I am Bored .............. But I don't Want to Lose HIM ............ Our Question of the Day

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Dr. Anatomy .... I have a problem and I am so glad you are allowing me to be your first issue to announce your return to blogging. I have been with the same man since we started dating in college. I am 27 years of age and he is 31. We have a great life together and share twins, 1 boy 1 girl who are 4. The problem, without going into too much detail is this: I have been totally bored during this Covid - 19 Pandemic and have been going to dating websites that accept that you are married but will let you fool around a bit if the opportunity presents itself. I listened to your Podcast with my 3 girlfriends and my husband when you brought the lady on from California and I felt what the 2 of you talked about is what I feel I need. But ...... how do I tell my husband I want more out of a physical relationship than what we are doing now? He listened to the show too, but did not have anything POSITIVE to say that would make me think he is open to the idea of doing "other" stuff in the bedroom. He has always been so traditional. Wam, Bam ... it's OVER. I am bored and I find myself taking fieldtrips to the grocery store just to get attention from men. I know I am wrong, but damn, "Do I want to be right?" Please help!

Signed,

I need some "NEW ATTENTION"

Dr. Hurchel Williams

Life Coach, Relationship Counselor, Tantra Adviser

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater

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I Don't Wanna Be your Friend ....... I wanna Be your Man! Our Question of the Day

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,  www.theanatomyofacheater.blogspot.com 
I have a Co-Worker who showed me your blog and says she has read everything you post. So, Today, I find myself in need of a little help. Since she read this so much, maybe she will read my question and know I am trying to give her a hint.  I am a single man who works really hard to maintain myself and take care of my children (2) from a previous marriage. I have been divorced for 5 years now and have found myself getting lonely as of late. I am a traveling executive for (Not Gonna Say IT) where I spend weeks away with other co-workers training contractors for the government. I live in (Not Gonna Say IT) Florida, but find myself in every major city in the south based on the need of our company. Here is my situation: One of my best friends and colleagues has my attention. I think I really want to take our relationship to the next level but the problem is, she spends so much time telling me about other guys, she honestly doesn't notice the chemistry she and I have together. Numerous breakfasts, lunches, and even late dinners have us in each other's lives daily, but all she finds time to do is talk about guys she meet, greets, and eventually sleeps with where the interactions goes NO WHERE! Inside I'm screaming, pick me, pick me, pick me, and have even given her hints from time to time. She gives me that "You are so genuine" but you don't want to date me, I'm a hott mess, speech!" The closest I've gotten to being with her is about 6 months ago, we were in (Not Gonna Say IT) and we drank ourselves to sleep in my hotel room. She fell asleep on my lap while I was massaging her shoulders. We came face to face but when the time came to kiss her, I talked myself out of it. When I woke up she was gone! Mr Anatomy, My Question is .............

"How do I turn a great friendship into a romance with the woman of my dreams?" 

Sir, I sincerely thank you for bringing your question to our forum. While I don't blog as much as I once did, every now and again, I find a question I feel may help others and make time to reach the masses. First and foremost, you gave me too much information so I took the liberty of blocking out some personal information not needed to further our discussion. From hence forward, I will address you as "Mr. Friend Zone" and allow my bloggers/posters to give you their take on your situation before I render my opinion. Please stay close to the computer because I will give you my advice in 3 days, but everyone else will speak to you directly and may have questions as they proceed. Good Luck!!! 

Hurchel Williams, MBA, PHR
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 

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LORD .... I've done Everything you Asked ....Where is MY HUSBAND? Question of the Day

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Dear Mr. Anatomy, (www.theanatomyofacheater.blogspot.com) 
I know you don't do your blog anymore but I have a question that has been burning inside my heart that truly could use an answer. I have been faithful, God-fearing and have always tried my best to be a good person. I pray and pray for a man, but the men I attract are either married, or just looking for a good time. Most of my friends are finding happiness, relationships, and eventual marriage. Not to be a "hater" but some of them are borderline loosey-goosey with their "Coochie" and I refuse to lower my standards to pursue the wrong type of "pleasure - happiness!" So, I guess my question is .....
"Why has Thou Forsaken ME?" I have tried my best to live right and follow the word of the LORD, why am I still alone?" 

Dear Forsaken-ed,
I haven't retired, but I have been very busy with "LIFE" and haven't blogged since Oct of 2014. For those who follow me faithfully, I am truly sorry. However, your question has been asked many many times by women so I felt it moving to assemble the right individuals to try to give you a true perspective on what you have asked. After my truest bloggers answer you to the best of their ability, I will come back and close it out with my take on your question. Please remain available for any questions they may have of you.

