogging creativity of my female counterpart and get things back to normal. She has seriously taken what we do intimately to another level and won't stop sharing our exploits with everyone else!"

Mr. Big, I have a lot to say, and since you reached out to me, I had to do my research and go to her blog to question the validity of what you are saying. To me, it seems you have been caught doing something wrong, and now you are attempting to clean it up. I commented on her blog a few days ago but I had NO idea how seriously real all this has become, but remember, you put yourself out there, so I'll let my bloggers speak, and I will then come back with a few words of my own. I will address you from hence forward as "Running Scared" to separate you from the ego she created. Please remain available for any questions my bloggers may have.

Hurchel Williams, MBA  

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 
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I'm a Bad Christian ~ Help Mr. Anatomy ~ Our Question of the Day!

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
My life is spiraling out of control, and I have little to do to stop it. I have been working as an escort unbeknownst to my mother and father for about 6 months. The other day, the guy who helps me maneuver through the maze of this lifestyle told me I am committed to him for another year based on what he has provided for me. I walked away because I don't like this and it's too much for me. I went to my pastor and reached out for his help. He was so supportive and went to my "sponsor" and asked if he will let me out of  this unwritten, unspoken contract. My supporter didn't want any problems with the church or exposure in my small town so he agreed to release me. However, he called me 2 days ago and offered me one last "hook up" and says it's a major client that is coming to town for a church convention and area revival. To my surprise, the person he is trying to get me to see is a part of the group that is coming to lead the convention for all the churches in the area. Lord, how did I get mixed up in all of this. I'm 23 years old, and was just trying to get money to help me through college. My Question is .......

"What do I do? I know I can't see the "client" that's coming in, but do I tell my Pastor what was supposed to happen with the member of  this "visiting group" that is coming to conduct this revival?"

First and foremost, let's call your "supporter" what he is; a PIMP? Now, with that said, I have too much to say about this topic, but as always, I will let my bloggers chime in first before I render my opinion. I will address you as Young and Confused from this point forward. Please remain available for any question my bloggers may have.

Hurchel Williams, MBA  

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

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I can't Strip forever, Do I Tell Him, or NOT? Our Question of the Day.

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I am in a real quandary about my private life. I am almost done with graduate school and I haven't dated in years. There is this young man that is going to a Seminary here in town and he recently joined our church. He asked me out on a date and believe it or not, I really enjoyed him. Now, we are seeing each other a couple of times a week. Well, my only job is an exotic dancer and I am living pretty good, if I must say. Recently, I invited him into my home, had dinner with him, and extracurricular activities, but after which he found it in him to question my income source. Today he asked me a question about my occupation. This guy is very nice, spiritual, and respectful. My question is ......

I don't like keeping secrets but is it anyone's business but mine how I make my money? It's not a career, but just a means through college!

Ma'am, I seriously thank you for bringing your issue to our forum, while I have my ideas about this topic, as always, I will let my bloggers speak before I render my comment. Please remain available for any questions my bloggers may have for you. 




Hurchel Williams, MBA  

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

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A Cougar is Lurking! Young Men, Beware! Our Question of the Day!

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Mr. Anatomy,
Let me start out by saying I value your opinion, as do so many others and I feel like I am having a crisis and I need intervention by your bloggers. About 5 years ago, my husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer and our lives changed significantly. I have been in prayer at the church and since I don't work anymore, I make sure I am there for my husband in so many ways. My husband is impotent and we have sex through our emotions and touch without any penetration. We live in an exclusive high-rise community here in (Not Gonna Say it) and our lives have been good. My problem is, a young bachelor moved in across the hall and I was very helpful with his moving. I stayed at his house waiting for the cable man, At&t people, etc. My husband has been very supportive and wanted me to help out our new neighbor, because, as he put it, "it's being Neighborly." However, last week, when I was over helping him interview housekeepers, we ended up in his bedroom and Lord, I don't know what came over me. He lifted my skirt and that young man took an older woman around all the bases! I am 49 years old, and that young thing is 28. I should know better because he is my son's age. But, I snuck out of the house Saturday, knocked on his door and when he answered, he said, "I knew you wanted me again!" My Question is ........

"How on earth do I stop what is happening and is this something I need to report back to my husband?" I feel like a teenager sneaking out of the window at night! 

Oh what a web we weave........! (LoL) Oh Ma'am, I have a lot to say about these actions, and actually, I had another episode similar to yours a few months back. I encourage you to read that Monday, 1/30/12 - Temptation is Testing me (http://theanatomyofacheater.blogspot.com/2012/01/mr.html) I will chime in after my bloggers have had an opportunity to address your situation. From this point forward, we will address you as Ms. Cougar. Please remain available for any questions my bloggers will ask in reference to your situation. 

Hurchel Williams, MBA  

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 
Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.com (send US your Questions anonymously) 
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"Is it CHEATING WHEN" you started this....? Our Question of the Day!

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Mr. Anatomy,
I have a question and for once in my life, I don't feel like other women will judge me. I mean, we all make mistakes, and after reading some of the questions you have had in the past, I feel right at home. 6 months ago, my husband asked me to be a part of a 3-Some with someone from his past that has reappeared in our city after a long absence in the military. It was a lady, and although I was against it initially, I must say, my husband did it the right way. He let us meet, greet, and get to know one another without him and she and I built a friendship before anything ever happened. Then during the Memorial Day weekend, we went off to Key West, FL and sparks started to fly with the 3 of us. However, since we've gotten back to (Not Gonna Say It) she and I have been a lot closer without my husband. We both agreed, he slows us down and tries to dictate the passion. The 2 of us have more involvement and stimulating conversations without him. My question is.....

"Is it cheating when your husband starts the whole 3-some ordeal and put you in a lifestyle like this?"

Ma'am, what has happened to you is the underside of a 3 some request biting back! I have quite a bit to say but I will allow my bloggers to speak first and I will chime in a bit later. From this point forward, I will refer to you as Ms. Secret-Love. Please stay close to the blog just in case my bloggers have questions for you.

Hurchel Williams, MBA  

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 
Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.com (send US your Questions anonymously) 
www.anatomypleasures.com (merchandise for Pleasure)
www.anatomyofacheater.com (visit OUR website) 
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Why Can't I Trust? What's Wrong with Me, What have I Become?

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Mr. Anatomy,
I just finished reading your book, and I must say, I thought your book would be about glorifying cheating, but I have to report, it was more of a "Self-Help" for me. You gave me secrets to unlocking my own insecurities. I am a hard working woman. I have a career, and I try my best to do what's right. My problem, I am VERY insecure in my relationship and I worry when I clearly don't have to. My boyfriend doesn't know it, but I follow him when I think he is lying and I drive past his job just to make sure his car is there.  I have made a key to his house and go by there periodically to see if there is anything incriminating laying around. What have I become, I am acting like a stalker! My Question is ...... 

"When you are sneaking around through your boyfriend's things and you find something questionable, what do you do? Can you question him about it?"

Ma'am, I truly thank you for your understanding of the true reason Anatomy of a Cheater was written but you have quite the issue with your insecurities. Before I chime in, I would like to give the bloggers the opportunity to do so. From this point forward, I will address you as Ms. Jealousy. Please remain available to answer any questions my bloggers may have. 


Hurchel Williams, MBA 

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 
Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.com (send US your Questions anonymously) 
www.anatomypleasures.com (merchandise for Pleasure)
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"Does what's Done in the Dark, HAVE to come to the Light???"

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
After carefully reading some of your earlier post and the dilemmas of others, I'm gonna take my friend's advice, and reach out for some understanding from your bloggers. I am being "blackmailed" by my boss's wife. I did a terrible thing a few months ago and it is coming back to haunt me. While on a company retreat, with all the partners from my firm, liquor got the best of me and I had sex with my boss's wife. Well, I'm happily married, and they are in the process of a nasty divorce. She has been down on her luck because of the stress from her divorce so we've started to talk after work over coffee and sometimes a few cocktails, but I have stood firm on not going anywhere near her bed! Saturday, she said, "If you don't have sex with me, I will tell my husband what happened in the Caymans." She always tries to kiss me and re-light that fire from the trip, but I told her I was vulnerable and that can't happen again! She smacked me in her drunken state and said I have until Saturday to "make love" to her, or everyone will "feel" her loneliness. My Question is......

"What on earth do I do. My wife and I have been together for 17 years and this would devastate her, not to mention, my boss is NOT the nicest guy at the firm!" Mr.Anatomy...Help!!

Sir, I have to say, you are in a very unique situation and while I have my opinion, I will let my experienced bloggers tackle this first before I chime in. From hence forward, I will address you as Mr. Dark-side and please remain available for any questions my bloggers may have. 




Hurchel Williams, MBA 

Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 
Williamshjr@anatomyofacheater.com (send US your Questions anonymously) 
www.cafepress.com/anatomyofacheater (purchase OUR merchandise)
www.anatomyofacheater.com (visit OUR website) 
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Send Your Friend Request to: "Author Hurchel Williams (MrAnatomy)on Facebook.