Hurchel Williams, MBA, PHR
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 

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How do I leave a Cheater without breaking down?...Question of the Day

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I have a problem. Without making this story long and drawn out, I know my man is cheating on me. We live together and have an adorable child together. This weekend was my man's birthday and our goal was to spend it together. Friday night, he disappeared to get a haircut, not unusual, but he didn't return until Saturday morning. Saturday, he worked until 1:00 PM and got home around 6. We had a few words because I was resting after being out with the baby at a fall festival. Sunday we were supposed to go to church as a family, but plans changed and he went to an NFL game. Well, since Sunday was his birthday, I understood he wanted to hang out with his friends, so I didn't get bent out of shape however, I didn't hear from him again until I was headed to work on Monday morning. So Monday (yesterday) I got all dolled up to take him to dinner, and got the baby dressed, but he didn't come home until 8:00 PM and the baby goes to bed at 7:30. I was over it, so I went to bed around 9. He came to bed at 5:30 A.M. this morning. While getting the baby dressed for daycare ...... "yes, I did it," I went through his phone that was hidden under the covers and my worst fears were realized; His entire weekend in "text! It told a graphic story of not just me, but 2 other women, and he has an ex-girlfriend pregnant. Mr. Anatomy, I'm done but my question is .......................

"How do I handle what I've seen? How do I walk away without completely falling apart. He has NO idea that I've been in his phone, I just left home headed to work, but inside I'm a mess!" 

Dear 'Secret Agent' ...... let me first tell you how sorry I am that you have gone through such a tumultuous weekend. That is enough to drive anyone insane. Today, I do you a favor, I will turn you over to my Strong Women, my bloggers and they will tell you how to handle your next few steps. Personally, I am glad you didn't go off the deep end without a plan. Stay tuned for their responses! 



Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater 

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"How Do you Know You're Bi-Sexual" - Question of the Day

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I have tried on numerous occasions to get my story heard and to grab your opinion but I'm not sure if you still have your advice column active. I will try one final time to seek your help! I have not dated a man in over 2 years. It seems every relationship I've entered, always ended with them cheating, or me finding out they just wasn't who they said they were; so much so, that it became frustrating to me. Well, I'm single, no children and happiness has eluded me. I have a best friend who was going through the exact same thing with men and we have become each other's sounding board and hang-out partners. The other day, we were talking, and out of the blue, she asked me to go to a "Sex Toy" store to help her pick out a new vibrator. Well, long story short, while there, she said, "We are both not having sex, why don't we become each other's man?" Neither of us have EVER done anything like this but since that day, I started thinking, is this something I want to try? We are regular girls with careers, both attractive but for some reason, remain alone. Mr. Anatomy, my question is .....
"How does attraction work with the same sex? I enjoy spending time with her and she is a rock for my life, but do I want to venture down this road? I'm open, but confused!"

Dear "Open but Confused," I'm sorry for the delay, but I have taken a break from my advice column to focus on the release of my 2nd book, however, your persistence has grabbed my attention. I will assemble my best bloggers from the past, have them give you advice, then I will close with my opinion. Please stay available for any questions my bloggers may have of you!


Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater

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What are My Options ............... Our Question of the Day ??

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
My life has to change. I met a guy 7 years ago at work and everything I thought about him turned out to be a lie. When we met, we were both married but separated from our significant others and moving towards being with one another. We now have a 2 year old son who is the center of my world, but that is the only thing that has gone right! My man never stays the night, or can be reached after 11:00 PM. When I call him on the weekends, he says we can't talk because his head is always hurting. He has never taken our son on his own longer than 3 hours. When I question anything that is out of the norm, I become a whore, bitch, etc and he scares me and my other (2) children. I want to leave this relationship but he threatens to take my son away and that is my joy. He recently put me in the hospital with physical abuse. Mr. Anatomy ........

"I don't know how I got in this deep, but my question is how do I get out of this relationship without being harmed in some way?

Thank you for bringing your issue to our forum. From hence forward, I will address you as "Troubling Situation" and allow my bloggers to interact with you directly before giving you my opinion on your matter. Please stay available for the next few days to answer any questions my bloggers may have of you.


Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater

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"Will I Ever Find Happiness .......Question of the Day ??"

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I am a man that can't find the right woman to save his LIFE! I mean, I have a great job, I am educated, consider myself attractive, and have many options for women, but when I start dating them, I find something about them that doesn't allow me to move forward. Like anyone else, I love a beautiful, smart, independent woman, but after about 8 months of dating, it gets boring, and I am looking for the next point of excitement. Am I different from most, or am I just in the rat race of dating? In the past, I have always dated multiple women to get my "fix" but I am truly ready to find someone to make me happy and fulfilled. I was married too early and from that, I have a beautiful family of children that are the center of my world. I just want the next chapter to begin. My question is .....
"Where is true happiness, and how on earth do you pick the right woman to be a solemate?"

First and foremost, thank you for allowing my bloggers and I the opportunity to tackle your question. From hence forward, I will address you as "Unhappiness" as we try to help you decipher your feelings. Please remain available and ready to answer any questions my bloggers may have for you.

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater

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What's Wrong with My Marriage ..... Question of the DAY .....

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I have followed you for years and now it seems I am the one needing some guidance. My husband and I have been together for 20 years, and married for 13. Needless to say, we are empty nesters now, as all the kids are off to college and pursuing their own lives. My problem, I have done EVERYTHING I know how to do to keep my relationship interesting, but my husband has a tendency to stay out all night, when he feels like it. I call, no answer, I text, no answer, and he strolls in the next day at daybreak! Sure, I get the excuses; "fell asleep drunk at a friend's house, blah blah blah," but I told him if he does it again, I am out of here. Well, the other night, he did it again! My question is ............
"How do I get my husband's attention and let him know, his antics are breaking me down internally and truly hurting our relationship!"


Ma'am, thank you for allowing my panel of experts and I to tackle your question. From hence forward, I will address you as "Sleepless Nights" and get the opinions of my bloggers before I weigh in and give my advice. Please remember to stay available to answer any questions my bloggers may have for you.








Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater

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My Life, Marriage, and Our Struggle! ~ Comments of the week!

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*Since we are always answering questions for the betterment of others, I decided to this time, shed some light on how "ALLOWING 3-SOMES" can go wrong in a relationship. I am going to allow one of "Our Own," attempt to share her story. Often she gives advice about the casualties of what can go wrong when you open the doors of your relationship to others, in this topic, this week, she has agreed to tell her story, and speak of it openly in our forum. A little background; before she was happily married to a man, she was involved for years exclusively with another woman. After getting married, she and her husband had an agreement that they would together, still see women in their life. This is her story ........! She will be the 1st Post. I will address her as "Mrs. Struggle!"
Please take a moment to read and understand this lady's story. This could easily be You or someone you Know.
-Mr. Anatomy-

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater

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What's Wrong With Me ????? Our Question of the Day

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I am a regular, everyday guy, who has been married now for 3 years. This is my second marriage and I give my marriage all it deserves, and sometimes more; but I can't stop cheating! I know everybody and their momma will try to bash me, but I am seriously asking, from one cheater to another, why do we do what we do? I am not trying to open up old wounds with you, but you have publicly acknowledged your indescretions, so I ask you,

"What is your advice for a man who has a wonderful woman, but gets bored at home? Bored enough
to find others to make him feel good?"

Sir, your problem is not new but most people won't tackle it head on and give it the attention it needs. So, you have come to the right place. Without trying to downplay this, or make you feel worse than you probably do (evidence by outing yourself in a public forum) we will explore this with my bloggers and then, I will come back and offer my opinion and solution. You may be shocked at my approach!






Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater

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"Am I a NORMAL Woman?" Our Question of the Day .......

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I have struggled within myself for a few years about something I do in my alone time. I have been happily married for 8 years, and been with my husband for a total of 10. Our life is normal and I think, very rewarding. We have 2 children and are an all American type family, I guess. But, I spend a lot of time pleasuring myself. My husband loves me, and there has never been any infidelity on either side. I just don't get the pleasure I once did from my husband, so I find myself looking for breaks in my schedule to take care of myself. The other day after being with my huband, I rushed to the bathroom to finish and when I opened my eyes, he was standing there. He shook his head, and simply walked away. Damn, I thought he was fast asleep, like always. My question is ..............
"Is wanting to be alone with yourself a common thing? I never deny him, but my enjoyment comes from me, and me only when it comes to sex."

Ma'am, I have chosen your question because this is one I have touched on many times in my seminars but never here in my public forum. I do have an answer for you, but not until after my bloggers have had a chance to weigh in on this discussion. From hence forward, I will refer to you as Ms. "I LOVE ME." Please remain available as instructed in my email to you for any questions my bloggers may have of you.

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater

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"IT Finally Happened to Me"..... Our Question of the Day ...?

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
In 2012, I heard you speak for a group of professors at (Not gonna Say It) at (Not gonna say it) University. You gave a very high percentage of men cheating and at that time I questioned your numbers because I thought "It could NEVER happen to me!" Well, It did!!! My husband and I work out a lot at the gym. We are both pretty athletic, but he started going to the gym more in the afternoons after work, which is not our normal time. I didn't think anything of it, because I trust him deeply. Well, a few days ago, I was contacted by the other woman and she informed me she and my husband have been seeing each other for over 6 months and she has even been in my house. They met at the gym, and she was told that things at my house are not good because he's not happy and was asked to give him time to straighten things out. (As she put it) so they can be together. Well, that is certainly news to me! When I questioned him, he said yes, he knows her and yes they have been together, but the facts are a little more detailed. He said we would talk when he got back in town next Monday, and shut me down because he is away on a major business trip. My question is,

"Can a marriage survive cheating and infidelity? If so, how do we get back on the right track?"

Ma'am, thank you for allowing my bloggers and I to tackle this question for you. Yes, I remember that seminar and I appreciate you coming to me after initially doubting my researched numbers. I will allow my bloggers to address your question prior to giving you my take on it. From hence forward, I will address you as Mrs. "Doubtfire." Please remain available for any questions my bloggers may have for you.

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater

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"Sugar Daddy and his Princess" Our Question of the Day?

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I have quite the dilemma. I am dating a much older man and I truly enjoy being with him, but I am ashamed to take him around my friends. I know that sounds bad, and I must apologize but the fact still remains that my man is 18 years older than me. I'm 27 and he is 45. In the beginning, 6 years ago, he was this mature guy that had it all together; Great sex, great body, and super smart, but as he has crossed into his mid 40's, things are starting to beef up. While sex is still okay, it's routine, less frequent, and he is acting more his age and less like the firecracker I met when I was 21. He's been acting really insecure lately and just showing up at functions and places where I normally go alone.  While I love the security he offers, I never thought the day would come where I am truly ashamed of him. Yesterday, he mentioned marriage and I said to myself, "I have to do something before it goes too far!" My question is .......

"How do you break it off with someone you truly love but KNOW you can't spend the rest of your life with?"

Ma'am, your question is quite unique in nature and I will give you the opinion you seek. However, prior to my answer, I will allow my bloggers to give you their opinion. I will address you as Ms. "Young Thang" from hence forward. Like my email to you stated, please remain available for any questions my bloggers may have of you. :)

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker
Author, Anatomy of a Cheater

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"Is Cheating Ever the Answer," Our Question of the Week

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I am a married mother of two wonderful children. I am in my mid 30's and life seems to have come to a screeching halt. My husband and I are so routine, it's like our life is on a calendar. Don't get me wrong, things are great; nice home, cars, church and all the normal signs of success for an outsider looking in but my life seems boring! I have discussed this fact with my husband regularly, but he tells me to "get over it" I am just having an early mid-life crisis. I am a hotel manager, and my daily duties are just as routine as my home life. There just has to be fun somewhere that makes me feel alive again! My question is for you and your female audience. I have read several of your previous questions and I feel I will get a straight answer here, with No-Fluff. Here it goes .......

"Is an affair ever good to revive a person mentally, physically, or even just to make them feel alive
again?"

 
Ma'am, what you are feeling is natural, but unlike your husband, I won't go so far as to call it a mid-life crisis in your 30's. However, I will give you my spin on it but not before I allow, as you requested, my bloggers to take a crack at it. I will address you as "Ms. Perplexed" from hence forward. Please remain available for any questions my bloggers may have for you.

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
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A "Thug" and a "Gentleman" ...Our Question of the Week..??

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Dear Mr. Anatomy,
I noticed you don't do your blog as much as you use too but unlike most, I got a serious delimma over here! (smile) I'm kinda dating two guys at the same time. One is a "thug-type" who is sexing me beyond belief. He and I have been friends since high school but nobody truly know that we are more than just friends. He is my handyman around the house, and I rent the other side of his duplex that he owns. Our secret is, he comes over here late at night, to fix more than the pipes. Now, with that said, I have a boyfriend that I truly love and he finances my life to an extent. We have been dating for 2 years, and are on the verge of marriage. On the outside, I am trusted, loving, and a career woman, but my gentleman doesn't do it for me sexually because, he can't fix me like my thug, and he can't "Drill" like him. He surely is not tattooted up with the Timberlands and tank tops either;  My question .....

"Is what I'm going through really that unusual? Will I be able to walk away from my "thug" when my
boyfriend pop's the question? "Why or Why Not?"

Ma'am, it has been awhile but we are always here for our bloggers and fanz. I apologize for the absence, but Mr. Anatomy has alot of fires burning but your topic caught my attention so, YES, I will take your question. From hence forward, I will address you as Ms. "Thug Luv" and allow my bloggers to give you their take before I show back up to give you mine. Please remain present for any questions they may have of you.

Hurchel Williams, MBA
Life Coach, Motivational Relationship Speaker

Author, Anatomy of a Cheater
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